I need this site to work

Newbie here. Day zero.

I am desperate to regain proper functionality of my penis. I am so discouraged and I am really hoping for this site to give me the tools and support I need.

I'm 46 and I can't remember when porn became such a big part of my life. It's not that I spent hours surfing porn, I just counted on a quick fix from porn when my ex-wife wasn't in the mood. And then with divorce, it just became so easy. Always accessible, always wilder and wilder. The allure of porn is everywhere, and just so damn easy to give into.

I was recently on anti-depressants for only a few months, and there is no doubt that they reduced sensation for awhile, but I know it is my daily porn habit that has created this PIED.

I've been seeing the same woman for 2 years, but we only have sex occasionally, when our schedules line-up. Even with the help of ED meds, I don't reach a hard erection and it doesn't last long. The other day she was over and undressed and went on my bed naked, waiting for me to join her. Those are terrifying moments. Somehow I reached some sort of erection. I'm scared of sex now. I feel so pathetic. Ashamed. The 3 times I was able to reach an orgasm with her over the last 2 years was by thinking of porn and completely straining my body to climax. So pathetic, so embarrassing.

Anyways, I'm logging my journey here and will try to make the most out of other peoples experiences. I hope this site showcases the positive side of the internet.

I need this site to work.

 

Thanks @Username1021. I wish you a lot of luck with your journey, especially with your fear of approaching women. Fortunately for me, that is a strength of mine. I'm very confident and many women have told me how charming I am, and I do have women who would like to date me, but I'm not interested. I once learned from an audio book that you should slowly build up your courage to talking to that hot girl you would eventually like to be with. The example given was, start by trying to strike-up a conversation with that old man at the bus stop who you have no interest in. Start by having seemingly meaningless conversations with people you aren't attracted to, and then slowly move up to more attractive people. It's makes it easier if you start these conversations in an area where you feel more skilled or comfortable than others. You can do it!

The fact that I do have success with women, that they are interested in me and pursue me makes my PIED more embarrassing and humiliating. But I know I will succeed in having a complete reboot, because it is just that important to me. I really appreciate your support. We're all in this together.

 

Thanks for the welcome DJ. As for my strategy, I'm very good at discipline with regards to working out and eating healthy. And I know I can discipline myself to do this too. I've made major changes in my life over the past year, and this is the final piece for me in terms of feeling free. I've never really tried to conquer my PIED, I always knew it was there but I had to deal with more pressing issues. Well now the time has come. So I searched the net for help, hoping that I wouldn't stumble across bogus sites that end up triggering a relapse. So far, I really like the experience here. It is still scary to open up anonymously in forums. I guess it's because it's like admitting the problem to yourself, which is a good thing. It's hard to deny that you have a problem when you read a total stranger's post about his struggles, and he's basically describing your life.

I love the PMO tracker. That really motivates me. Something I can see and get excited about as the number increases. I know it sounds stupid, but that works for me. Also the feedback from other Fapstonauts really helps.

I think I've used porn as a crutch for so long, but I'm ready to walk on my own now. Soon anyway.

500+ eh? That's a pretty big number. I do intend on having sex again, dont you?