180 Day Warrior Challenge (Updated)

Ok so today marks 7 days and I feel so good that I have already made it a week.
Let's keep this challenge going on hope that we can all make it.

 

Congratulations!
Well done!

 

Day 2 done, working on day 3.

 

Looking forward to it, POM might explain why my brain feel so mushy.

 

Apologies for the long rant, but this is the only place where I can open my heart without fear of judgment.

I am feeling quite annoyed. Searched office crush on FB/Google yet again after ignoring her near the elevator today. Wish I could be rid of this immature behaviour (especially at my age). I think my mind keeps "seeing" mixed signals from her while she doesn't have any feelings for me. I have tried ignoring her, blocking her out, staying out of her way, playing as if I do not care, etc. But even when I ignore her, she becomes the negative space that still, annoyingly, draws my attention. My body reacts to her at a chemical level. She has to but walk past me or say "Hi" and my mood changes. My "fantasy cycle" kicks off again as soon as I get home (non-sexual; mostly involving seeing myself in a loving relationship with her). This is akin to the effect porn has. How can I find a real relationship (which requires effort and has ups and down) stimulating with the real girl when her fantasy counterpart in my mind is totally devoted, never fights with me, and is there every time I need her? And my mind won't even consider anyone else because I am already "committed" to her.

Having never had a real girlfriend, I do not know the dating game or even how to get beyond Hi/Hello with a real girl. I have read quite a few books/web articles on the subject, but they are written from the western perspective/for youngsters and do not take into account the complex nature of Indian culture.

NoFap has not been a serious challenge for me so far, but right now there is a part of my mind mocking me. It is telling me that my brain is so horribly twisted that I will never be able to have a normal relationship and that my NoFap journey has been to no avail. And since things are so hopeless, why not give in to the simple pleasure of masturbation/pornography?

However, no matter what happens, I will not listen. I will block out my fantasy completely, and try to react to the real girl as spontaneously as I can, not analyzing her actions or believing that she has/doesn't have feelings for me. However, this seems far more challenging to me than NoFap. :-(

 

In. 3 days.

 

Been there, in love with a colleague and not knowing what to do.
I´m thinking of you and I believe that you can conquer this.

Proverbs 27:5 Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed.

I actually told the object of my feeling how I felt last time and she said she didn´t feel the same and now I have been able to move on.
Other times I have gotten together with the one I liked.

Only you can decide what to do, though.

Good luck!

 

check in day 3
0 relapse

 

I am IN! On Day 6 and I WILL MAKE IT TO 180....

 

Hey can I join this challenge.?
If yes then..
I'm In (day 0) starting from today...

 

Going strong, lets go!!

 

I'm in. Day 0.

 

Im in. Day 0

 

Firstly, I understand you perfectly. I was there. What advice I can give to you is to just go all in. Ask her out. You can begin with a happy `hello`you don`t have to be so energetic in that (but if she is the kind of girl that would appreciate that you can do it with more energy). Then try to apply the Socrates `yes,yes`principle (wich means that you begin the converstion with 2-3 questions that she can only answer with `yes`-that meakes her more opened to you and be more receptive to what you say). You can begin with the classic `How are you?`then something like `are you here from (insert the hour when she comes to work for eg) ?`(of course she will respond `yes`because if she is at work she come at that hour right?), then you can compliment her on something (how she look today, how she is dressed, how good she works, how her personality is, etc). At some point she might ask about How you are doing?, be sincere talk about what you are working on (because that will give her confidence that she could too speak about that with you). And don`t be discouraged if you get a `fine`answer. Just ask another question wich she can`t respond with fine or do an observation (like boss seemed very angry yesterday (or today), do you know/think why?, or `what hour did you wake up in the morning? you make a very good job in taking care of your look, I don`t think I coul do that in your time` and then some usual laughs). And from there the conversation just flows. You should be aware of two major things:
1. Don`t just ask question and she just answers them (you are not making an interview). You ask just so you can make an observation about what she respond or say your opinion or ask her opinion about something.
2. Be very careful to not turn the conversation in something about you ( I say this because I know from experience it is very easy to do that and is not that a great experience for the other person). That is whay you put questions to pass the conversation from about you to about her and she will at some point pass it back, you cath it and then you pass it again and so on.
And an advice, I know you are/think you will be nervous about doing that in the begining, we all are, it will get easier as the conversation flows and as you hold as many conversations with womens. Don`t judge yourself if you fail or get a negative response, we are all humans. You can be proud of yourself that you actually did something and not just sit and plan and think and overload your mind with scenarios that may never happen or look like that (of course it is not impossible to be how you wish, but that is another topic). Just be you and see what happens, if she doesn`t like you for who you are it`s not worth the effort and you can be thankful that you saved a lot of time wich would be lost with thinking about a person who dosen`t like you for who you are instead of wining the time searching for more women to meet. But of course it can happen the complete opposite. She might like you and want to talk more and hang around more with you. It is perfectly possible.

One more thing, when you feel that the conversation has to stop (because you two have to begin the work or go home or whatever) ask her out for a dinner or a walk or to cinema (where you feel more confident) and you can say that you had a veary pleasant conversation with her and you would like to continue/talk more. You ask about one day she finds time and you two have a date.

Just go and do it! It`s not medicine to study it years and then realise you didn`t need all that info! Go and get her!


#beTHEwarrior

 

Okey...I have 24 days now and I had victory last night. I think I successfuly trained my unconcious mind abot the fact that PMO is bad. Let me explain you. I had a dream in where MY FATHER encouraged me to watch porn with him and I sat on the chair and watch. As the minutes were passing I felt that senstion the body when you are edging then something instantly poped into my head that this is not good and I commited myself that I would not do it. So I standed up, looked at my father and say that I`m leaving. I arrived in my room (I have to say that this experience felt soo real that I actualy felt a little bad because I watched porn and I had to reset my counter (no orgasm though)). And when I was in my room I woke up, at 5 am and I can`t tell you what happy I was that it was a dream and I beat it. I beat it with my determination to change my life. That is one of my minds biggest wins and I guess and my first lucid dream (if you don`t know what a lucid dream is, is when you can conciously do things in your dream, they don`t just happen)

#beTHEwarrior

 

Im in goddamit

 

Check in day 3.

 

I am in . I want to quite porn it ruined my social life.