[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

I first thought would do the 365 day challenge but figured 90 days is more realistic. I really need a reset. Shits gone crazy! Indulging in everything possible sexually. I am scared of my behavior especially once i am drunk. I am open to anything and porn has been a constant. I feel weak and tired with all the PMO since the past 11 -12 yrs.

DAY 0/90.

God Protect us all!

 

Day 4/90 I didn't post anything yesterday. It was a really great day though. I got to meet with my mentor in recovery from sex addiction. I did a disclosure with him. I also had a good day at work. I went to a 12 step meeting as well at the end of the night. Then I came home and did some journaling and other homework. I did have some thoughts of acting out, but I didn't want to act on those thoughts. That's all they are is thoughts. It helps when I have people I can trust to talk to and to tell on myself so I'm not alone with those thoughts. It takes the power from them. Have great day everyone!

 

Keep coming back! It gets better!

 

The beginning : DAY 1/90 Let's GO !

 

14th day!

 

Thanks, that does help. I am strengthening my resolve and remembering why I started this journey in the first place... To become a better man, one who deals with his emotions and does not use porn to suppress them and feel better in the moment. I am also hoping that my relationship with my SO can become stronger and more honest too.

 

Thanks, I think I need to keep present in my mind *why* I am doing this...
* To become a better person
* To become more emotionally aware
* To become a better husband
* To become the best I can be...

I was feeling very down after my last relapse; went for a long walk to clear my head... I need to fight the urges which are telling my thinking mind that I can not control it; that it doesn't matter if I don't get caught etc. That it will make me feel better... These are all lies; I know this I need to fight to strengthen my neural pathways that enforce the positive behaviours and not allow those pathways which I have allowed to develop to win...

The strength and power to win over this is within me; and I WILL win!

 

Many thanks; I have added this to a private playlist of mine so I can get back to it quickly!

 

Well, I drank last night and had a relapse, back to 0/90. I'm going to have to be much more vigilant about things like drinking otherwise it's going to be to easy to slip.

 

18 down and 72 remaining.

 

Day 1 complete and starting day 2 now. Thanks for keeping me accountable

 

Did 11 day streak yesterday.relapsed 0 day today..I knew my mistakes now.i won't do it again..

 

Join again 0/90
This time I believe I can do this

 

bad day today. withdrawal symphoms are hitting hard, i felt irritated and numb all day long . luckly no urges appeared

 

Day 25/90 it's been a busy at work, still having quite a bit of fantasies about sex but nothing leading to urges, thank God. Planning on going to the beach this weekend, hopefully will not be tempted to stare.

 

41.

 

Day 4 complete. Regretful/lustful thoughts are starting to seep in. I know that’s just my brain trying to get me to relapse. Just got to a meeting.

 

Day 4 today doing some deep thinking about what my goals are in life and how can I improve my self to be the best I can I feel very emotional today because of some personal issues and it's really effecting my nofap journey but I must continue strong -day 4-

 

Again 0/90