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Hi there all ! Newbie but determined to beat PMO

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Beamer, Oct 10, 2017.

  1. Beamer

    Beamer Distinguished Fapstronaut
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    Hi all,
    I am a gay man from Belgium, age 55, and i been using internet porn since 2000.
    In the beginning it was quit harmless, but over the years i looked for more and intenser porn as you probably are familiar with, i was no exception... My self esteem, self respect went down the drain very fast, and life was more hell each day. During all this, I had a relationship with a younger guy from 2005 until may 2016 , and when he left me for a woman, i was devastated. You can guess the result, i went very deep with my PMO addiction and it was never that bad and troublesome. I was a wreck for more than a year but somehow managed to stay at work and hide all my sadness and problems with PMO.

    I am not really a social guy in irl so i have no real friends who i could talk to.
    I looked for help for my porn addiction through books and websites but i failed in kicking off and it all started again, it never really ended anyway...

    Last Saturday i saw a documentary on Netflix where NoFap was presented (ShowView) and i instantly knew that i had to try it because otherwise i would soon hit a very thick brick wall (work, no sleep, excessive masturbation,...). I felt so sorry for Sofyan, one of the younger guys in the documentary and i realised how enormous devastating this PMO really is, it was frightening. My decision was very quickly made:
    I started instantly that night as my first PMO free day, today is the 3rd day and i already have lots of energy and positive expectations. I am fully aware that this is euphoria and that the bad days are yet to come. I know they will come, but no pain, no gain right ?

    So, it is the first real light in my life since 1,5 years, and i intend to do this right.
    I will try to interact with you guys, for i believe that together is always stronger than alone, and each one of you knows the problem in some way. Unity and bonding for the same cause is a very strong weapon to use against PMO and related skum.
    I also believe helping others makes you happy inside, it is free and gives great satisfation and rest of the mind.
    So, if I can help with a talk or whatever, just ask, i don't bite :)
    The first step to a cure is always admitting to yourself there is a real big problem, so don't feel guilty or ashamed, we all are in the same boat, ok ?
    Good luck and courage to all here and thx for reading this !

    Beamer
     
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2018
  2. going4gold

    going4gold Fapstronaut

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    Welcome and I wish you well. Working on day 23 for me. I am so determined to make this work. The rewards are immediate but the struggle to beat this addiction is relentless, so far. I am doing so much more with my daily life that I will not go back. Confident but not cocky (heh heh).
     
    Beamer likes this.
  3. Beamer

    Beamer Distinguished Fapstronaut
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    Thx , i'm glad you are doing well ! Keep on going there :)
     
  4. Beamer

    Beamer Distinguished Fapstronaut
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    My friend,
    Thank you for your kind words :)
    Thank you for reminding me of my own writing ! :)) I had completely forgotten it !
    I read it again with some mixed emotions, i recall the mood i was in at the time. Today, i am enjoying a much better life, without despair and loneliness thanks to people like you,
    who support me and so many other people here on NoFap :) Thank you buddy, you're awesome ! :)
    If i ever make it to 100 days, i will use some or all of this post as the start of the description of my noFap journey, because it really was ! :)
    Have a great day ! :)
     
    2525 likes this.
  5. It is very seldom I doubt what people write. But, I do doubt the "If" in the above sentence. Take it ODAT, take it easy. Having a rough day or hour? Try one of these:

    • Easy Does It
    • Live and Let Live
    • Let it Go
    • Keep it Simple
    • Came to Believe
    If they don't work, just look in the mirror and say, "Beamer will kick your but if you don't make 100 days and he's a a bad ass". <smile>

    But, seriously, it's about living in the now. Because, despite what quantum mechanics tells us about the quantum world, up here in the macro world, one thing follow another.

    - L

    PS: I know you understood that. But if not it's cause I just woke up from my nap.
     
    2525 and Beamer like this.
  6. Beamer

    Beamer Distinguished Fapstronaut
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    My friend,
    That made me smile, thank you !
    The "if" is because i want to stay humble here, i can relapse every minute, and i don't want to claim anything that isn't a fact today, so that's why :)
    It doesn't mean i will not do anything i can to reach 100 days: i wake up with my reboot, i go to sleep with it, i breath it, the 100 days mark is for now the most important thing in my life, because mentally, it's a milestone i need for myself, "for Beamer", to prove myself i have my willpower and common sense back, that i am finally healing from my addiction.
    I probably will not be cured, no, but it will be proof of the fact i'm recovering!
    I will indeed take things ODAT because that's how our macro world works as you put it :)
    Thank you again for reminding me of that post, it helps me focus even more on why this important for the rest of my life, for my pmo free future ! :)
     
    2525 likes this.
  7. OK I'll tell you a joke. You most likely have seen me post it before. But in case it's new to you.

    There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those that understand binary math and those that don't.

    <smile>

    - L
     
    Beamer likes this.
  8. Odigi13

    Odigi13 Fapstronaut

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    Am not gonna say am homophobe but in my country,religion,family and me as well we're not okay with gay and when i started reading your story and saw that you're gay i almost left but i said let me read soo i kept reading and i found your story really amazing am too young compared to you and your story helped because if a 55years old person can quit PMOs then me who's 17 i can do it too so thank you for your story and keep going on in your journey to fully quit PMOs.
    And me too am starting my 90day challenge i hope i'll go far and maybe stop porn and masturbation.
     
    Beamer likes this.
  9. Beamer

    Beamer Distinguished Fapstronaut
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    @Odigi13 : Thank you for reading my story and your comment :)
    I hope you will succeed in quitting pmo, all my best buddy ! :)
     
    Odigi13 likes this.
  10. Where are you from Odigi?
     
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  11. Odigi13

    Odigi13 Fapstronaut

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    Heyy @IGY am from Rwanda. What about you?
     
    Beamer likes this.
  12. Rwanda - exciting! I have never spoken to a Rwandan before. I am from England (United Kingdom).
     
    Beamer likes this.
  13. Odigi13

    Odigi13 Fapstronaut

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    Feel free to talk @IGY
     
    Beamer likes this.

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