Here we go again

Guys, I'm battling a gnarly porn addiction. Its as simple as that. I want to stop, I've tried to stop, I slip back into old habits. The truth is I don't know how to get by with out getting hits from porn. It Calms my nerves, but then it leaves me low. It bothers and hurts my wife, honestly I'm not proud of it. So yeah thats what an addiction is an out of control behavior that acts as a stop gap. I choose PMO rather then deep breathing, I choose PMO rather then sleep. I choose PMO rather then nutrition. Its frustrating, and even more so because I"m the one doing it. Somehow, it doesn't feel like it, but it is ME. I'm going to try again. I need help, I need to see myself further in all of this. Honestly I feel depressed and I don't even know if I want to stop. The thought of looking at more porn makes me sick too. So folks if you want to know what an addiction looks like, here I am an open book. I'm going to keep posting, I've said that before, I have stuck with it on and off. Posting does help. I'm going to do that for starters, then I need to form a plan, again. Then I need to quit PMO again, then I need to do all of this again.

arg

 

one of the hard things about walking away from an addiction is the fact that in my mind i'm not that bad off. In reality tho I'm in a crappy mood, I don't feel well, I'm super overwhelmed and honestly for no good reason. its like the PMO thing just raises my worst self right to the surface. Some times I can't really tell I'm being so moody but right now I can tell. The Irony is when I get overwhelmed then I want to turn to PMO again. Really what I need to do is spend some time looking at what I'm actually overwhelmed about. Is it as bad as I'm making it? probably not. Intact there are a number of things that Icould do right now to help

 

Ok I will!! yeah talking through things really helps. I appreciate it.