Addicts on NoFap Using SOs as Punching Bags

I know this represents a very small group of addicts on NoFap, but the few that there are really disrupt threads and cause pain. I think it’s one thing to argue a point, and to call someone out on behavior that is not okay, particularly denial and blaming behavior. But there are some on here that just take jabs at SOs out of nowhere that are totally irrelevant to the thread and then when I or the person being attacked responds, blames us for disrupting the thread. I understand much of this is attention seeking as it drives them nuts if you do not respond or pay attention to them. Another part is that they are not actually attacking us, but they are attacking the idea of us, because they do not want to accept what “we” stand for. Pain that they have caused to their own SOs, women that have rejected or ignored them, their need to confront their addiction and all of their insecurities. That being said, what does everything think is the best way to handle these individuals? Ignoring them seems to just make them continue posting. I like that the admins are pretty good at shutting these people down when they act up, but not always early enough to nip it in the bud. I have had this happen to me three times in the last week alone.

 

Thanks all. This would be my approach as well but sometimes I’m concerned the because they are seeking attention that the person makes things worse. But if we don’t engage then by the time the post is down the damage may already be done really an SO in a state of crisis I know I was there awhile back and it definitely made me feel bette when others spoke up for me when maybe I was not strong enough to do so. When you have an addict already gas lighting you that you are to blame at home and then you are being told that on NoFap a place you came for support that can be very damaging. And we have some strong SOs and ex SOs as well as addicts who are our allies that will stand up and say no that know it’s not the SOs fault but there are just as many SOs if not more quietly reading the threads and those are the ones that I am concerned for. Thanks again.

 

I think the type of thing that I am speaking of boils down to one thing, intent. Often it’s hard to see it right away, but it usually makes itself clear as the posts go on. For example we as SO’s provide unpopular opinions or advice to PMO addicts, as well many PMO addicts gave me advice I may not have liked to hear or wanted to hear, but needed to hear, and the same goes for PMO addicts to PMO addicts and SO’s to SOs. But no ones intention there is to hurt the other person. Rather it is to try to get that person to see a different point of view. That can go off track no doubt but the intent that is there is genuine. What I am speaking of is members who attack other members personally, often not even on a thread that person has started, for the primary purpose of hurting that person because of anger, pain or issues the attacker has that have nothing to do with that person. You will usually see this take the form of a personal attack, not an attack on an argument and opinion. Then when the attacked responds or others do in their defense, the attacker pushes the blame back on the attacked and the defenders. And yes an individual can block that person. But they cannot stop that person from disrupting the thread unless every person blocks them. I personally have had several PMO addicts on here that jump on every single thread I post on and personally attack me. Some have been suspended others have not.