What is your job /profession - Has your addiction affected your work ?

PMO has affected my career greatly.

In college PMO created depression and low self-esteem that made it difficult. I wanted to learn physics, but I had to switch to the easiest major my college offered (engineering and applied science).

I spent 9 years after college working as a software engineer. By 1999 I was doing pretty well, but I discovered ... internet pornography. That was like throwing gasoline on the fire of my PMO addiction. I was offered and accepted jobs twice that I quit after only a day, so I just sat around in my apartment drinking and PMOing and thinking about suicide.

So from 2000 to present I have been the bookkeeper in my family's small business. I had given up all my ambitions and didn't care about life, so I just went with the path of least resistance and this is the life I have now. LOL. But I know it could be worse.

 

I just got a entry accounting level job, filing stuff and doing documents and making sure the process is legit. My memory is so bad I can’t remember things, it’s struggling and I have to keep tracking of a bunch of files. Jobs they are working on and jobs requested. Got files all over so it’s hard to keep track of it, or at least for me... I can feel my brain working overtime on simple task, it’s like I know but I’m not sure what to do, that’s the state Of confusion... then there’s remembering what someone told me a couple of minutes ago, very frustrating

I’m very stressed and my brain hurts, combined with anxiety depression and depersonalization, work is hard on all levels

 

^ Oh, I realized maybe the question was intended to be about work productivity as opposed to career path. PMO has affected my productivity in the past 5 years - especially the last year. I can't reach an orgasm without hours and hours of effort. I used to start PMO in the evening and sometimes I would not sleep at all and not even reach an orgasm. Missing all that sleep would affect me for several days. Lately I have wised-up a little bit, and I start in the early morning. At least I am not missing sleep that way.

 

I'm an IT professional so I'm on computers all day. Porn blockers are worthless since I know every way to get around them.

 

Sounds like you’re better off with no pmo from your original reply

 

@learning you should remember that as a reason to stop or else you’ll be stuck

 

Yep, definitely true. Also, you mentioned anxiety depression. Have you tried l-theanine? It supposedly helps your brain create GABA which helps with disorganized and racing thoughts and so forth. It helps me a lot, because my problem is also depression with anxiety. Cardio exercise is another thing that helps, but it isn't always easy to get the motivation

 

Yeah, I noticed after a good run I get blood flowing in my brain and it feels really good, but like you said, the motivation to push that hard is hard to come by lol

I use ashwagandha and that seems to help me some, I recommend for you! I’ll try theanine, know any good brands?

 

I have read that you should look for l-theanine that has the "suntheanine" trademark. I think that means that the l-theanine has been tested for quality of some sort. I don't know if it actually makes any difference, but the cost is no higher. I have some 100mg capsules and also a bottle of liquid. The liquid you take sublingual and you can take smaller doses. I think 100mg is more than I normally need.

I have a bottle of ashwagandha but I had bad luck. I can't remember now what I didn't like about it LOL. I probably need to try it again to give it a fair chance.

P.S. They say it is best to take a little caffeine with the l-theanine. The combination is supposed to make you calm and alert.

 

Thanks I’ll look into that, the ashwagandha I use is jarrow ksm-66, good luck brother, I’ll see you around the forums perhaps. Stay strong! Peace love and positivity to you