Is this a Relapse??

It is you who defines what is acceptable for you and what isn't. Ask yourself if you're okay with this. Formulate your own definitions of acceptable and unacceptable sexual behaviors.

For myself, I choose that only having sex (real or virtual) with a woman I like is acceptable, if we're in a relationship.

 

You define if it is a relapse or not. You set your own boundaries of healthy/unhealthy behaviors.

 

Not a relapse if its just no PMO, but i guess it could be a P sub. Talking like that to girls has caused me to relapse in the past so just ya know... watch out

 

Wouldn't consider this a relapse but it depends on what your goals are. If you started nofap to have sex with real women and you are about to get that then I wouldn't worry about it. One word of caution, just make sure this woman you met on facebook is genuine. So many fake accounts on there.

 

I used to talk to a girl online when I was on my longest streak. And I had boners while we talked about subjects not concerning sex.

I consider this "dirty talk" a relapse. Well, if you want to get laid, and are doing NoFap to get laid I don't see a reason to reset since you didn't use PMO. Depends heavily on your goals, man. Elaborate on that and we can help you more. But I guess you already know the answer deep inside.

 

Agree a wet dream is not a release. For your conversation you'll need to be careful make sure that doesn't become a pmo sub.

 

So the question is about your reaction to this conversation, right? Well, is this sex with a real person, or is it just a Whatsapp conversation? Is it your goal to be faithful to one person, or maybe to avoid masturbation and only be sexual with real partners, or maybe masturbation is OK for you and you only want to avoid porn? What's your goal?

 

I wouldn't count any of that as a relapse. But you are probably making this more difficult for yourself.

 

If you're trying to avoid PMO, and you got hard and had precum, I'd say two things:

1. YOu avoided a relapse, but barely. It's like trying not to get run over by a car while you're playing solitaire in the middle of a superhighway.
2. If you want to avoid PMO, why are you engaging in that kind of Whatsapp conversation?

Others may have different thoughts about whether it's a relapse or not. I'm not primarily concerned about that. My primary concern in your case is this: what are you doing teasing yourself in that situation, if you say you want to avoid PMO? What are you really about?

 

I think it's time to think about what you really want. Are you having sex with her? Is that OK? If it is, are the phone conversations part of your relationship with her?

Spoiler: Possible trigger in the question that follows.

Is she just teasing you? Does she just enjoy the power she has over you on these calls? Or are the phone conversations part of your relationship with her?

I'm not against all masturbation, only unhealthy masturbation to porn. What does on within the bounds of a real relationship is between the people in the relationship, as long as nobody is getting hurt or damaged (and as long as you're both being reasonably honest).

What do you really want with her?

 

I don't have advice; I don't know about the situation. If you're going to go have a relationship with her, do that (many people come to this forum because PMO has messed up their real relationships, and they want to reboot so they can have relationships with real partners). Right on the home page, NoFap describes itself as "sex-positive". If you can see yourself in a relationship with this person, maybe it's OK.

But if she is only a Whatsapp contact and you're never going to do more than talk with her on Whatsapp and get all heated up, then maybe it's time to let this go. It sounds like the fact that you go to masturbate after your conversations with her is distressing to you. If that's the only thing this is ever going to be, then it doesn't sound like it fits in with your real goals for yourself.

So what is your real goal with her? Is something more going to happen, or is it just that you two talk on Whatsapp, you get all heated up (I'm sure she's having fun with it, too, or she wouldn't be doing it), then you go and fap and feel guilty about it? It's time for you to think about what this is really about, and whether you see it as good for you or not.

 

OK. It sounds like she's just a Whatsapp contact. Then you're doing the right thing. Do your disciplines, work your plan. When a real relationship comes along, focus on that; you'll be better able to do it if you're not focusing on empty Whatsapp tomfoolery.

Do the next right thing.