1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Virgin in my 30's: Am I a loser ?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by bra131217, Aug 27, 2017.

Do you think I am a loser for being a virgin at 31

This poll will close on Aug 27, 2027 at 3:26 AM.
  1. Yes

    48 vote(s)
    9.4%
  2. No

    463 vote(s)
    90.6%
  1. Porn Killer

    Porn Killer Fapstronaut

    68
    102
    33
    No dude your not a loser. I'm 24 and still a virgin. When i was younger i tried not to be but luckly i never got the chance. Now that im older im saving it for my wife one day.
    Nothing wrong with being a a virgin. If anyone tells you different then they are an idiot
     
  2. Goggles

    Goggles Fapstronaut

    9
    3
    3
    I lost my virginity when I was 16 years old with a girl I met through an online connection and who lived near me, I first talked to her when I was about 12 or 13 I believe on a video game she didn't even have an account on but would log on her brother's account to level up his characters professions to relax and she'd always message me, met her around 3 or 4 years later and we ended up having sex multiples times, however if It wouldn't have been for her I would without a doubt still be a virgin today and It sucks because I'm really not that bad looking of a guy and I've had many opportunities before but I get so anxious around women I find attractive that It just seems impossible to interact with them without giving them the impression that I'm a terribly awkward weirdo. Being a virgin doesn't make you a loser, I would still be one myself if It hadn't been for that one opportunity, It just means that there are things that we need to work on, things like anxiety, social skills and confidence, It's always those things that seems to be at cause and I find it hilariously ridiculous when I see some men blaming women for their lack of relationships, if the roles were inverted and we all had plenty of women to choose from I am sure we wouldn't be choosing those very socially awkward strange women with fragile self-esteem would we? Those are just generally very unattractive traits, sure shyness is cute sometimes however severe social anxiety is a completely different thing.
     
    Sardonic likes this.
  3. No you are not a loser, you are just a middle eastern (and generally asian) who plans to live his life until he gets married in the end of his 20s
     
  4. Also, many people out there plan to be single forever either because they didn't find the partner they need or for other reason.. it's not about being virgin or not, it is about responsibilities...
     
  5. Steve Sancteria

    Steve Sancteria Fapstronaut

    472
    806
    93
    Just think about all these buddhist monks that practice each day to reach their enlightment, living in peace having massive pleasure living their life...and most of them are virgins...as they don't give a damn about it anyways.

    Having sex is truely a status symbol not because of modern society, because it's build in our instincts that people that have sex do have a bigger status in their society.
    HOWEVER, since we don't live in caves anymore and are capable of reaching way more than a freaking climax together with a woman, not having sex or never having sex has nothing to do with being a winner or a loser.

    Just think this way...are you a loser if you can build up your own company, having massive success...while you just don't have any sex?
    Was Mike Tyson in his 5 years abstinance of sex and PMO a loser while he won one fight after another?

    At the end of your days, the amount of sex you#ve had in your life is not worth anything...only what you've experienced, who you've become, what you are proud of and if you met your personal goals.

    Dude I will remember that I've managed to quit PMO after 1 year of hard work but certainly not with whom I've had a quick bang here and there unless it's one of best moments with my dream wife.
     
  6. First of all, I'm pretty sure Tyson choked his chicken. Second, being a virgin doesn't make you a loser, but it will make you feel like one. I know I constantly felt like a loser, like everyone was judging me for it. I used to create shit in my head thinking "what if they start talking about sex? I have to sit here in silence and hope they don't ask me something like 'when's the last time you had some?' and have to choose to either be silent or tell them that I've never gotten past first base." Truth is, when I actually lost my virginity, it wasn't what I thought it would be, but it was still great. Just to know that I don't have to worry about being embarrassed when that kind of talk gets brought up is fucking amazing. I'm still the same person though. The same person with the same anxiety and depression, which has been lowered a little bit of course, but isn't completely gone away. The same person with the same job and the same interests, same intelligence, same looks. The only thing different about me is that I've had sex now. I'm still a loser hahaha. Just hang in there man, but I do have to say this. If you don't try to lose your virginity, you will NEVER actually lose it. The girl I lost it to was really into me, was flirting with me, touching me, but I never would've sealed the deal if I hadn't made a move and showed her that I was interested. Stay positive bud.
     
  7. Steve Sancteria

    Steve Sancteria Fapstronaut

    472
    806
    93
    When everything is still the same...change might be good or you remain being a loser, not in terms what others thing but what you think.

    I love a quote by Ghandi, it says "Nobody can hurt me without my permission"

    When people say you are a loser, it doesn't mean you are a loser...however if you actually agree with them, feeling bad, use that momentum, that pain to change something.
    I didn't reach all my goals from last year...not even a lot, I feel bad about it but I've changed so many things that now improve my overal potential and this makes 2017 for me a winner year, never in my life I've abstained from PMO for more than 60 days, I've never managed to abstain from video games for more than 60 days in my life and now I have eophoric motivation to go and get 2018 what I couldn't get 2017...there is some massive change without doing anything.

    If you can make up yourself and say: "No more", taking action to make a change, no matter how small it is, no matter the issue, you turn from a loser to a winner cause you are the only person you have to prove that you are worth living an extraordinary life.
     
    Sirauder and Deleted Account like this.
  8. Mike_July_2017

    Mike_July_2017 Fapstronaut

    90
    89
    18
    My good man, life is much more crueler and competitive than you were lied to believe. Being a non smoker is normal (does not have any value in itself) and being a vegetarian is a sure sign of delusion, stupidity and socialism. Why would you share this information that makes you look weak and unrealistic ?

    Pretty much this is what happens in real life. Women are in general cruel and selfish. Society lies to (naive) men that women are something different.
    A better question would be "who has been telling me lies all these years, that women are reliable and will give me the same respect I give them ?"

    Women are stupid and superficial. I doubt they waste time or energy to humiliate you behind your back though. But do not worry, there are bad consequences for them, do not imagine they are happy. Any woman who goes after a man like that (the majority of women namely) will most likely get bad consequences. There is a price to pay for bad decision, nobody escapes from it.

    This. Psychiatrists told you that you are a victim - that is just a lie. You are just like every other man who is not in the top 1% good looking muscular or rich.

    Go to a high class (expensive) prostitute first. Second, realize you are just normal, struggling to get women's affection just like every other man.
    There is no dilemma, go get laid with sex workers. Then start dating again, and put up with all the BS the average woman throws at you.
     
  9. Mike_July_2017

    Mike_July_2017 Fapstronaut

    90
    89
    18
    Go to a escort. You can have tons of sex with every new paycheck.

    She is most likely playing you and having sex behind your back. If not, she does have both this option and the daily temptation to do it.

    Being best friends is stupid, very good for her and very bad for you. She gains your help while you waste time, get some serious brainwashing and unrealistic female advice, and you get frustrated and cuckolded.

    Get laid with different escorts a few times a month, start going to the gym regularly (3 times a week), do some outdoor work, etc. At least try to do these manly things before judging them. They are called manly things, by millions of people, for a reason.


    Sorry to sound condescending, but without experiencing sex you cannot really claim porn has distorted your view about sex.

    Unlikely. Most men lie about themselves, women are unlikely to believe you when the majority of men lie.
     

  10. Honestly if I could take back EVERY person I had sex with, (and still have my child lol) I’d go all the way back to zero. But I’m very confident in my own skin these days, where as when I was sleeping with people, it was taking away my self confidence bit by bit. I’m sure you’re super smart, and I’m very proud of you for waiting for the special one!
     
  11. Mr.Mask

    Mr.Mask Fapstronaut

    7
    5
    3
    I think a key point is feeling comfortable in your own skin. One of the best ways of doing that is the sexual experience. I advocating starting slow, real slow and cheaply. I am talking about Asian massage parlors. They are very common and most places do a hand job for about 100 dollars. I have derived a lot of benefits from this.

    I learned I had porn induced erectile dysfunction.
    I learned to become less ashamed of my body.
    I learned to tap into my masculine urge to initiate physical contact.

    All this from paying some Asian lady to tug my dick. Once you reach a state of diminishing returns, you can perhaps visit a tantra massage therapist. I have done that once and she was VERY accommodating toward my sexual inexperience.

    If you want more details on the massage parlor thing, PM me.
     
  12. Rogue_Russian

    Rogue_Russian New Fapstronaut

    1
    0
    1

    My dear friend. I’ll say it’s fine. But as a man of science, I would strongly encourage you to do a research. Maybe problem is not in you, but in the place where you live... like for example there is a place called FairPlay Colorado where on each woman there is 2.5 men. Of course chances of getting with someone here is low... So, you’ve gotta find a place where there are more women for each man. Such place would be Denver, Colorado, for example. It has highest national ratings of people having sex, so you see the solution... Save some money, travel to Denver, get a chick, and bam! You are done...
     
  13. Shapirous

    Shapirous Fapstronaut

    33
    37
    18
    Bro I feel you. I still a virgin too and I only kissed one girl during my whole life. I'm 22 years and I feel embaressed to that.
     
  14. Little kitty

    Little kitty Fapstronaut

    73
    47
    18
    Don't worry my dear friend.before god sent us to the earth,he wrote our name and also name of woman who will be our wife.just keep going,do the good stuff for your self and for the others.just be patient,the time will come
     
  15. Charlie V.

    Charlie V. Fapstronaut

    5
    31
    13
    Bro, honestly...there is nothing to be ashamed about being a virgin in your 30's and it doesn't make you a loser. I haven't had 'sexual intercourse' with a female yet, but I was busy getting a bachelor's degree, performing at open mics and shows and weddings, chilling with friends and family, eating out, and landing some cool ass jobs along the way.


    Not having sex yet is not a big deal and it definitely doesn't make you a loser.


    GL bro, I hope that when the time is right, you'll meet, date, be in a relationship and hookup with the finest fucking woman ever again and again and again. You'll make her cum more times than she could count. GL! You got this!




    -Charlie
     
    Cornixico likes this.
  16. Cornixico

    Cornixico Fapstronaut

    142
    338
    63

    Those women were bitches, just looking for easy sex. But don''t get disheartened, many women would kill to meet a man like you because (and I'm making assumptions from the knowledge you gave us)

    1. you have no STDs and peace of mind that many sluts don't have, so that's a bonus, some women would actively avoid men who have a reputation for the reason of getting an STD from them.

    2. You have no kids, now don't get me wrong children are wonderful but most single women secretly don't want to be with a guy who has had children from another women. This just avoids the whole step-father issue.

    3. You have no preconceptions of sex, so you wouldn't be comparing her to your ex or whatever. All women want to feel like they are the only girl in the world when with their partner. People who Exes myself included, have issues getting over them, and sometimes ruin the new relationships because of it.

    4. Never been married, this is more of a legal issue, but I have friends who are getting divorced and it can be expensive, so there is that too.

    I could go on but I think those four points suffice and I hope they build your confidence. All you need is some experience and you are away, just go out and party like it's 1999 lol
     
    Ashkin likes this.
  17. Cornixico

    Cornixico Fapstronaut

    142
    338
    63
    David, that's not very helpful is it? There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at 31, society has built up this wierd obsession with sex, it never used to be this way.
     
    Deleted Account and culion like this.
  18. Mr.Mask

    Mr.Mask Fapstronaut

    7
    5
    3
    To be blunt, you are a loser in the Dating, Sex and Relationship (DSR) arena.

    Are you as a human being worthless? No.

    Because your failure in DSR is not indicative of a failure in holding other qualities such as health, fiscal discipline and character. There are plenty of people that lack these traits but have easy access to their carnal desires. In fact, American culture encourages sex as the end and everything else as the means to acquire that end. Simply dysfunctional.

    Here is my advice:

    Women must only be compliments, not the focus of your life. This axiom is more relevant than ever. To reinforce this point, visit Asian massage parlors. They are approximately 100 dollars and doing it enough times will alleviate your anxiety about being naked in front of a woman. Afterward, you can move onto escorts, though I recommend a tantra massage therapist. They cost more but are far more empathetic and patient with someone in your situation. I know of a resource that can make finding AMP easier than it already is, PM me for details if you (or anyone else) is interested.
     
  19. Solitude

    Solitude Fapstronaut

    32
    16
    8
    It’s better than me - I am a sex addict and at the same time codependent and crave emotional validation from women. Talk about being at cross purposes! The first time I had sex and got oral and enjoyed a female body I was hooked like a drug. Obsessed to the point that it pushed her and all other women away. That and the other side of constant neediness.

    Having sex is one thing but managing life and the PROPER use of sex is a total different and HUGE challenge!!!!
     
  20. devinheppy82

    devinheppy82 Fapstronaut

    94
    279
    63
    You’re not a loser man. I used to think I was a loser bc I was a virgin at 18, and most people aren’t virgins by the age of 18 in today’s society. I’m 19 now and I’m still a Virgin, but I’m fine with it, I’m waiting to meet the right person and I hope that they are waiting for me as well.
     
    Little kitty likes this.

Share This Page