Why do some people seem to thrive in their lives, while others struggle being average?

It's a number of things, but in the end it all comes down to mindset.

"He who says he can... and he who says he can't. Are both usually right"

 

It's probably a mix of all of those things.

However, one really important thing to remember is that you can't read their thoughts and their emotions, and you never know what's really going on on the inside. What you perceive as someone who "has it all together," probably has a great deal of struggles that you aren't noticing. Sometimes certain things come easy to people, but if someone has a good attitude even in the bad times, it can be really easy for outsiders to THINK everything came easy to them, when it really hasn't at all.

I would say I fit some of those descriptions... I've always done well in school, I'm pretty naturally fit, I've always had a pretty good amount of friends, I was pretty popular in high school, I went to a private Christian college, etc.

However, most people who know me would be surprised to hear that my dad's business failed hard when I was younger, my parents went bankrupt when I was around 15 and we had to give my childhood home up to the bank and move into an apartment. I remember getting food from the food pantry at my church, because my parents couldn't afford food. I remember my church giving my mom money to buy me a new coat for Christmas because we didn't have money for stuff like that. I remember watching my idiot friends eat snacks out of the food pantry that was supposed to be for people with no money for food, and trying to tell them it was wrong without admitting that my family was one of the ones who needed it. I remember my dad dropping to the floor in the hallway, screaming in pain because his spinal cord had nearly snapped, and he had to have surgery and learn how to walk again (he's still never going to be completely the same again, short of a miracle). I also remember working hard to get scholarships and grants to attend that fancy private Christian university, and the only way we could even do it was because my parents were poor enough to qualify for the big grants.

So anyway, long story short... don't assume that people who have a bright smile and are attractive and have a good job just had all of those things handed to them, or they came naturally. Sometimes the world sees a smile, but they don't see how hard it was for you to put that smile on that morning, despite your outward circumstances or your internal struggles.

 

Reminds me of this awesome comic strip... (my friend tracked it down for me)

Spoiler: Pictures might be triggery

 

I attend a group therapy thing for people with addiction issues (with trained professionals, so not AA). Mine was alcohol. What I have discovered from perhaps a year of attending such groups and watching dozens of people tell their story week after week is that not many people wish to live 'average' lives. They all want to live great lives, but at some point along the way they lost their way. With a lot of people it is some sort of substance abuse which they get into as a way to console themselves.

 

Wow... Just wow. You really can never judge a book by its cover.

 

I love hearing people's deepest stories, because they're always so different than I expect them to be.

 

Everyone is battling something and no one has a problem free existence, no one.

 

Thanks for sharing! I pray for your Fathers recovery.

 

Thank you! This was a long time ago, so he's pretty used to his new life. He can walk and such, but certain things are still complicated and probably always will be.

 

well I am glad he is adjusted to his life he's a true fighter. Having a good family definitely helps.

 

I didn't expect such a story from you but God bless you and your entire family. It seems you've done well for yourself after going through all that. You should be proud of yourself. Everyone has a story to tell, we all struggle when no one is looking. Thanks for sharing your story. Having more people tell their stories could break down many walls that have us all divided and make us realize that ultimately everyone struggles and we all could help each other.

 

I couldn't agree more! We all, as humans, myself included, need to be better about seeing each other as unique beings with a story, rather than making so many assumptions and snap judgments about people.

 

Oh, and thank you for the encouragement you're sweet!

 

I think it's everything from ''genetic, upbringing, luck or hard work'' that makes person thrive.
As genetics may make you taller/handsome which would attract positive attitude from others and upbringing from good family which helps you every day and gives you support since childhood, luck to have supportive people at school and helpful teachers and hard work that is put into everyday activities to make your family proud and not to disappoint them.

You can still be fit and healthy, yet you can have achieved nothing!
PMO can play a factor, as it consumes energy but it will not change anything in your life if you aren't willing to have change and even if you can't be ''success'' as people say ''wealthy'' then it's most important that you have knowledge and happiness. As each goal that you achieve creates a small success even when most people have a different definition of it.

 

I think a positive attitude and not being afraid to succeed goes a long way in being able to thrive!

 

Good things cluster together and so do bad things. It takes focus to not let one problem like PMO lead to a bunch of others like it often does.

 

I think its just habits.

Good habits leads to a good life. Bad habits lead to a bad one

Its like the bureaucracy of human behavior.

Boring as hell, extremely powerful, seemingly without emotion and effecting almost anything.