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Husband Just Walked Out

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by blackcat72, May 9, 2018.

  1. May 9, 2018 #1
    blackcat72

    blackcat72 Fapstronaut

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    omg..just breath! husband walked out last night after a very very brief conversation about my boundaries.
    Trying so hard to be okay with it.
    I will not chase him this time. who knows if or when he will show back up..I can do this. I can do this.
     
    blackcat72, May 9, 2018
    blackcat72, May 9, 2018
    #1
    Professor Abraham and Deleted Account like this.
  2. May 9, 2018 #2
    TryingHard2Change

    TryingHard2Change Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    So sorry that he did that to you.

    Good for you for laying down the boundaries you need. I know his response is not what you were hoping for. Stay strong; continue to stick up for yourself; if he cannot come to realize your importance and need for safe boundaries in a marriage, then he is not worth your time.

    Again, sorry that you are walking through this.
     
    TryingHard2Change, May 9, 2018
    TryingHard2Change, May 9, 2018
    #2
    Buddhabro, Deleted Account, Deleted Account and 6 others like this.
  3. May 9, 2018 #3
    phuck-porn!

    phuck-porn! Fapstronaut

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    fuck.... that sucks so badly! I'm so sorry...

    what can you do to healthily cope right now? run? cry? call a friend? you need some human touch.

    you're doing the right stuff. you're being the mature adult. it's so hard. don't doubt your own worth. wish there was a way to give hugs via the internet...
     
    phuck-porn!, May 9, 2018
    phuck-porn!, May 9, 2018
    #3
    Buddhabro, Deleted Account, Trappist and 3 others like this.
  4. May 9, 2018 #4
    hope4healing

    hope4healing NoFap Moderator
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    :( I'm so sorry you're hurting like this. I wish there was something I could say to make it feel better, but I know there isn't. Hopefully, after some time to think about everything, he will be more reasonable and you guys can work through this together. I think it's good that you were able to state your boundaries regardless of how he reacted to them. Don't regret doing that. I also think it shows strength that you decided not to chase him. I know it's hard not to, but you are doing the right thing, even if it hurts a lot. Hang in there. If you need to talk, you can message me anytime. We're here to support each other. Hugs.
     
    hope4healing, May 9, 2018
    hope4healing, May 9, 2018
    #4
    Deleted Account, Deleted Account, TryingHard2Change and 1 other person like this.
  5. May 9, 2018 #5
    TryingToHeal

    TryingToHeal Fapstronaut

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    Ugh I'm sorry, that is awful that you are having to go through this. :(
     
    TryingToHeal, May 9, 2018
    TryingToHeal, May 9, 2018
    #5
  6. May 9, 2018 #6
    EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    I am so sorry this is happening to you. My dad walked out on my mom (not for the same reason) without warning after decades of marriage last fall. They live 10 minutes away and he has decided that neither me or my children exist. I've been helping my mom nagivate through this. All that to say that I know it's not quite the same, but if you would like to talk feel free to message me.

    We are all here for you on these forums and support you 100%.
     
    EyesWideOpen, May 9, 2018
    EyesWideOpen, May 9, 2018
    #6
    Deleted Account and blackcat72 like this.
  7. May 10, 2018 #7
    phuck-porn!

    phuck-porn! Fapstronaut

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    WTF????? my marriage sucks... yet in the final analysis, the glue that keeps me here is my kids and grandkids. If i never had sex or real intimacy again (which is entirely possible) it would be 100% worth it to maintain the love and relationship with my children, and even more so with my grandchildren. Your dad is out of his mind. That must hurt and your kids so badly. I'm really sorry @EyesWideOpen
     
    phuck-porn!, May 10, 2018
    phuck-porn!, May 10, 2018
    #7
    Buddhabro, EyesWideOpen and blackcat72 like this.
  8. May 10, 2018 #8
    hope4healing

    hope4healing NoFap Moderator
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    Did you hear from your husband, or did he come back, @blackcat72 ? Sending good thoughts and hoping you have a better day today. :)
     
    hope4healing, May 10, 2018
    hope4healing, May 10, 2018
    #8
    blackcat72 and TryingHard2Change like this.
  9. May 10, 2018 #9
    blackcat72

    blackcat72 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys thanks he did come back..
    after I finally called him.
    I mentioned still living together until we can make other arrangements. he agreed. To be honest I I cant deal with the way things are continuing. but we have 3 littles and I really think there are better ways to deal with it a separation than him walking out. he agreed....then I initiated sex..ahh. crazy right. lol sometimes I wish I were the one who was able to get me kicks Somewhere else or by other means
    But I just dont have it in me. just doesnt do it for me..
    Im really hoping I haven't sent him a weak message by doing so
     
    blackcat72, May 10, 2018
    blackcat72, May 10, 2018
    #9
    hope4healing likes this.
  10. May 10, 2018 #10
    blackcat72

    blackcat72 Fapstronaut

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    I would totally do anything for my kids, including staying married .
    but the lack of sex is driving me crazy and then when we do hes 1/2 mast through it all...poor guy seems like he enjoys it but his guy, not so much. Im sure he realizes it and feel messes up about it so isn't that enough to make a change?
     
    blackcat72, May 10, 2018
    blackcat72, May 10, 2018
    #10
  11. May 10, 2018 #11
    hope4healing

    hope4healing NoFap Moderator
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    Unfortunately, many times, no, it isn't enough to make a change. In fact, I think knowing it sometimes makes PMO worse. To a non-addict, it doesn't make sense, i know. I'm glad he's back. Hopefully, you guys can work through this together, but he has to recognize the problem and want to deal with it properly for that to happen. Don't back down on your boundaries. I understand how difficult that is when you just want peace, but it won't help you in the long run. Stay strong. :)
     
    hope4healing, May 10, 2018
    hope4healing, May 10, 2018
    #11
    TryingHard2Change likes this.
  12. May 18, 2018 #12
    blackcat72

    blackcat72 Fapstronaut

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    Finally! progress! Husband has not watched since our big blow out on the 8th. I know It has only been 9 days but I am totally celebrating over here.
    Not only that but I had the feeling he was getting Into some Shady Shit on FB app.. I had that really nervous feeling the other morning. you know the one we all have learned to hate...It could have been my imagination, .he was being shifty and avoided eye contact all morning. Well guess what?! he deactived his FB app later that day! 2 things..this action tell me my intuition was in fact correct. though most Importantly, he made the decision with out me saying a word!
    The weekend is coming up..lots of temptation for him, lots of alone time...GOD Please help him make it through the next few days!
     
    blackcat72, May 18, 2018
    blackcat72, May 18, 2018
    #12
    i_wanna_get_better1, hope4healing, Kenzi and 1 other person like this.
  13. May 18, 2018 #13
    Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

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    Dont' just sign off of FB but disable the app on devices so if someone sends you a invitation or message from FB, it's uunviewable (this is in settings) good luck!
     
    Kenzi, May 18, 2018
    Kenzi, May 18, 2018
    #13
    hope4healing likes this.

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