My first and last post

My story: A year* of my life.
*goal

265 official days behind me and 100 far from a year of no pmo. Healthy streak. Why would I be quitting?

I'll respond to any comments for about a week before deleting my account.

So much happens in a year, and if you think about it: if you spend it well, it's more than just a year to you.

When I first started this I had no other goals to stay clean for a very long time, probably forever until I'd get a partner. Porn was shit and masturbating worthless, draining and life worsening. I wouldn't care to take a step forward. Life was dull, that all, so on.

At start I replaced useless times with reading instead which improved me versatilely.
After 2 months of nofap I started training which has lasted persistently to this day.
After 3 I started a new hobby.
After 4 I got my childhood gift for christmas, the reason being my persistence for such a thing. I wouldnt've had that exact type of spunk if not been NoFap. Finally got it, drowning myself in it every week to today.
At probably 5 or 6 months I overcame my anxieties five times better than before, and it was rewarding, soul feeding, cleansing and achieving. My mood became better after that. Got a bit more confidence, and I was finally happier.
At the boring times from those days on I wrote; it's a thing I'll forever love. The trigger to that had probably also been the fact that I was in better shape then.
And then, one thing I remember with tears, accidentally I hit my toe to a drawer and it cracked back into place after a really long time.
But as the months went on I had more and more confidence and I started to be more outgoing, and my music taste expanded to understand something as sensual as classical music and enjoy it.

Of course there were boulders, but I can't look back into smashed obstacles no more. I just don't see them.

Nofap has taught me patience, happiness, understanding, satisfaction, effort, sociality and concentration, and that my body and mind are one and that I truly can do anything if I want it. And oh, do I.

[To demonstrate the last one: my crush (actually I've been in such emotional hormones throughout last months I find her very much more) literally writhed against me today (and that's why I'm quitting, keep reading). Would it make a rookie insane? What if she'd get her thigh on the entirety of your arm? Her hind in front of you? For long enough time? My cheekbones just stung painful as hell and more. But I just thought: It's all going to be ok. (Counting out the times I thought about not going to the bathroom) That's something you can't learn from a book.]

Back to the question: Why quit nofap?
I feel like the time has come when I'll look at what'll I want to do with my life from this point on, how will I be handling sexuality, because I trust myself and my mental capacity on a level that'll challenge myself, and I sort of want that in my life. Like an intelligent person needs to think, and an athlete needs excercise, so will a spunky person need something to have their spunk towards.
I want to feel myself free but now tame in the modern world.

I hope I never go back.

As a failured mood raiser for this dramatic post: Although I'd relape after my goal of 365 days, I'd still be an astronaut: I'd get shot into space.

Cheers, community, and keep pushing!

As a P.S, I'm a female and I understand men's struggles. If you feel embarrassed about what might happen just think about how women reveal themselves so openly and you (probably) look. You'll force yourself through the process.

 

Hopefully the small details remind that it's all been just everyday life which hasn't seemed like much back then.

 

Also I just want to add to the subject of The Crush that she teaches me. She'd lose her job. And YES she knows I flame when shes 'round. I'll give her flowers if that ever happens! LOOOOL lmao legendary.

 

Thank you @SkyFallBack. I'm feeling broken in my heart right now because of my crush, but I know it's all going to be okay. Every time that bangs clear out of my head instantly I become less strict to myself. Rewarding is a better method than punishing as I've been teaching people. Proof right here heh.

I'll try to keep checking on this thread every day.

 

Stay strong man!!!!!

 

Sorry for the late post, I've been busy for good

You're speaking the truth. I've learned my ways. Spunk, blind hope, actions, then it gets better. Everyone's different.

I got a dimming coal of faith in me that glows a bit brighter the longer there is a gentle warm breeze.
By this time I feel a little better, especially if I stop thinking about it, and yesterday was amazing.
Sports does a miracle to all the stress hormones that transform from heart break, and then you're less miserable to handle the thing (if you want) and thats when you might get somewhere while doing so. Helps your thoughts flow, you're no longer staying in one place with the problem.

I find interesting learning about what's actually going on when we feel bad or sad or anything. It's research, preparation for me. Thats something I was brought into after messing up around many times.

For all I know humans havent developed in the brain a bit through the ages and all this human animal is going to want to do is to stay healthy, happy, and most of all, simple. We need breaks at work because we cannot handle so much. So the less you have going on in your head, the less stressful and maybe happier you are.

 

And depending on how long you PMO you have to psyche, train yourself into it, that is. If you know you'll be in it forever you have to enjoy it and see it as a positive, unharmful thing. If you know you're quitting after a certain amount of time then it's not so important I quess.

 

As long as you won't burn the house.

Thanks so much for the cheers, I'm at my real test. Mind checking my profile. I gotta go back on the lesson. Gosh.

 

Whelp, I'll be checking nofap the last time tomorrow. Thanks for all, been great getting support!

 

Thank you.