I'm tired!!!!

HI all. I'M a new user here . I became 17 years old a week ago.. I don't know where to start . my life is messed up since I started watching porn I lost my personality. Everyone used to love me and everyone said I'm smart and genius. since I started watching porn, my relationship with god which was very good started to fade....I stopped praying and I started to sit at home and refuse to go out with my friends... I have no real friends now and I'm an introvert.. I don't want to do anything in life and nothing pleases me... I like nothing even gaming that I loved...I tried to stop watching porn and fapping but I always relapsed.. I remember that my longest streak was 40 days or something like that... but that was like a year ago.. after 3 months I will start high school which is a very important thing.... I promised myself that I work to stop fapping and watching porn in this vacation but nothing came true...I relapsed 2 times.. I'm don't know what to say or what to type.... I need help I'm sinking this is my fault but I don't know what to do... I'm sinking!!!!! I'm afraid I cant stop watching porn and fapping.... that really makes me afraid..... sometimes when I stop I start asking myself why I'm doing this?? and I forget why I started and I relapse again... then I'm depressed again and again.... my life is a mess that I didn't leave my house for like 20 days.... I need help I really need help... everything I do is boring and I don't want to do it.... sometimes I don't know why I'm in this life... I deleted Facebook and all social media that I used because of the depression I get when I see my "friends" pictures or other people's... I even see them develop in this life while I the best of them am the same for 3 years....I was asleep and now I have woken up but its too late... high school is so close....when I fap or watch porn I forget my dreams and everything I wanted to do....I don't even know what I want … sometimes I don't know why I wanna stop... please help me please help I don't know what to say or what to do I'm dying inside I'm depressed my life is messed up help me please someone help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! any Muslims here please comment and help me... tell me how do you succeed I'm lost please brothers help me.. even my relationship with god is ruined and I fear that when I come to him he wont forgive me for my sins... I don't even know what I want to do... Muslim brothers help me.... everyone help me! but Muslims I need your comments ….. and please guide me to Muslim groups .. I'm really tired of this life..... everything is playing and living his life and I'm in my house setting like retards....help.. and I need help from gamers too because I really think its connected somehow with gaming... gamers please comment down below and let me know what you think..... and how gaming affected your life and the NoFap journey… please guys I'm new here I want all of you to help me I'm begging you... help me.... I'm sinking.... I wont even read what I wrote before I post this thread...help!
P.S: sorry if my English is bad...

 

Hey! thank you for commenting man I really appreciate it. May I ask how old are you? again I really appreciate your comment. thank you!