SEXUAL BANK ACCOUNT

Yes, I do, and the analogy is perfect. I am still in debt and need to save more sexual currency.

 

Any tips? Im struggling

 

CAPS!

 

I agree however there will be a point (say 150 - 300 days no pmo) where you are sort of permanently healed.

Sex isn't bad, it's pornography that's bad

 

Yeah, I'm a bit skeptical at this point. Given my current streak, and the fact that prior to that I had 59 days before that, I'm pretty certain that if this were the case, there is something deeply wrong with me. Added to this the fact that I didn't ejaculate at all until I was 21, or masturbate until I was 22, I'm call shennannygoats.

But hey, let's go poke some holes in your balloons:

I'n forgive the typographical error, but say no - I feel less confident now than when I was PMO'ing (which is saying something). Clearly confidence is my big issue, but long-term, I haven't found NoFap to help. Whether it hinders is still out.

No. I'm still the same anxious paranoid motherfucker I was on PMO.

Possibly. I get by on less sleep each night, and don't have a problem going to the gym most days, but that's more a case of psychological drive than physical energy.

NO! NO! NO! This is the biggest piece of horseshit, and the most prevalent phalacy (intended) of NoFap. I am still the same invisible non-Male I was on PMO (or pre-PMO, or pre-O). I can't deny that, for most men, this seems to be a real area of growth for them, and that's great. I'm not most men. To women I simple don't exist, and before you say "put yourself out there", that's not what you're claiming. You claiming, and let me quote it again to be sure....

... Yeah, I got the quote right...

It's a broad term granted, but by it, females (Of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) which can be fertilized by male gametes.), should be attracted (The action or power of evoking interest in or liking for someone or something) to me. Ninety-something days of baby-batter in my balls and... nothing. No, seriously, nothing. Not a hand a shoulder. Not an extended conversation. Not a lingering stare. Zip. Nada. Zero-point-zero-zero.

No. Granted, I've grown a beard during this time, but despite that I can see more acne on me now than I've had at any time since my teens. Before we start considering diet, mine has actually improved since NoFap. There might be some testosterone involved, but if that were the case, wouldn't something else balance it out.

No, skin hasn't improved.

Maybe. I couldn't really say either way. I didn't bother cutting my hair for years, although I shaved every two days. I've changed things up, getting a hair cut every 8-12 weeks and not bothering to shave since early May. Aside from looking like Hooper in Jaws, I can't really see how it works either way. Not no, but certainly not yes either.

Brain fog was never really an issue for me to begin with. As a pretty cerebral guy surrounded by people who at times have issues getting their shit together, I've always had to be the switched-on one. I was quick with the wordplay and insight, and was organising things from weeks out. This was while I was still filling tissues like nobodies business. There was a point after I started going to the gym that I was becoming less cogent at times, so whether it was the exercise or the NoFap, I actually had brain fog.

Highly debatable. What's the point of being a great conversationalist if no one wants to talk to you? I could probably point to a slight improvement in my ability to start and maintain conversations, but nothing mind-blowing. I can also point to a slight improvement in my physical strength and fitness, but I'm not going to go back to parkour and humiliate myself again based on that.

Maybe, but gains aren't worth noting.

Again, this wasn't an issue beforehand. I had pretty good recall at the worst of times, so me being able to remember things now only results in me remembering all the pain and rejection I've experienced, and the falsehoods I've been sold throughout my life.

More driven to do what, exactly? Succeed? Yeah, that's not going to happen. Improve myself? But aren't I supposed to be great as I am already? Continue with NoFap? Yeah, but that's not really up for debate. To get out of bed an 0330 and go to the gym? I'm doing that with a simple endgoal - BE HOT! I've spent long enough buying into the whole scam that women just want you to be yourself - if they wanted me to be myself, I wouldn't have turned to porn to begin with. My goal is, by October 2019, to have a body that a majority of cis-het women would find not just 'hot', but hot enough that they want to do something about it.

Beyond that, I'm feeling increasingly driven to do one other thing - although discussion of my plans for end-of-life is not something I want to get into here.

Any strength I've gained whilst on NoFap has come from me showing up to the gym 6 days a week, not from abstinence.

*****

So, in short, it's great that these things are working for so many guys, but I'd like to respond with what it hasn't done for me. Maybe my purpose in life is simply to serve as an example of other of what not to do. Am I going to quit? I've been tempted, but the experiment is still ongoing. Am I angry? Fuck yes! Angrier than I ever was with PMO.

Stay strong, stay focused, just don't be surprised if you find you've sold a (proverbial) empty sack.

 

I like the metaphor. Do you think, however, that More Female Attraction is something that is a benefit or a risk in this case? It is actually quite similar to the actual bank account. (no offense, women are by nature drawn to more resources to secure them for the family)

 

I guess that's a decision each guy has to come to on his own. Were it true, in my case, I'd welcome it gladly as a sign I was doing something (anything) right.

 

But you already are doing something right. You just have to realize it and be proud (in a good way) about the progress you have achieved; about the bravery in you that sets you apart from countless of men who would never dare to set out for the path you have chosen; about the resilience in you with which you rise again after falling. Is the path you have chosen tough? Yes, it is Do not put yourself down. You are great, the way you are just now. No need to hope and wait for external approval of greatness. Not from other people, not from parents, and especially not from girls. That's your key.

 

That is very kind of you to say, but at present I'm feeling a whole lot less than I have in a long time. I'll acknowledge I felt like crap under PMO, but I felt like crap before PMO too, so, as I've tried to elucidate elsewhere, I guess feeling like crap is my default state. When I was in my late teens/early twenties, the few people I admitted to that I didn't masturbate made me almost feel like an object of derision. Keep in mind, my not masturbating at that point wasn't a choice - I was simply so highly-strung that the attempts I made had no effect. I had dirty magazines, which were nice from an aesthetic point of view, and let me know what a woman looked like, but I wasn't jerking to them. Same with sex. My first girlfriend never got me off, and my second girlfriend only did so after months of work on her part.

As for seeking external signs of approval; if I don't seek an external source, then I'll just either be lying to myself, or demanding impossibly high standards. (I admit to clearly being the latter) I have benchmarks for success in life, in my life, and after consulting with people I trust, I know they're not 'impossible' (I won't manifest superpowers, or even the 'superpowers' NoFappers discuss here), but they are high. What happens if I were to aim lower? I'll direct the Court's attention to my previous romantic encounters as Evidence Items A through E.

Er... That's reassuring... What do Brad Pitt and I have in common? The same first name and the fact that we're both ectomorphs?