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Longer term rebooters - PAWS?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by diddykong, Sep 24, 2016.

  1. diddykong

    diddykong Fapstronaut

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    So today is my 10th week no PMO (70 days). Feel amazed with myself and can't believe I've made it this far and am so grateful to the support of the community here.

    Initially in my reboot I felt all the superpowers - full of energy, confident. I felt that I could take on the world. Good discipline with exercise, cold showers etc. Since about the 6th or 7th week morning erections have come back consistently every morning. I've also been making really good progress with conquering my HOCD.

    Now I feel that all my superpowers are gone. I haven't had a cold shower all week (I'm planning to restart), my motivation is really low and I'm feeling really anxious again some of the time. Self confidence has been high but today feels really low again. Sleep feels less refreshing. I've even been having thoughts of relapsing and have had to fight it hard. I also have gone back to zero libido. It feels like I'm flat lining again. I'm shocked at how quickly it's come on.

    I'm thinking that this is post acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS). Has anyone else had experience with this during longer periods of rebooting? I've read that it can last for up to two years which has freaked me out that I will be like this for two years! I really don't want to relapse but I want my superpowers back. Does this get easier? Will my superpowers come back again? I hear that there are good and bad days and I'm keen to hear some people's experiences.

    I'm also wondering - is this why people get to 100+ days and relapse? I couldn't see how that could happen before but I can now. This morning I was low and did come close to relapsing. I think it was mainly because this all felt a bit hopeless. Fortunately I've had a good day and feel in a better place now but I know that feeling is going to come again. I guess it'll help me to know that I'm not going through this alone and to have ammunition for when those thoughts arise again.

    I really thought that I had done the hard bit :-(

    Thanks for reading.
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2016
    Muntasir04, VanGuy, santorini and 8 others like this.
  2. Hey man,
    I am around your days at nofap (67). And I am beginning to lose my good habits s.a. meditation and cold showers. And sometimes feeling sad for no reason. Selfconfidence is good, but not superhigh as I got in the beginning. The last weeks been: 5 days flatline, 3 days good, 4 days flatline, 2 days good...

    So.. I just think we need to do our best just to get our life together. I believe it will take long time to heal that's wy you experience this feelings.

    Patience my man and keep busy
     
  3. diddykong

    diddykong Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Larry. That's really helped. Well done for making it this far!

    I guess I assumed naively that once I got to this stage and through the initial withdrawal and flatlines that it would be easy. I really wasn't prepared for this - it hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday!

    Today my mind feels in a better place. I didn't sleep too well and I still feel like I'm in a flatline. Mood feels low, brain fog seems to be back. I did have some mild urges to relapse earlier but not as strong as yesterday. I was stupidly thinking this morning that if I MO then it would make all this better. I didn't give in and I know it was just my addict brain talking. I feel that I have some direction back though and a genuine desire to get through this.

    I've decided I'm going to commit to daily cold showers again from today. I should be able to easily reintroduce that. I have at least managed to keep up with my intermittent fasting and daily Bible/prayer so I'm grateful that I haven't lost all my good habits.

    Stay strong :)
     
  4. whoami33

    whoami33 Fapstronaut

    Post-acute withdrawal feels like a rollercoaster of symptoms. In the beginning, your symptoms will change minute to minute and hour to hour. Later as you recover further they will disappear for a few weeks or months only to return again. As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long.

    Each post-acute withdrawal episode usually last for a few days. Once you've been in recovery for a while, you will find that each post-acute withdrawal episode usually lasts for a few days. There is no obvious trigger for most episodes. You will wake up one day feeling irritable and have low energy. If you hang on for just a few days, it will lift just as quickly as it started. After a while you'll develop confidence that you can get through post-acute withdrawal, because you'll know that each episode is time limited.


    https://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm
     
  5. jorg78

    jorg78 Fapstronaut

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    All the best to you who experience this, hang in there brothers and sisters. (I'm this hell at the moment)
     
  6. Truegamer007

    Truegamer007 Fapstronaut

    Life isn't easy, you've to accept that. Once you do, ironically, it gets easier.
    One of the reason why people get this low motivation and loss of superpowers experience is that when you leave PMO behind you are making a huge jump from being a creepy loser addict to being normal. You'll never experience that jump again, from here on out, it's gonna be diminishing returns. You gotta work twice as hard to get half as much an improvement. Hence you'll have a period where you feel low cause you're getting off the high of the huge jump and things are normalising. Once you come to accept this, things will start looking up again.
     
  7. Anurag12

    Anurag12 Fapstronaut

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    Now I have got this, it's definitely PAWS, I am on Day 92 No Pmo hard mode, last week I felt so fabulous and today again feeling very low and little anxiety for no reason, Today I thought to masturbate but I suddenly got up and started praying God that I don't want to go PMO path again and guess it suddenly disappeared.
    Man this PMO addiction is toughest to beat, you have to be cautious, but I noticed slowly you progress it's severity decreases.
    I think I will like this for 8 months.
    1 year to fully reboot.
    Hang on guys.
    Brighter days r ahead.
    Don't relapse.
     
  8. whoami33

    whoami33 Fapstronaut

    How are you doing @Anurag12 70 days after replying ?
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2019
    IbrahimViking and Anurag12 like this.
  9. Anurag12

    Anurag12 Fapstronaut

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    Suffering with PAWS, symptoms r improving slowly, Some days r very and some days r very bad, PAWS is a roller coaster of symptoms which changes day to day. Ups and downs of PAWS.
    I hope will get better in next 2-3 months.
    90 days r nothing. Don't read those stupids stories that u will recover in 90 days. 90 days will not cure uhh.
    PAWS r definitely real.
    Mainly mental symptoms and sometimes psychotics type symptoms.
    Horrible but hang on, it will get better with time.
     
  10. jorg78

    jorg78 Fapstronaut

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    90 days is a joke if you ask me. I'm still suffering from PAWS and I was not a heavy user of porn.
     
    Darkestday98, jun007, Skielr and 6 others like this.
  11. whoami33

    whoami33 Fapstronaut

    90 days is not a joke for everybody but i agree that not everybody recovers in 90 days i stopped counting but am around 150 days
    Thx for responding
     
    IbrahimViking likes this.
  12. What do you consider to be heavy?
     
  13. Robot Stark

    Robot Stark Fapstronaut

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    I agree with you.
     
  14. Robot Stark

    Robot Stark Fapstronaut

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    These days I experienced severe withdrawal reactions, insomnia, anxiety and brain fog.
    Last night, I fell asleep before 23:00. I felt better this morning, but I didn't feel very well in the afternoon. I was worried and worried about my work.
     
    IbrahimViking likes this.
  15. Robot Stark

    Robot Stark Fapstronaut

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    Thank you. We're experiencing the same experience.
     
    IbrahimViking likes this.
  16. jorg78

    jorg78 Fapstronaut

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    I may be wrong, but I consider heavy use of porn to be 2-3 days / week (my opinion, doesn't mean I'm right)
     
  17. It’s okay, I don’t think any of us know what’s consider heavy and what’s not, in term of pmo use. 2-3 days a week? I was thinking at least once a day. So you’re saying you do like 1-2 times a week and got paws? Or feel some adverse affect of pmo?
     
  18. Sprinter123

    Sprinter123 Fapstronaut

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    Wow, I'm glad I found this thread. It's good to know that others are going through the same things and experiencing the same symptoms as me. Thanks everyone for putting a name to these rubbish feelings and giving me something to fight towards.
    Stay strong everyone. We can defeat it!
     
  19. jorg78

    jorg78 Fapstronaut

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    My brain couldn't handle the lots of traumas I have had in real life and PMO so it shutted down for surviving purpose (my belief). When I started NoFap, it got the tools to heal itself but it takes a lot of time.
     
  20. That does happen. I’m sorry for your pains brother. Too much stress can be very bad. Do you meditate?
     
    Randy83 likes this.

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