NoFap made me very unproductive. You?

Last year I gave NoFap a serious try. I'm done with NoFap for now and I'm not inclined to go back to NoFap anytime soon. What brings me here today is pure curiosity. I'm very fascinated by the human mind and body and I'd love to understand your thought process around NoFap and why it didn't work at all for me.

Regarding Porn
First of all, I'd like to say that am a firm believer in abstaining from porn. It messes with your mind and objectifies women. I got desensitized to the point where I couldn't get it up during intercourse. That's when I realized something was wrong and that's how I found NoFap. That problem is now taken care of I'm back to normal, porn free, so that's all good. But what fascinates me is why people still abstain from masturbating, even if it's done without porn.

NoFap
During my NoFap streak of 3 months last year, and giving it a shot for 6 months, this is what happened:

Pros:

• The orgasms felt amazing once you broke your streak!

Cons:

• I couldn't think of anything but sex
• Whenever I met a woman I saw nothing but a living and breathing sex toy, and I felt ashamed of myself for having such thoughts
• I became EXTREMELY unproductive (in retrospect, I'm glad I tried NoFap, but I also regret the time I lost doing what I should've been doing during that time)
• Became very unfocused
• Suffered a lot from Blue Balls (I was told it was going to go away but after three months of blue balls on and off, I realized that's not going to happen. I tried a variety of things to get rid of it, including high-intensity workouts, cold showers etc. but those things only gave a temporary relief)
• Got frustrated a lot
• I developed premature ejaculation (Once I had sex I could only last for about 30 seconds)

You can see why this wasn't something for me. Abstaining from porn, absolutely. But abstaining from masturbation turned my life upside down for the worse. Looking around online, I find I'm not the only one who discovered these negative effects of abstaining from masturbation. Here's Brandon Carter talking about his experience with NoFap which is very similar to mine.

ProFap

Pros:

• Higher productivity
• Laser sharp focus
• More relaxed with women
• Less dirty thoughts about the women I meet and more deep and meaningful relationships
• No blue balls
• No premature ejaculation once I have sex
• More spiritual connection to life and other human beings
• More time and energy to pursue more meaningful things in life (instead of thinking how to get laid, how to get girls and what to do to get people to like you)

Cons:

• Sometimes, but not very often, I get Post-ejaculation sadness (due to the release of prolactin during ejaculation, not orgasm. If I get it, it tends to last around 5-10 minutes, then I'm back to normal)

The Bottom Line
When I abstained from sex, everything started revolving around sex, but once I embraced the fact that I'm a sexual being with sexual needs and desires, the feeling that life revolved around sex disappeared and life became so much more than just sex and porn. Now that I have embraced this fact, I feel like Tim Robbins at the end of The Shawshank Redemption: Free! I work hard on my dream with a laser-sharp focus; I ponder the vastness of our cosmos, and when I get horny I masturbate and have an amazing orgasm, then back to work

What're your thoughts on this? Love to hear them!

 

I agree. When you are deprived of sexual release, it becomes a fixation around which your life resolves. I generally recommend to anyone who is starting NoFap to go back to a weekly porn-free masturbation routine after 30 days of hard mode for your mental and physical health. Sex with a partner is always a plus. Because we are not here to deny our sexuality, but to normalize it to a manageable and healthy level.

 

Thank you for clearing things up! My mission wasn't to come here and hate on NoFap, but simply to understand. Regarding sex and masturbation, for me, it depends on how you look at it. Personally, I consider masturbation sex with myself. I'm not one of those who use masturbation as a "tool" to fall asleep or whatever reason they might use it for. I simply masturbate when I get horny Sometimes days can go by, even weeks without me thinking about masturbating, other times I might do it several days a week, but it's always driven by my urges. Sometimes I do a quickie, sometimes if I feel I can afford a 2-hour spiritual deep breathing super-orgasm session, I'll do that, but it's never a tool.

After reading your post, I think the essential difference between someone like me and someone who advocates NoFap is one's relationship to masturbation. I control it, not the other way around, but I understand now that's not the case for everybody, hence NoFap makes sense in that perspective.

That sounds reasonable

 

When reintegrating masturbation into your routine, make sure you do something different. It could be simply a different position (standing vs lying down), different hand, lighter touch, slower pace, touching your whole body, thrusting your hips instead of hand motion etc. Depending on your goals (I'm assuming is real sex), trying to simulate what happens during sex is always a good idea It might take some getting used to at first though... This worked for me in the past, and it's advice from an article online by a sex therapist.

 

Is a fleshlight a good idea for example? What about something completely different like prostate play?

 

Spoiler: Triggers

Yes I think fleshlight would be far superior to hands, because of the lubricant you use and the lack of harsh friction/death grip. Also it does mimic the real thing to an extent. I would recommend moving your hips while holding the fleshlight.

For prostate play, this is entirely up to you to experiment, but I would hold on to that thought till the reboot is complete. I wouldn't recommend doing it during reboot as we are trying to go back to basics first.

 

Thanks @NateCanDoIt

 

I remember when I could only start my day if I pmo. Some days I stayed the whole day in bed pmoing, others I pmo'ed to get sleep. Most of these days I was drained and with low energy. I believe NoFap is helping me in ways I could never imagine.

 

I disagree that people “need” to masturbate. That energy should be channeled into real sexual experience with a person, not a plastic toy or your fist/fingers. Masturbation is like eating at McDonalds. Better to just go hungry for a few hours until you can find real food to eat.