When You Focus On The Things You Have...

... you don’t feel the need to focus on the things you don’t have.

That’s easier said than done.

Right now I experience some serious loneliness issues. I feel pain in my heart from being lonely. Especially when I think about that nobody understands me.

But let’s try to focus on what I actually have.

I have a friend who I workout with regularly who understands my need for growing stronger and gaining more muscles...
I have a friend who knows where I come from, what I experienced in my puberty and early adulthood and is still here...
I have a friend who knows I’m very lonely at this point in my life, and understands that I want to do something about it right now, but I don’t know how. So he’s reaching out and pushes me now to take a dance class...
I have a family who understands my need for love and acceptence, but the thing is I realize now I don’t ask for that much...
I have a great health and feel grateful for that...
I just found a great community to connect with if I feel the need to do so...

What would you add more?

 

Your story really touch me! That must have really changed your perspective about how you view problems.?

Last weekend I was talking to a friend of mine and how I started using daily morning routines, like meditating and writing down things I am grateful for. Then he opened up and talked about how he starts every morning by being grateful for what he has and what he will do today. That was so wonderful, because I view him as a very optimistic and happy person, but I never thought he did someting like this. So now I realize it actually works and I have life proof from it .

@Hercules Stop thank you my dear friend for taking the time to respond and your kind words! I feel already a little bit better now knowing that I have to take action and actively seek likeminded people, and if I don’t I’ll fall back to my old life. And I don’t wanna do that.

Actually people like me also need help from time to time. But they know that by helping others they sometimes also help themselves.

Thank you for your help by responding and saying what you feel, it helps me understand myself better! ;-)

EDIT: BTW I'm NOT ANY DIFFERENT from you We are all the same, but have different experiences!

 

Yes it does help. Haha thank you a lot. It reminds me of when my first girlfriend broke up with me. I suffered from that. And a lot of bad habits were created during this period, that I still have/feel today. Such as isolating myself and cutting myself off. It is time to let it go in the past and move forward. I've learned my lesson and it's time to move on. We had wonderful moments together, and I want to remember that instead of what could have happen if...

 

Great, Thank you! I actually read it one and a half year ago. Some pretty good lessons in it, although I found myself after reading it pleasing too many people.

I like what you say about feeling the words you read. I'm reading the same affirmation everyday. But I don't feel the words I'm reading anymore. So it's a good reminder you gave me to stir up my affirmations so I feel the meaning of the words again.

Thank you bro! Thanks for adding something to the list

 

Great brother! I like your story about approaching the waiter. I’ve been approached many times by guys, and I always feel flattered and grateful when they approach me. Even though I’m not interested in guys so far. I like the openess in your writings

I think having still something in you that keeps you going (but don’t know what) is exactly what faith is. It’s trusting the unknown...

Lot’s of love and gratitude to you my friend

 

I really like this! And I also like your list and how you use it as a reminder to the things you have, instead of thinking about the things you don’t have.

I never immediately say I’m straight when they flirt with me. Only one time when a guy tried to kiss me. Another time a guy asked me for dinner at his place. I knew he was gay, but I thought I just went for it, because I really liked his personality. So I said yes.

We had great conversations. He didn’t made any moves because I think he just waited for me, but I could feel he liked me. Unfortunately we lost contact after our dinner, but I’m very grateful for this experience. It also made me understand myself a little bit better.

I’m actually very cool with people that have different sexual interest, I think mainly because of my own past interest in a fetish and because of my sister’s both gender interest. I think what you say... and that’s only because I had similar experience with this... is mainly because men are expected to stay strong in our society, and showing that you have feelings for guys means to them that they’re showing their weaknesses. It’s their supression of their feminine side. Which is of course BS as you and I know. But I think that’s just what them is programmed to believe.

If one of our friends said no to something he was afraid of, we always “joked” calling that person gay or pussy. You see how easy those words get swapped? I don’t say this is to say it’s good, I try to explain how this thinking pattern could happen.

For a long time I didn’t accept the feminine side in me, because I thought then I would be a gay person, and I didn’t want that at that time. It meant that my dream of having a family and babies would not exist anymore.

Complete BS!!!

Then I realised: so what? If it turns out that I am gay, then so what? I still have the choice to go for a family, because I like girls too. Then I realised it was just the shame I had from watching gay-porn and transwoman-porn. Now I’m happy with this part of myself.

And now... if my taste of gender would change in the future, I’m actually very happy about that. Because it can give me a new perspective on life

Thank you for your post my dear friend!