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Back to Square One | 2 Months Later

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by persevereuntildeath, Jul 8, 2018.

  1. Jul 8, 2018 #1
    persevereuntildeath

    persevereuntildeath Fapstronaut

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    So I was running pretty strong approaching the two month mark and then I gave up control. Beginning a few days ago, I noticed myself looking at sensual content on twitter and youtube-- this was a big mistake! Yesterday, my mind started to wander into the realm of porn, starting with googling pornstar names. Before I knew it I was looking to see if there was any new content published in my favorite genres. After some hours of deliberation I clicked a link, just to see what it was about, and it was over. Today I gave in, PMO session after 58 days of being clean.

    This was my longest streak so far. Right before this failure, I hit a period of heavy anxiety, which transitioned into a flatline with anhedonia. Following this agitated stated was a period of intense craving for porn. I believe this was a very devious part of the PAWS syndrome, something I thought I was prepared for, yet I didn't expect it to be so strong.

    Note to my future self: "Stay vigilant as if Day 60 is Day 1."
     
    persevereuntildeath, Jul 8, 2018
    persevereuntildeath, Jul 8, 2018
    #1
  2. Jul 8, 2018 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    SAME! We are practically on the same boat. I'm glad that you're staying positive!
     
    Deleted Account, Jul 8, 2018
    Deleted Account, Jul 8, 2018
    #2
    EricGate1996 likes this.
  3. Jul 8, 2018 #3
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    58 days is amazing, my man! Don’t focus so much on the reset...focus on what a awesome job you did to battle this far! You should be proud of yourself...for your previous streak as well as the fact that you are already dusting yourself off and looking onwards to 60!
     
    Deleted Account, Jul 8, 2018
    Deleted Account, Jul 8, 2018
    #3
  4. Jul 12, 2018 #4
    persevereuntildeath

    persevereuntildeath Fapstronaut

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    How do we persuade ourselves, I mean the lustful part of our psyche and body, that porn isn't worth the temporary pleasure? My reasonable mind and my very vitality say to the addiction, "this is a dangerous practice", yet I still commit PMO. I say to this disease of the mind and canker of the flesh, die you meddlesome worm! Leave me and all these suffering NOFAPPERS in peace.
     
    persevereuntildeath, Jul 12, 2018
    persevereuntildeath, Jul 12, 2018
    #4
  5. Jul 12, 2018 #5
    Health is key

    Health is key Fapstronaut

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    Bro, Download leechblock and k9 blockers. Leechblock allows your to block certain words but this only works on google chrome and k9 allowed me to block other browsers. Twitter is a porn haven and after blocking every porn site I still found myself on twitter following pornstars I like to see if any new videos were out. Get off Twitter. It will make you slip up. It is porn infested.
     
    Health is key, Jul 12, 2018
    Health is key, Jul 12, 2018
    #5
    persevereuntildeath likes this.
  6. Jul 12, 2018 #6
    Health is key

    Health is key Fapstronaut

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    Will power was not enough for me. Like I said Block every bit if porn you can. I created emails with randomised passwords I won't remember and set up porn blockers, put youtube on restriction mode, and blocked twitter. ALl password protected. Also put restriction on my phone. Sooner or later I would always slip up. I would always rationalise taking a peak. You got to cut it out entirely and that's the only way I could do it. Also had to remove all lotions from my house.
     
    Health is key, Jul 12, 2018
    Health is key, Jul 12, 2018
    #6
    persevereuntildeath likes this.

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