Life Without Porn - Boys Trying For Days Just To Get A Glimpse At A Nipple

Ya buddy, but I've often wondered about the other side of porn as well. I'm talking about how girls feel the weight of pornography.

Do they feel like they are in constant need to compete with the skinny, double d flawless girls who can take multiple penis' at one time in the videos? I feel like girls have a hard enough time trying to become "perfect" like girls on the front of magazines. Porn only adds more worries about sex for both genders in my opinion.

Sex is so hush hush, and girls are often humiliated and teased if they sleep with multiple guys, but at the same time, guys are constantly jerking the chicken in private to fake girls. I think it's time open discussion about this topic needs to come about.

 

Damn man me too. I can feel my brain mentality changing, but at the same time, I still feel the old me only looking for girls who look good superficially. It really needs to stop. I'm only coming to realize now how much porn has changed the way I view girls. I need to break this way of thinking. It's only the product of years of porn watching.

 

So right guys
This is the nut of why pornography is so bad. It's not the masturbation, it's the "image inflation", the problem caused on both sides of the formula, that one cannot attain perfection so let's just not even try anymore and resort to our private fantasy life, instead of the real world with all of its challenges and rewards.

 

The other thing here is that pornography is not perfection, it is "perfection". It is an attempt to simulate perfection, or usually starts as such, and then ultimately ends in complete pathologisation of sexuality and distortion of what arouses.

One of the key hardest things of a successful reboot is looking at the underlying fantasy, and it is a scary and sad one. For most men watching a low level of pornography, the fantasy that is unresolved is to have a very very beautiful woman in a relationship with me, who I can make love with. I tried to "simulate" a real sexual relationship and got nowhere. Repeatedly dissatisfed, this was one of the drivers of the addiction. This is just where the unresolved fantasy starts. The fantasies can get worse as people watch more porn or have other ideas or insults to their development (sexual abuse, other experiences with women etc.)

When you reboot one of the great challenges is a type of grief cycle. You come off porn and you actually feel sad. You feel sad because you realise that the underlying fantasy, which has still remained unresolved as porn so fake and useless, is still there and you actually dont have a good way to resolve it. You may be lonely. Your marriage may have problems. THe world is not perfect. You need to get through this grief and commit to a newer path. This is the path of God. You need to learn to appreciate and make th emost of what you have, to live in the present and take in all the world's beauty - sexual, non-sexual, constructional and otherwise. The unresolved fantasy inside you arose because you were a sexually wounded and emotionally/spiritually wounded person. To heal, you create a separation from this past and find that new gentler path where you learn that some pain is ok, and that you have many more options to get through the pains of this world.

EDIT: some of the younger guys here believe that once they get off PMO they will be having unlimited access to great sex with really beautiful women. The problems run deeper than that unfortunately. Notice how this type of thinking echoes a kind of dependency on women and sex. The reality is that most do not get a woman with the genes like those in pornography in bed with them. It is just reality. This is not to say that women in pornography would evera ctually make a good wife, they too are traumatised and harmed. They hate men and are themselves addicted to both sex and drugs. They have been abused and traumatised in their life and have turned to that lifestyle, being exploited. The reality is that you need to change the arousal template inside you completely and let it adapt and modulate to the beauty of any woman you do end up in a relationship with. This is easier said than done. You need to learn a lot more about sexuality than just visual arousal, a stage at which pornography arrests sexual development.

 

this insight is very good - thanks.

 

There are some people who are quite capable of getting aroused by "safe for work" images or their own sketches. Pictures of images of nipples or private parts aren't the problem. Rather, it is how the mind reacts to those images. The same image that would strongly arouse one person may do nothing and even actively repulse someone else.

True, porn may make a person anti-social, but there is also the problem of sexual addiction. If, instead of looking a porn, you visited a topless bar twice a week, would you really be that much better off? True, your social skills might improve a bit, but would that really be much of a self-improvement?

 

Sorry I have to challenge that statement just because it is such a sweeping generalisation.

 

why generalisation wotawanka?

i think most of the girls in the pornbusiness are traumatised and harmed. this kind of exploitation is a kind of heavy self-punishment. and surely they are addicted to sex and drugs (or alcohol).

i said most of the girls not all the girls. for sure there are girls and boys who exactly know what they are doing in this business - working for money and fame.

for a heavily sexaddicted person this business must be a wonderworld. we are fighting against this addiction - this people are totally enslaved by this addiction.

 

He is actually spot on with this. The women who act in porn are almost all abused, on drugs and eventually traumatized. I recently watched a short Vlog of ex-porn star Jessie Rogers (I'm sure you've all heard of her and/or viewed her content) in which she describes the conditions female porn stars are often subjected to. She was a top porn star, but decided to call it quits for various health issues. We don't see what happens before the camera is turned on, and after the camera is turned off. These women are exposed and horrifyingly exploited.

 

I'm not sure I understood everything in this thread, but porn isn't just the industry... I used to love amateur a billion times more and I know some people here are much more addicted to cams than anything else. Besides you can't know how it's like from the other side if you've never been at it, specially more if you're an addict of the product. Oh ok sorry- basically I'm just reinforcing what you guys said.

 

Abel, just a couple statistics for thought:

-79% of porn performers have used marijuana, and 50% have used ecstasy
-88% of scenes in porn films contain acts of physical aggression, and 49% of scenes contain verbal aggression

A recent content analysis of the 50 best-selling adult videos revealed that across all scenes:
o 3,376 verbal and/or physically aggressive acts were observed.
o On average, scenes had 11.52 acts of either verbal of physical aggression, ranging from none to 128.
o 48 percent of the 304 scenes analyzed contained verbal aggression, while more than 88 percent showed physical aggression.
o 72 percent of aggressive acts were perpetrated by men.
o 94 percent of aggressive acts were committed against women


And even worse is this:
-89% of women in the sex industry said they wanted to escape, but had no other means for survival


It's not just my opinion.

 

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

I try to keep porn off my mind all the time.

It's a really scary and despicable industry when you look deeply into it. The concept of pornography before technology was even around is dehumanizing and inherently evil (from a grand universal perspective, not religious at all).

 

Main source is here: http://iamatreasure.com/about-us/statistics/#sthash.mF0McW3S.dpbs

This is what reads at the top of the page: We are located in the heart of the Adult Industry Capital of the World, in the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles. 90% of all legal porn world-wide is filmed, distributed, and or manufactured here

I suppose this is a sample size: A content analysis of the 50 best-selling adult videos revealed that across all scenes

You seem dubious Abel, and I wondering as to why. I thought we are all fighting porn.

 

I'm 100% sure that girls are effected by the majority of guys viewing porn, and watching it themselves. A lot of sexual abuse is probably going on and considered "normal" behavior.

I'm guilty of it too. I would like my future relationships to be more wholesome and natural. Not like what many of us were watching in porn.

- vM

 

Which is understandable. I would not produce an opinion such as this without any statistical evidence.

 

guys there is a very good documentary - careful it contains many triggers!

9to5: days in porn

the best documentary i watched about the topic porn so far. here you can see and feel how mentally destroyed most of the actors are.

 

Well humans have been recreating genitalia since we figured out how. It makes sense really. We as a species are generally obsessed with relationships and sex.

I doubt porn will ever go away; it's far too tempting. And for the majority of human history such 'porn' does not appear to be a major issue.

However, what we see today is another beast entirely. High speed internet porn seems to be way too much for our reward systems. When you think about it porn is absurd. The fact that you can see multitudes of sexual acts within ten minutes would seem beyond belief to our ancestors.

Furthermore, i think the battle is not to be had with porn, it is with ourselves. I would not deny anyone the experience of porn that i indulged in for many years. It's a problem regarding self discipline and what you want from life.

Back to the topic:

I doubt everyone would be having sex all the time were porn to not exist. There would still be roughly the similar barriers to sex that appear today.