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90 Days - Changes never imagined

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by thel00ker, Oct 26, 2017.

Tags:

Page 7 of 8

May 3, 2018 #121

Atrium_Guy Fapstronaut

72

82

18

So inspiring.... thank you

Atrium_Guy, May 3, 2018

Atrium_Guy, May 3, 2018

#121

thel00ker likes this.
May 3, 2018 #122

ClassicCase Fapstronaut

69

58

18

My Journal

At this moment I am 40 days and going strong.. but even tho I am doing well and happy with my progress. I am still this exact way..

thel00ker said: ↑

I thought this kind of connection with someone else was impossible. I remember going out with couples and thinking, "i'm years away from this" "I'll never find someone like this", even "why would anyone consider going out with me". Even though I had a lot of confidence in many things about my life, relationships was the subject I knew I would fail again and again, forever. I didn't have enough experience, I didn't have anything to offer, I didn't actually like anyone, I didn't feel attracted to anyone sexually. I was just numb to the idea that I could share intimacy with someone else, ever.
Click to expand...

.. Thank you for writing this. I need to know that I can recover and find this kind of connection and love in my life again..

ClassicCase, May 3, 2018

ClassicCase, May 3, 2018

#122
May 5, 2018 #123

thel00ker Fapstronaut

482

1,216

123

Supra said: ↑

i'm on the way!
Click to expand...

Good for you man! you seem to be doing good!

thel00ker, May 5, 2018

thel00ker, May 5, 2018

#123
May 5, 2018 #124

thel00ker Fapstronaut

482

1,216

123

Atrium_Guy said: ↑

So inspiring.... thank you
Click to expand...

I'm glad it helped! good luck!

thel00ker, May 5, 2018

thel00ker, May 5, 2018

#124
May 5, 2018 #125

thel00ker Fapstronaut

482

1,216

123

ClassicCase said: ↑

At this moment I am 40 days and going strong.. but even tho I am doing well and happy with my progress. I am still this exact way..
.. Thank you for writing this. I need to know that I can recover and find this kind of connection and love in my life again..
Click to expand...

Keep pushing through man, that connection is completely possible. I used to have certain issues that I dealt with a therapist in order to solve them. sometimes there are thing that happened to us that hold us back. And it's very important to get out of that loop in order to keep going forward. Porn usually puts us again into that loop again and again. Its troublesome and difficult to get out of there alone. so if you need to, get professional help! sharing all this issue with someone else makes it a lighter load to carry.
When you finally get out of there, you'll feel better than ever!
Wish you the best man!

thel00ker, May 5, 2018

thel00ker, May 5, 2018

#125
May 5, 2018 #126

Deleted Account Guest

Heavenishere said: ↑

Very inspiring. ..... i am new to NoFap...i can control masturbation and porn but not orgasm i always think about hot women and ...plz help me i want hard mode...i want to stop thinking about fantasy of hot girls...
Click to expand...

Bro, porn will cause those twisted fantasies so stop it at once! It may be normal to have sexual thoughts but porn will make you objectify women so like I said, stop it!

Deleted Account, May 5, 2018

Deleted Account, May 5, 2018

#126

Heavenishere likes this.
May 13, 2018 #127

Gripseeker Fapstronaut

173

1,767

123

thel00ker said: ↑

Well, I've reached 90 days, for the first time in my life I have been porn-free for 3 months.
I apologize in advance for the long post, but it's about how my mind and values changed thanks to the reboot. Maybe some of you can relate and be inspired to follow the same path. It's worth it.
I think that there are tons of things that helped me get here many of those were explained here:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...d-the-improvements-so-far-ed-progress.130334/

But the main thing were the countless reboots and relapses I had before attempting this one. With each relapse I was shown the seriousness of the circumstances and I started to truly understand how I replaced each anxiety and problem from my life with porn. Porn was a magic pill that I took each time something hurt or bothered me, and I have to admit, in that moment it felt great, but each time I finished PMO'ing I felt destroyed, reality hit me in the face each time this happened, each time harder that the previous one. I had to do something.

I thought that in order to fix my life I had to attack and fix every problem that was bothering me and I did. I made a list with certain goals, started working on my body, on making new good friends, on studying hard and working hard. I became confident with my own body and personality and this got me closer to amazing people which today I can call good friends.

Even though I had straightened out a lot and was actually happy about most things in my life there was something missing. I lacked connection, intimate connection with someone else, a partner with whom I could just relax and watch tv, talk, laugh and even have dark or sad moments. That was my goal.

I thought this kind of connection with someone else was impossible. I remember going out with couples and thinking, "i'm years away from this" "I'll never find someone like this", even "why would anyone consider going out with me". Even though I had a lot of confidence in many things about my life, relationships was the subject I knew I would fail again and again, forever. I didn't have enough experience, I didn't have anything to offer, I didn't actually like anyone, I didn't feel attracted to anyone sexually. I was just numb to the idea that I could share intimacy with someone else, ever.

I felt stressed and anxious all day long, thoughts filling my head like a storm. My life was filled with problems I couldn't fix and porn was in the middle holding everything together. Deadlines, objectives, conflict, failure.

Before the reboot it was all about sex. My mind was crowded with thoughts all day long.."should I masturbate??" "Is that girl hot?" "Is that guy hot?" "I have nothing to offer". "I'm horny" "I feel nothing" "I should be doing this" "I failed to do that" etc etc (very tiring chain of thoughts)
All of this accompanied by a total lack of attraction towards anyone. I was completely blocked, emotionally and physically. My head was very active, with very sexual thoughts that turned me on, but nothing real turned me on. Maybe I saw some guy or girl that took my head towards a porn scene, and then turned me on, but nothing was directly affecting me.
Porn was my only sexual release, my only connection with other people sexually (skype) and my only place for intimacy. Every real, intimate thing that happened in my life, happened through a computer. And this of course made me feel like shit. This didn't belonged with the person I wanted to be and I was very ashamed by it. So a new reboot started.

From day 1 onwards I just observed my thoughts and didn't expect anything. I just let my head heal on its own. On the meantime I used every tip and trick learned on nofap to avoid falling back into porn and slowly but surely I started seeing changes. Most of them I cover them on my 60 day post but the main one was to feel clarity, a brain fog lifting. The heavy thoughts dissapearing. I could see all my anxiety producing thoughts and problems, lined up one next to the other. They were easy to understand and didn't cause as much anxiety as before.

I started feeling comfortable with who I was, with my body, my personality, my abilities, my achievements and failures. My life started being "ok", no more pressure to achieve this or that, no more extreme deadlines that would cause anxiety. I just started living and most importantly enjoying.
I started having a lot of fun when I went out with friends (No more tiring thoughts when I went out) social anxiety faded, I was just there to enjoy the night with friends and that was it. No more "you should hit on some girl" "are you having fun??" "your friends are hitting on girls, what about you??".
These obligations that I had in my head disappeared and in the end I started getting close to a lot of people that I wouldn't have otherwise due to being scared of failure to make contact or fear of rejection. I started to really have fun with friends, like never before in my entire life.

My preconceptions about sex, relationships in general, changed. Sex became secondary, a part of a good relationship but certainly not the core of it. I attribute this change specially to hanging out with good healthy couples. Just hanging out with them proved me the importance of sharing life with someone else. Life gets amplified.

I also realized that I didn't need to make an effort to attract people, just being myself and being proud and passionate about the things I loved will attract equally passionate people with whom I have amazingly fun times sharing and enjoying the world we live in. I don't need to be a certain way to attract people, I already am that way.

As the days kept going, I felt closer and more connected with everyone around me. I felt more in tune with society in general. I was more aware of my defects, but excited about improving myself. I stopped identifying myself with the "porn addict' secret label that I always carried and this was very liberating. I was just like everybody else and had the same chances to improve and have a good, valuable life. The porn issue was already dealt with, now it was the time to improve on everything else.

I really felt like my mind was clear, without preconceptions, without extreme objectives, I was here to enjoy life and live it passionately. I did everything with as much enthusiasm and effort as I could. Study, work, friends, body. No pressure to achieve, just the idea of enjoying each thing and making the most of it.

In the middle of all of this, my cousin introduced me to a girl. On our first date we went go to a museum, walk through the city, smoke a joint on the park, eat something and then went out for a beer. I had never felt so relaxed with someone else. Of course anxiety creeped out on me eventually and made me question everything about her. But throughout all these days, the most important thing that I learned was to trust my gut, relax and enjoy. And that's what I'm doing right now.
Through these last 3 weeks, I saw this girl almost every day, I think about her continuously, we hang out, watch tv, eat stuff together, laugh and I even cried about some stuff. I just enjoy hugging her in bed, waking up next to her, hearing her laugh at my stupid jokes. I don't know if it's love or what, but I'm just letting it be and enjoying every part of it. Going through every difficult and good part of this relationship is more exciting that all the porn in the world. It feels fantastic.

I thought that all of this was just luck, coincidence. But I'm sure I couldn't have got here with porn on my back and in my head. I never believed in the "superpowers" of Nofap people. But NoFap helped see a bigger picture here, an important change in my mindset. I'm seeing a life ready to be enjoyed and I'm very excited about going through it. There is just no space for porn.

If 90 days ago you would have told me I would have all this today...I would have said it was simply impossible. It's not.

I really hope everyone can overcome this addiction, at least for some good time. Enough to let them see what's above the clouds. The sun is shining brighter than ever and once you see it going back to the dark will feel unnatural, fake and tiresome.

Nothing beats the real thing.

This is just a small piece of a huge process but maybe it helps someone.
Thanks guys for all the support as usual, @TheSpaniardDude @MrGeonov I trust and admire you guys, thanks for every kind and useful words you said. I'm sure amazing days are coming.
Click to expand...

Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, again! Thanks so much for this. I want what you describe, it is so motivating. Felt like I wanted to quote you on every sentence, but that would be sort of a cumbersome thing to do. Cheers!

Gripseeker, May 13, 2018

Gripseeker, May 13, 2018

#127
May 14, 2018 #128

thel00ker Fapstronaut

482

1,216

123

Gripseeker said: ↑

Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, again! Thanks so much for this. I want what you describe, it is so motivating. Felt like I wanted to quote you on every sentence, but that would be sort of a cumbersome thing to do. Cheers!
Click to expand...

Hey man! Thanks! Nofap changed my life for the better 100% I really believe it will do the same for you!

thel00ker, May 14, 2018

thel00ker, May 14, 2018

#128

Gripseeker likes this.
May 15, 2018 #129

Asgardian36 Fapstronaut

1,464

1,625

143

thel00ker said: ↑

Well, I've reached 90 days, for the first time in my life I have been porn-free for 3 months.
I apologize in advance for the long post, but it's about how my mind and values changed thanks to the reboot. Maybe some of you can relate and be inspired to follow the same path. It's worth it.
I think that there are tons of things that helped me get here many of those were explained here:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...d-the-improvements-so-far-ed-progress.130334/

But the main thing were the countless reboots and relapses I had before attempting this one. With each relapse I was shown the seriousness of the circumstances and I started to truly understand how I replaced each anxiety and problem from my life with porn. Porn was a magic pill that I took each time something hurt or bothered me, and I have to admit, in that moment it felt great, but each time I finished PMO'ing I felt destroyed, reality hit me in the face each time this happened, each time harder that the previous one. I had to do something.

I thought that in order to fix my life I had to attack and fix every problem that was bothering me and I did. I made a list with certain goals, started working on my body, on making new good friends, on studying hard and working hard. I became confident with my own body and personality and this got me closer to amazing people which today I can call good friends.

Even though I had straightened out a lot and was actually happy about most things in my life there was something missing. I lacked connection, intimate connection with someone else, a partner with whom I could just relax and watch tv, talk, laugh and even have dark or sad moments. That was my goal.

I thought this kind of connection with someone else was impossible. I remember going out with couples and thinking, "i'm years away from this" "I'll never find someone like this", even "why would anyone consider going out with me". Even though I had a lot of confidence in many things about my life, relationships was the subject I knew I would fail again and again, forever. I didn't have enough experience, I didn't have anything to offer, I didn't actually like anyone, I didn't feel attracted to anyone sexually. I was just numb to the idea that I could share intimacy with someone else, ever.

I felt stressed and anxious all day long, thoughts filling my head like a storm. My life was filled with problems I couldn't fix and porn was in the middle holding everything together. Deadlines, objectives, conflict, failure.

Before the reboot it was all about sex. My mind was crowded with thoughts all day long.."should I masturbate??" "Is that girl hot?" "Is that guy hot?" "I have nothing to offer". "I'm horny" "I feel nothing" "I should be doing this" "I failed to do that" etc etc (very tiring chain of thoughts)
All of this accompanied by a total lack of attraction towards anyone. I was completely blocked, emotionally and physically. My head was very active, with very sexual thoughts that turned me on, but nothing real turned me on. Maybe I saw some guy or girl that took my head towards a porn scene, and then turned me on, but nothing was directly affecting me.
Porn was my only sexual release, my only connection with other people sexually (skype) and my only place for intimacy. Every real, intimate thing that happened in my life, happened through a computer. And this of course made me feel like shit. This didn't belonged with the person I wanted to be and I was very ashamed by it. So a new reboot started.

From day 1 onwards I just observed my thoughts and didn't expect anything. I just let my head heal on its own. On the meantime I used every tip and trick learned on nofap to avoid falling back into porn and slowly but surely I started seeing changes. Most of them I cover them on my 60 day post but the main one was to feel clarity, a brain fog lifting. The heavy thoughts dissapearing. I could see all my anxiety producing thoughts and problems, lined up one next to the other. They were easy to understand and didn't cause as much anxiety as before.

I started feeling comfortable with who I was, with my body, my personality, my abilities, my achievements and failures. My life started being "ok", no more pressure to achieve this or that, no more extreme deadlines that would cause anxiety. I just started living and most importantly enjoying.
I started having a lot of fun when I went out with friends (No more tiring thoughts when I went out) social anxiety faded, I was just there to enjoy the night with friends and that was it. No more "you should hit on some girl" "are you having fun??" "your friends are hitting on girls, what about you??".
These obligations that I had in my head disappeared and in the end I started getting close to a lot of people that I wouldn't have otherwise due to being scared of failure to make contact or fear of rejection. I started to really have fun with friends, like never before in my entire life.

My preconceptions about sex, relationships in general, changed. Sex became secondary, a part of a good relationship but certainly not the core of it. I attribute this change specially to hanging out with good healthy couples. Just hanging out with them proved me the importance of sharing life with someone else. Life gets amplified.

I also realized that I didn't need to make an effort to attract people, just being myself and being proud and passionate about the things I loved will attract equally passionate people with whom I have amazingly fun times sharing and enjoying the world we live in. I don't need to be a certain way to attract people, I already am that way.

As the days kept going, I felt closer and more connected with everyone around me. I felt more in tune with society in general. I was more aware of my defects, but excited about improving myself. I stopped identifying myself with the "porn addict' secret label that I always carried and this was very liberating. I was just like everybody else and had the same chances to improve and have a good, valuable life. The porn issue was already dealt with, now it was the time to improve on everything else.

I really felt like my mind was clear, without preconceptions, without extreme objectives, I was here to enjoy life and live it passionately. I did everything with as much enthusiasm and effort as I could. Study, work, friends, body. No pressure to achieve, just the idea of enjoying each thing and making the most of it.

In the middle of all of this, my cousin introduced me to a girl. On our first date we went go to a museum, walk through the city, smoke a joint on the park, eat something and then went out for a beer. I had never felt so relaxed with someone else. Of course anxiety creeped out on me eventually and made me question everything about her. But throughout all these days, the most important thing that I learned was to trust my gut, relax and enjoy. And that's what I'm doing right now.
Through these last 3 weeks, I saw this girl almost every day, I think about her continuously, we hang out, watch tv, eat stuff together, laugh and I even cried about some stuff. I just enjoy hugging her in bed, waking up next to her, hearing her laugh at my stupid jokes. I don't know if it's love or what, but I'm just letting it be and enjoying every part of it. Going through every difficult and good part of this relationship is more exciting that all the porn in the world. It feels fantastic.

I thought that all of this was just luck, coincidence. But I'm sure I couldn't have got here with porn on my back and in my head. I never believed in the "superpowers" of Nofap people. But NoFap helped see a bigger picture here, an important change in my mindset. I'm seeing a life ready to be enjoyed and I'm very excited about going through it. There is just no space for porn.

If 90 days ago you would have told me I would have all this today...I would have said it was simply impossible. It's not.

I really hope everyone can overcome this addiction, at least for some good time. Enough to let them see what's above the clouds. The sun is shining brighter than ever and once you see it going back to the dark will feel unnatural, fake and tiresome.

Nothing beats the real thing.

This is just a small piece of a huge process but maybe it helps someone.
Thanks guys for all the support as usual, @TheSpaniardDude @MrGeonov I trust and admire you guys, thanks for every kind and useful words you said. I'm sure amazing days are coming.
Click to expand...

Great post man @thel00ker thank you for sharing.

but what happened what made you relapse???

Asgardian36, May 15, 2018

Asgardian36, May 15, 2018

#129
May 15, 2018 #130

Deleted Account Guest

I am here! #90

Deleted Account, May 15, 2018

Deleted Account, May 15, 2018

#130
May 27, 2018 #131

thel00ker Fapstronaut

482

1,216

123

Chappo030891 said: ↑

Great post man @thel00ker thank you for sharing.

but what happened what made you relapse???
Click to expand...

Hi man, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Well, at the time I was struggling with different problems, specially related to my commitment both to my work and my girlfriend. I started simply watching some porn without masturbating, but that doesn't last long.
I ended up PMOing after some days of ‘just watching’ porn.
Luckily I didn’t feel devastated, simply because I understood where the struggle was coming from. Porn is just a symptom of something wrong going on deep within us. A coping mechanism to deal with things we are struggling with.
After the relapse I could see more clearly the things that I was doing wrong and I planned ahead to change them.
Therapy also helped a lot.
I’m starting to truly understand that the fight is not against porn, but against the things that are not properly resolved within us. Porn is an unfortunate symptom that presents itself when these struggles become more evident.
Its easier to blame porn, than to blame ourselves in times of struggle.
Anyways! I’m still fighting the fight and enthusiastic about my future!
How are you doing??

thel00ker, May 27, 2018

thel00ker, May 27, 2018

#131

spaces, rewiring4good, SanityOverVanity and 1 other person like this.
May 28, 2018 #132

Abetterbrain Fapstronaut

316

331

63

This is a fantastic post! Your story telling and grammar is fantastic as well. I will keep this open as a tab and refer back to it for inspiration. I am realising how much on an addiction I have to PMO and am having a tough time combatting it at the moment. I'm beginning to realise that it's the cause of so many problems in my life.

I hope that one day o have a story like yours to share.

Abetterbrain, May 28, 2018

Abetterbrain, May 28, 2018

#132
May 28, 2018 #133

Monk M0de Fapstronaut

6

3

3

thel00ker said: ↑

Well, I've reached 90 days, for the first time in my life I have been porn-free for 3 months.
I apologize in advance for the long post, but it's about how my mind and values changed thanks to the reboot. Maybe some of you can relate and be inspired to follow the same path. It's worth it.
I think that there are tons of things that helped me get here many of those were explained here:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...d-the-improvements-so-far-ed-progress.130334/

But the main thing were the countless reboots and relapses I had before attempting this one. With each relapse I was shown the seriousness of the circumstances and I started to truly understand how I replaced each anxiety and problem from my life with porn. Porn was a magic pill that I took each time something hurt or bothered me, and I have to admit, in that moment it felt great, but each time I finished PMO'ing I felt destroyed, reality hit me in the face each time this happened, each time harder that the previous one. I had to do something.

I thought that in order to fix my life I had to attack and fix every problem that was bothering me and I did. I made a list with certain goals, started working on my body, on making new good friends, on studying hard and working hard. I became confident with my own body and personality and this got me closer to amazing people which today I can call good friends.

Even though I had straightened out a lot and was actually happy about most things in my life there was something missing. I lacked connection, intimate connection with someone else, a partner with whom I could just relax and watch tv, talk, laugh and even have dark or sad moments. That was my goal.

I thought this kind of connection with someone else was impossible. I remember going out with couples and thinking, "i'm years away from this" "I'll never find someone like this", even "why would anyone consider going out with me". Even though I had a lot of confidence in many things about my life, relationships was the subject I knew I would fail again and again, forever. I didn't have enough experience, I didn't have anything to offer, I didn't actually like anyone, I didn't feel attracted to anyone sexually. I was just numb to the idea that I could share intimacy with someone else, ever.

I felt stressed and anxious all day long, thoughts filling my head like a storm. My life was filled with problems I couldn't fix and porn was in the middle holding everything together. Deadlines, objectives, conflict, failure.

Before the reboot it was all about sex. My mind was crowded with thoughts all day long.."should I masturbate??" "Is that girl hot?" "Is that guy hot?" "I have nothing to offer". "I'm horny" "I feel nothing" "I should be doing this" "I failed to do that" etc etc (very tiring chain of thoughts)
All of this accompanied by a total lack of attraction towards anyone. I was completely blocked, emotionally and physically. My head was very active, with very sexual thoughts that turned me on, but nothing real turned me on. Maybe I saw some guy or girl that took my head towards a porn scene, and then turned me on, but nothing was directly affecting me.
Porn was my only sexual release, my only connection with other people sexually (skype) and my only place for intimacy. Every real, intimate thing that happened in my life, happened through a computer. And this of course made me feel like shit. This didn't belonged with the person I wanted to be and I was very ashamed by it. So a new reboot started.

From day 1 onwards I just observed my thoughts and didn't expect anything. I just let my head heal on its own. On the meantime I used every tip and trick learned on nofap to avoid falling back into porn and slowly but surely I started seeing changes. Most of them I cover them on my 60 day post but the main one was to feel clarity, a brain fog lifting. The heavy thoughts dissapearing. I could see all my anxiety producing thoughts and problems, lined up one next to the other. They were easy to understand and didn't cause as much anxiety as before.

I started feeling comfortable with who I was, with my body, my personality, my abilities, my achievements and failures. My life started being "ok", no more pressure to achieve this or that, no more extreme deadlines that would cause anxiety. I just started living and most importantly enjoying.
I started having a lot of fun when I went out with friends (No more tiring thoughts when I went out) social anxiety faded, I was just there to enjoy the night with friends and that was it. No more "you should hit on some girl" "are you having fun??" "your friends are hitting on girls, what about you??".
These obligations that I had in my head disappeared and in the end I started getting close to a lot of people that I wouldn't have otherwise due to being scared of failure to make contact or fear of rejection. I started to really have fun with friends, like never before in my entire life.

My preconceptions about sex, relationships in general, changed. Sex became secondary, a part of a good relationship but certainly not the core of it. I attribute this change specially to hanging out with good healthy couples. Just hanging out with them proved me the importance of sharing life with someone else. Life gets amplified.

I also realized that I didn't need to make an effort to attract people, just being myself and being proud and passionate about the things I loved will attract equally passionate people with whom I have amazingly fun times sharing and enjoying the world we live in. I don't need to be a certain way to attract people, I already am that way.

As the days kept going, I felt closer and more connected with everyone around me. I felt more in tune with society in general. I was more aware of my defects, but excited about improving myself. I stopped identifying myself with the "porn addict' secret label that I always carried and this was very liberating. I was just like everybody else and had the same chances to improve and have a good, valuable life. The porn issue was already dealt with, now it was the time to improve on everything else.

I really felt like my mind was clear, without preconceptions, without extreme objectives, I was here to enjoy life and live it passionately. I did everything with as much enthusiasm and effort as I could. Study, work, friends, body. No pressure to achieve, just the idea of enjoying each thing and making the most of it.

In the middle of all of this, my cousin introduced me to a girl. On our first date we went go to a museum, walk through the city, smoke a joint on the park, eat something and then went out for a beer. I had never felt so relaxed with someone else. Of course anxiety creeped out on me eventually and made me question everything about her. But throughout all these days, the most important thing that I learned was to trust my gut, relax and enjoy. And that's what I'm doing right now.
Through these last 3 weeks, I saw this girl almost every day, I think about her continuously, we hang out, watch tv, eat stuff together, laugh and I even cried about some stuff. I just enjoy hugging her in bed, waking up next to her, hearing her laugh at my stupid jokes. I don't know if it's love or what, but I'm just letting it be and enjoying every part of it. Going through every difficult and good part of this relationship is more exciting that all the porn in the world. It feels fantastic.

I thought that all of this was just luck, coincidence. But I'm sure I couldn't have got here with porn on my back and in my head. I never believed in the "superpowers" of Nofap people. But NoFap helped see a bigger picture here, an important change in my mindset. I'm seeing a life ready to be enjoyed and I'm very excited about going through it. There is just no space for porn.

If 90 days ago you would have told me I would have all this today...I would have said it was simply impossible. It's not.

I really hope everyone can overcome this addiction, at least for some good time. Enough to let them see what's above the clouds. The sun is shining brighter than ever and once you see it going back to the dark will feel unnatural, fake and tiresome.

Nothing beats the real thing.

This is just a small piece of a huge process but maybe it helps someone.
Thanks guys for all the support as usual, @TheSpaniardDude @MrGeonov I trust and admire you guys, thanks for every kind and useful words you said. I'm sure amazing days are coming.
Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing man! This is such a big inspiration for me!

Monk M0de, May 28, 2018

Monk M0de, May 28, 2018

#133

thel00ker likes this.
May 29, 2018 #134

thel00ker Fapstronaut

482

1,216

123

Abetterbrain said: ↑

This is a fantastic post! Your story telling and grammar is fantastic as well. I will keep this open as a tab and refer back to it for inspiration. I am realising how much on an addiction I have to PMO and am having a tough time combatting it at the moment. I'm beginning to realise that it's the cause of so many problems in my life.

I hope that one day o have a story like yours to share.
Click to expand...

You're on a great day-count! Congrats on reaching 60 days!
I'm glad this post helped you out somehow!

thel00ker, May 29, 2018

thel00ker, May 29, 2018

#134
May 29, 2018 #135

Pyara31 Fapstronaut

533

419

63

thel00ker said: ↑

Well, I've reached 90 days, for the first time in my life I have been porn-free for 3 months.
I apologize in advance for the long post, but it's about how my mind and values changed thanks to the reboot. Maybe some of you can relate and be inspired to follow the same path. It's worth it.
I think that there are tons of things that helped me get here many of those were explained here:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...d-the-improvements-so-far-ed-progress.130334/

But the main thing were the countless reboots and relapses I had before attempting this one. With each relapse I was shown the seriousness of the circumstances and I started to truly understand how I replaced each anxiety and problem from my life with porn. Porn was a magic pill that I took each time something hurt or bothered me, and I have to admit, in that moment it felt great, but each time I finished PMO'ing I felt destroyed, reality hit me in the face each time this happened, each time harder that the previous one. I had to do something.

I thought that in order to fix my life I had to attack and fix every problem that was bothering me and I did. I made a list with certain goals, started working on my body, on making new good friends, on studying hard and working hard. I became confident with my own body and personality and this got me closer to amazing people which today I can call good friends.

Even though I had straightened out a lot and was actually happy about most things in my life there was something missing. I lacked connection, intimate connection with someone else, a partner with whom I could just relax and watch tv, talk, laugh and even have dark or sad moments. That was my goal.

I thought this kind of connection with someone else was impossible. I remember going out with couples and thinking, "i'm years away from this" "I'll never find someone like this", even "why would anyone consider going out with me". Even though I had a lot of confidence in many things about my life, relationships was the subject I knew I would fail again and again, forever. I didn't have enough experience, I didn't have anything to offer, I didn't actually like anyone, I didn't feel attracted to anyone sexually. I was just numb to the idea that I could share intimacy with someone else, ever.

I felt stressed and anxious all day long, thoughts filling my head like a storm. My life was filled with problems I couldn't fix and porn was in the middle holding everything together. Deadlines, objectives, conflict, failure.

Before the reboot it was all about sex. My mind was crowded with thoughts all day long.."should I masturbate??" "Is that girl hot?" "Is that guy hot?" "I have nothing to offer". "I'm horny" "I feel nothing" "I should be doing this" "I failed to do that" etc etc (very tiring chain of thoughts)
All of this accompanied by a total lack of attraction towards anyone. I was completely blocked, emotionally and physically. My head was very active, with very sexual thoughts that turned me on, but nothing real turned me on. Maybe I saw some guy or girl that took my head towards a porn scene, and then turned me on, but nothing was directly affecting me.
Porn was my only sexual release, my only connection with other people sexually (skype) and my only place for intimacy. Every real, intimate thing that happened in my life, happened through a computer. And this of course made me feel like shit. This didn't belonged with the person I wanted to be and I was very ashamed by it. So a new reboot started.

From day 1 onwards I just observed my thoughts and didn't expect anything. I just let my head heal on its own. On the meantime I used every tip and trick learned on nofap to avoid falling back into porn and slowly but surely I started seeing changes. Most of them I cover them on my 60 day post but the main one was to feel clarity, a brain fog lifting. The heavy thoughts dissapearing. I could see all my anxiety producing thoughts and problems, lined up one next to the other. They were easy to understand and didn't cause as much anxiety as before.

I started feeling comfortable with who I was, with my body, my personality, my abilities, my achievements and failures. My life started being "ok", no more pressure to achieve this or that, no more extreme deadlines that would cause anxiety. I just started living and most importantly enjoying.
I started having a lot of fun when I went out with friends (No more tiring thoughts when I went out) social anxiety faded, I was just there to enjoy the night with friends and that was it. No more "you should hit on some girl" "are you having fun??" "your friends are hitting on girls, what about you??".
These obligations that I had in my head disappeared and in the end I started getting close to a lot of people that I wouldn't have otherwise due to being scared of failure to make contact or fear of rejection. I started to really have fun with friends, like never before in my entire life.

My preconceptions about sex, relationships in general, changed. Sex became secondary, a part of a good relationship but certainly not the core of it. I attribute this change specially to hanging out with good healthy couples. Just hanging out with them proved me the importance of sharing life with someone else. Life gets amplified.

I also realized that I didn't need to make an effort to attract people, just being myself and being proud and passionate about the things I loved will attract equally passionate people with whom I have amazingly fun times sharing and enjoying the world we live in. I don't need to be a certain way to attract people, I already am that way.

As the days kept going, I felt closer and more connected with everyone around me. I felt more in tune with society in general. I was more aware of my defects, but excited about improving myself. I stopped identifying myself with the "porn addict' secret label that I always carried and this was very liberating. I was just like everybody else and had the same chances to improve and have a good, valuable life. The porn issue was already dealt with, now it was the time to improve on everything else.

I really felt like my mind was clear, without preconceptions, without extreme objectives, I was here to enjoy life and live it passionately. I did everything with as much enthusiasm and effort as I could. Study, work, friends, body. No pressure to achieve, just the idea of enjoying each thing and making the most of it.

In the middle of all of this, my cousin introduced me to a girl. On our first date we went go to a museum, walk through the city, smoke a joint on the park, eat something and then went out for a beer. I had never felt so relaxed with someone else. Of course anxiety creeped out on me eventually and made me question everything about her. But throughout all these days, the most important thing that I learned was to trust my gut, relax and enjoy. And that's what I'm doing right now.
Through these last 3 weeks, I saw this girl almost every day, I think about her continuously, we hang out, watch tv, eat stuff together, laugh and I even cried about some stuff. I just enjoy hugging her in bed, waking up next to her, hearing her laugh at my stupid jokes. I don't know if it's love or what, but I'm just letting it be and enjoying every part of it. Going through every difficult and good part of this relationship is more exciting that all the porn in the world. It feels fantastic.

I thought that all of this was just luck, coincidence. But I'm sure I couldn't have got here with porn on my back and in my head. I never believed in the "superpowers" of Nofap people. But NoFap helped see a bigger picture here, an important change in my mindset. I'm seeing a life ready to be enjoyed and I'm very excited about going through it. There is just no space for porn.

If 90 days ago you would have told me I would have all this today...I would have said it was simply impossible. It's not.

I really hope everyone can overcome this addiction, at least for some good time. Enough to let them see what's above the clouds. The sun is shining brighter than ever and once you see it going back to the dark will feel unnatural, fake and tiresome.

Nothing beats the real thing.

This is just a small piece of a huge process but maybe it helps someone.
Thanks guys for all the support as usual, @TheSpaniardDude @MrGeonov I trust and admire you guys, thanks for every kind and useful words you said. I'm sure amazing days are coming.
Click to expand...

The way you wrote each sentence it felt connected and just flowed very pleasantly and fluently. Think you should be a writer or something man. I always say that it's not about the days, it's the attitude towards life that we acquire from this that's what matters and I know most of the people agree on this and you certainly have that attitude now. Wonderful job on the streak though, I was just like you when I reached my 90 days . Stay vigilant buddy don't let anything distract you from this beautiful life. Just keep on moving day by day, you will eventually reach the top.

Pyara31, May 29, 2018

Pyara31, May 29, 2018

#135
May 29, 2018 #136

Phils_gunna_win Fapstronaut

40

24

18

What a great inspiring post well done!

Phils_gunna_win, May 29, 2018

Phils_gunna_win, May 29, 2018

#136
May 29, 2018 #137

thel00ker Fapstronaut

482

1,216

123

DashyRicky said: ↑

The way you wrote each sentence it felt connected and just flowed very pleasantly and fluently. Think you should be a writer or something man. I always say that it's not about the days, it's the attitude towards life that we acquire from this that's what matters and I know most of the people agree on this and you certainly have that attitude now. Wonderful job on the streak though, I was just like you when I reached my 90 days . Stay vigilant buddy don't let anything distract you from this beautiful life. Just keep on moving day by day, you will eventually reach the top.
Click to expand...

Thanks man really appreciated! I'm glad you could connect with the post that was my main goal, for people to feel identified and feel inspired to keep on fighting.
Had a relapse myself some days ago, but i'm still here to fight the fight! good luck wish you the best!

thel00ker, May 29, 2018

thel00ker, May 29, 2018

#137
May 31, 2018 #138

Puny New Fapstronaut

3

2

3

Thank you for this lovely post, you have given me hope.

Puny, May 31, 2018

Puny, May 31, 2018

#138

HE^MAN likes this.
Jun 3, 2018 #139

Heavenishere Fapstronaut

8

14

3

A

thel00ker said: ↑

Well, I've reached 90 days, for the first time in my life I have been porn-free for 3 months.
I apologize in advance for the long post, but it's about how my mind and values changed thanks to the reboot. Maybe some of you can relate and be inspired to follow the same path. It's worth it.
I think that there are tons of things that helped me get here many of those were explained here:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...d-the-improvements-so-far-ed-progress.130334/

But the main thing were the countless reboots and relapses I had before attempting this one. With each relapse I was shown the seriousness of the circumstances and I started to truly understand how I replaced each anxiety and problem from my life with porn. Porn was a magic pill that I took each time something hurt or bothered me, and I have to admit, in that moment it felt great, but each time I finished PMO'ing I felt destroyed, reality hit me in the face each time this happened, each time harder that the previous one. I had to do something.

I thought that in order to fix my life I had to attack and fix every problem that was bothering me and I did. I made a list with certain goals, started working on my body, on making new good friends, on studying hard and working hard. I became confident with my own body and personality and this got me closer to amazing people which today I can call good friends.

Even though I had straightened out a lot and was actually happy about most things in my life there was something missing. I lacked connection, intimate connection with someone else, a partner with whom I could just relax and watch tv, talk, laugh and even have dark or sad moments. That was my goal.

I thought this kind of connection with someone else was impossible. I remember going out with couples and thinking, "i'm years away from this" "I'll never find someone like this", even "why would anyone consider going out with me". Even though I had a lot of confidence in many things about my life, relationships was the subject I knew I would fail again and again, forever. I didn't have enough experience, I didn't have anything to offer, I didn't actually like anyone, I didn't feel attracted to anyone sexually. I was just numb to the idea that I could share intimacy with someone else, ever.

I felt stressed and anxious all day long, thoughts filling my head like a storm. My life was filled with problems I couldn't fix and porn was in the middle holding everything together. Deadlines, objectives, conflict, failure.

Before the reboot it was all about sex. My mind was crowded with thoughts all day long.."should I masturbate??" "Is that girl hot?" "Is that guy hot?" "I have nothing to offer". "I'm horny" "I feel nothing" "I should be doing this" "I failed to do that" etc etc (very tiring chain of thoughts)
All of this accompanied by a total lack of attraction towards anyone. I was completely blocked, emotionally and physically. My head was very active, with very sexual thoughts that turned me on, but nothing real turned me on. Maybe I saw some guy or girl that took my head towards a porn scene, and then turned me on, but nothing was directly affecting me.
Porn was my only sexual release, my only connection with other people sexually (skype) and my only place for intimacy. Every real, intimate thing that happened in my life, happened through a computer. And this of course made me feel like shit. This didn't belonged with the person I wanted to be and I was very ashamed by it. So a new reboot started.

From day 1 onwards I just observed my thoughts and didn't expect anything. I just let my head heal on its own. On the meantime I used every tip and trick learned on nofap to avoid falling back into porn and slowly but surely I started seeing changes. Most of them I cover them on my 60 day post but the main one was to feel clarity, a brain fog lifting. The heavy thoughts dissapearing. I could see all my anxiety producing thoughts and problems, lined up one next to the other. They were easy to understand and didn't cause as much anxiety as before.

I started feeling comfortable with who I was, with my body, my personality, my abilities, my achievements and failures. My life started being "ok", no more pressure to achieve this or that, no more extreme deadlines that would cause anxiety. I just started living and most importantly enjoying.
I started having a lot of fun when I went out with friends (No more tiring thoughts when I went out) social anxiety faded, I was just there to enjoy the night with friends and that was it. No more "you should hit on some girl" "are you having fun??" "your friends are hitting on girls, what about you??".
These obligations that I had in my head disappeared and in the end I started getting close to a lot of people that I wouldn't have otherwise due to being scared of failure to make contact or fear of rejection. I started to really have fun with friends, like never before in my entire life.

My preconceptions about sex, relationships in general, changed. Sex became secondary, a part of a good relationship but certainly not the core of it. I attribute this change specially to hanging out with good healthy couples. Just hanging out with them proved me the importance of sharing life with someone else. Life gets amplified.

I also realized that I didn't need to make an effort to attract people, just being myself and being proud and passionate about the things I loved will attract equally passionate people with whom I have amazingly fun times sharing and enjoying the world we live in. I don't need to be a certain way to attract people, I already am that way.

As the days kept going, I felt closer and more connected with everyone around me. I felt more in tune with society in general. I was more aware of my defects, but excited about improving myself. I stopped identifying myself with the "porn addict' secret label that I always carried and this was very liberating. I was just like everybody else and had the same chances to improve and have a good, valuable life. The porn issue was already dealt with, now it was the time to improve on everything else.

I really felt like my mind was clear, without preconceptions, without extreme objectives, I was here to enjoy life and live it passionately. I did everything with as much enthusiasm and effort as I could. Study, work, friends, body. No pressure to achieve, just the idea of enjoying each thing and making the most of it.

In the middle of all of this, my cousin introduced me to a girl. On our first date we went go to a museum, walk through the city, smoke a joint on the park, eat something and then went out for a beer. I had never felt so relaxed with someone else. Of course anxiety creeped out on me eventually and made me question everything about her. But throughout all these days, the most important thing that I learned was to trust my gut, relax and enjoy. And that's what I'm doing right now.
Through these last 3 weeks, I saw this girl almost every day, I think about her continuously, we hang out, watch tv, eat stuff together, laugh and I even cried about some stuff. I just enjoy hugging her in bed, waking up next to her, hearing her laugh at my stupid jokes. I don't know if it's love or what, but I'm just letting it be and enjoying every part of it. Going through every difficult and good part of this relationship is more exciting that all the porn in the world. It feels fantastic.

I thought that all of this was just luck, coincidence. But I'm sure I couldn't have got here with porn on my back and in my head. I never believed in the "superpowers" of Nofap people. But NoFap helped see a bigger picture here, an important change in my mindset. I'm seeing a life ready to be enjoyed and I'm very excited about going through it. There is just no space for porn.

If 90 days ago you would have told me I would have all this today...I would have said it was simply impossible. It's not.

I really hope everyone can overcome this addiction, at least for some good time. Enough to let them see what's above the clouds. The sun is shining brighter than ever and once you see it going back to the dark will feel unnatural, fake and tiresome.

Nothing beats the real thing.

This is just a small piece of a huge process but maybe it helps someone.
Thanks guys for all the support as usual, @TheSpaniardDude @MrGeonov I trust and admire you guys, thanks for every kind and useful words you said. I'm sure amazing days are coming.
Click to expand...

Awesome story man I feel like I reading my own story... Really inspiring... I bookmark this...and congratulations for 90 days NoFap...

Heavenishere, Jun 3, 2018

Heavenishere, Jun 3, 2018

#139

thel00ker likes this.
Jun 3, 2018 #140

HE^MAN Distinguished Fapstronaut

1,176

7,693

143

My Journal

Inspired just enjoy the life

HE^MAN, Jun 3, 2018

HE^MAN, Jun 3, 2018

#140

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