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Former Atheist Struggling with Faith

For Fapstronauts who are disciples of Christ

  1. Newman5678

    Newman5678 Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys,
    I am a former Atheist, it started during college as it does for many. In college I met many people who questioned religion and whether through peer pressure or some rebellious act, I ended up becoming an Atheist.

    Recently however, the Atheist lifestyle has proven to be Nihilist and empty; and now I struggle with that form of hollow life. I have been trying to re-explore religion. I see how happier, more communal and generally better grounded many Christians tend to be; and I want to be a part of that. I want to feel part of my community as a whole, and to have meaning and purpose that I've lost through lack of faith.

    Part of my vice is porn. I've turned to other unsavoury methods of trying to fill the void in my life, and porn is one of them.

    I was looking to know how you guys use your faith to help you through this porn struggle and how I might find faith to help me.

    Many Thanks for any advice.
     
  2. Jason_Tesla_19

    Jason_Tesla_19 Fapstronaut

    I'm also an atheist, who lost faith in college. I was a STEM major, and the rational brain supposedly competes with the religious brain. Faith and rationality are basically mutually exclusive; the stronger one is, the weaker the other.

    I completely understand the lack of purpose and meaning as an atheist. Religion tends to give people purpose and meaning, and a strong community. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. For the most part, I don't live "like the world", but I don't have faith to make me part of a church. It's like I'm stuck between worlds. I wish I could make myself believe, but I can't. I want to belong and be part of a church. When I lost my faith, I tried to pretend and force myself to believe as long as I could, until I finally had to admit to myself I lost my faith, because pretending was causing cognitive dissonance for me.

    Besides the simple genetic purpose of life of be born, reproduce, and die, atheists simply have to decide what purpose and meaning they want their life to have. Your life is what you make of it. Instead of being told some comforting stuff about some higher power having a plan for you and adopting you into their family and you being a child of a king, you have the responsibility of deciding/discovering your own purpose. Rather than seeking forgiveness from a higher power for mistakes and having them remove guilt and shame for you, you have to really learn to forgive yourself and love yourself, and overcome guilt and shame for your past on your own. It's not easy.
     
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  3. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    I'm an atheist too, but there are so many journals here from people whose faith is a cornerstone of their struggle to resist porn. Many of these are truly inspiring, here are five that leap to mind (and sorry to the scores of Christian friends with amazing journals here I have left out!)
    Good luck. I hope you find the support you need here, with or without a faith.
     
  4. Newman5678

    Newman5678 Fapstronaut

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    I can completely relate to what you are saying there; I find the Nihilism difficult to deal with, but at the same time, I just can't make myself believe - there's just no on/off switch for it.

    I guess in many senses I still envy the peace of mind I see religious people with, but hopefully I can find my own meaning and purpose to help me with my vices. Thanks for your comment.
     
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  5. Newman5678

    Newman5678 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much for the resources, hopefully I will find what I need here to help.
     
  6. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Let me add @TryingHard2Change's journal (here) too. His journal will be interesting for you as he talks about the formal support structures he values within his church.
     
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  7. Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    We all lack faith. In the Gospel Thomas would not believe that Jesus was indeed resurrected even though He was standing in front of Him. Then Jesus said happy is he who believes without seeing.

    Then Paul will write later in his letters that we live by faith and not by sight.

    Now you are dead on in seeing that atheism leads to nihilism. a bunch of atoms have no purpose whatsoever.
    Actually all those philosophical discussions are not new. People were already talking about this during Aristotle's time...

    What is the Christian faith ?
    It is the claim that God has spoken. He did so many times and then He spoke through his son Jesus Christ, God himself in the flesh.
    What God spoke about pertains to our salvation an Jesus gave authority to the disciple to write to us an inspired account of what happened exactly 2000 years ago (soon)
    The Gospel (that is the message) is this: that human are very sinful (this scarcely need to be proven, just look around), God is Holy (he is perfection), holy and sin do not mix together (like A and non-A cannot be true at the same time), thus if we ever will enter God's presence we need to be cleansed from all unrighteousness. Jesus provides us with His righteousness as an legal exchange. he takes on our sins (on the cross) and he gives us his perfection so that we are by imputation made holy.

    It does not stop there, after being saved by grace that we hold on to by faith, God will make all his true children holier everyday in a process of sanctification.

    Now what about doubt. Doubt is a feeling, it comes and goes. But the word of God which he has spoken is truth and remains forever. We better take our confidence in what God has said rather than our feelings.
    Now I concede doubt has an intellectual component so it is not that easy.. Yet I think that God's existence in plain in nature, and philosophically and historically there are many good arguments that shows that Christianity is true.

    My favorite ones are:
    the case for the resurrection
    fulfilled prophecy (very powerful yet not used a lot sadly)
    the digital argument
    the Bible is coherent

    I will pray for you even if I do not know your name. I am a former agnostic. God bless
     
  8. Newman5678

    Newman5678 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the detailed response, there's a lot of good advice in there and it's great to hear your perspective. Hopefully like you say, faith will help sancitify me and others who try to overcome our problems.

    God Bless
     
    fr334all likes this.
  9. Hi Newman, Jason, and Kropo,

    I am a very left-brained, analytical and logical person. I understand your struggles with faith; I have been there. For a long time, I struggled with the idea of God. I would not say that faith and rationality are mutually exclusive; they are not. But for people who are left-brain dominant, developing faith can be a struggle at first.

    I once heard someone say that no logical arguments will ever convince you of the existence of God. What will convince you of the existence of God is an experience of God. I can personally attest to this. Despite my initial stuggle, God has made it abundantly clear to me that not only does he exist, but he is listening to every word I say or think, even before I think it. At this point in my life, I do not believe God exists… I KNOW God exists.

    I think all of you have a part of you that believes in God or at least wants to believe in God (otherwise you would not be in this forum). Unfortunately, that part of your brain rarely gets to speak because the dominant anaylical left-brain part of you does most of the talking (at least that is how it was with me). So how do you go from doubting to having faith? Here is what I did. I acknowledged that part of me believed/or wanted to believe. I then had a conversation with God. I then told him that for next three months (or six months…I don’t remember exactly what length of time I agreed to) I was going to listen to the part of me that believed. I would let that part of my brain have its say. And, if the rational, logical part of my brain needed something to occupy its time, it could look for rational, logical arguments for the existence of God (rather than constantly arguing against his existence). I then asked God for help. In other words, it was the classic line “Lord, I do believe, help my unbelief”.

    That act of faith, as small as it was, seemed to be all the God required from me. Over the following eight or nine months, God proved to me that he exists. In fact, within a year I had completely stopped doubting. The relationship has only grown stronger since.

    So, my advice to you is to acknowledge the part of you that believes/or wants to believe. Then ask God for help with your unbelief.

    Good luck and God bless you,

    I will pray for you.

    Pace e Bene!
     
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  10. Newman5678

    Newman5678 Fapstronaut

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    I can relate to a lot of what you have said here; I do indeed recognise that there has always been a part of me that believed, even when I had declared myself a hardline Atheist I could never shake the feeling that there was something more. I kept telling myself that "it's just not logical or rational", just like the Sam Harris' and Ricard Dawkins had told me.

    Recently though, I have tried opening my mind, and as you suggest, I have acknowledged that to some degree I have always believed.

    Sadly, I can't say I have had an experience with God yet, but I certainly hope to. I have made efforts to re-read the Bible, pray and generally follow Christian values and morals; so maybe I will soon experience what I see others such as yourself experience.

    Thank You for your advice. God Bless
     
  11. Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    There is a lot of truth in this since it is the Spirit of God who gives life. Yet arguments for God or evidences I think can help one ponder and maybe break some barriers.
     
  12. Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    Brother, if you need help in your walk with God I would be honored to offer it
     
    Newman5678 likes this.
  13. Thanks for the mention.

    My faith is complicated. To some Christians my views are heretical but it's where I am on my journey. Sometimes I question God's existence and many of the things in the Bible seem bizarre to me. I used to be a real fundamentalist Christian but in about the last few years my faith has involved into a more progressing faith. I'm still figuring it out and learning. Three people who have helped keep hold of some sort of faith have been Rachel Held Evans, Rob Bell and Pete Enns. Maybe they'll help you too. I'll post a short video by each of them so you'll get what they'll all about.

    In all honesty, it can be a double-edged sword. Certain passages of scripture do not help at all. I find some verses in books like 1 Corinthians and Hebrews to bring more shame and if you know anything about addiction you know that shame keeps you in addiction. But other verses about forgiveness and grace give me hope. I find the line in The Lord's Prayer, 'forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us' to be comforting because it reminds me I will be forgiven if I forgive others. The first part of The Serenity Prayer is helpful as well. I should add that scientific research seems to suggest that prayer is good for our mental health so I try to pray every day.

    One book you might want to read is On Purpose by Michael Ruse. I haven't read it but he's one of my favourite atheists and love listening to him in debates. What I like about him he's always respectful in disagreement with Christians and can see why people believe but it just doesn't work for him. His book might help you in this regard.

    Anyway he's the videos I said I would post:






     
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  14. Newman5678

    Newman5678 Fapstronaut

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    Absolutely, anything you can advise would be welcomed.
     
  15. mountainman55

    mountainman55 Fapstronaut

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    For me, the Christian message means that my life is not for me. It means that I find myself (ie. find what I need) when I start caring about others as much as me. For me, part of this means learning to have self control.

    Here's something from the Bible that has inspired me about this:
    "Learn how to take charge over your own body, maintaining purity and honor. Don’t let the swells of lustful passion run your life as they do the outsiders who don’t know God" 1 Thessalonians 4:4-5

    Basically what these verses mean to me is that I should use everything I have to build relationship, not to just get what I want. It says learn how to "control your own body". Learn how to live in "honor". Learn how to live by something more than just hormones.

    At the end of that passage, things are compared to people who don't know God. Personally, I don't think it's meant to be a slam on non-christians or nonreligious people, but rather, it's saying that God loves you, cares for you, and gives you all you need to learn how to do the right thing, and because of that, you can choose to do the right thing, learning to grow as a person, even if it costs you something or is hard. It can give you courage to put others first, and put relationship first, rather than yourself, because you know you know that someone is looking out for you. This is a very personal message that comes from the belief that God is good, loves you, and cares for you as a person. That's the message I believe is shown in the Bible and in Jesus.

    Here's some Christian resources on the topic that I've really liked if you acer curious about more writing along this line of though: https://moralrevolution.com/hot-topics/?Type=all-types

    Feel free to message me if you want, and I hope for the best on your journey!
     
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  16. Newman5678

    Newman5678 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the very detailed response and the resources, it's all very helpful. I'll try your advice on praying everyday, I do occassionally pray, but perhaps making a greater effort to connect to God will help me improve.
     
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  17. Newman5678

    Newman5678 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, I think I'm starting to understand where everyone is comping from here; the important message seems to understand that God loves us and a true connection with him will help with us on our journey to getting over our problems. A deeper connection seems to help us live by his way and keep us pure and from sin.
     
  18. Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    Really ? what about
    Hebrews 12:1-2
    Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

    Isn't that a formidable passage ?

    Such assurance !

    Now I want to just give you some warnings not to make anything but the Bible you primary and final authority on all matters. I understand where you are coming from (I follow Biologos myself), but you should not go too far. For your own sake
     
  19. mountainman55

    mountainman55 Fapstronaut

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    That's awesome. Along those lines, it's pretty common knowledge the the Jesus says that people should believe in Him. In the original greek, the word that's translated as "believe" can also be translated as "trust". (ie. John 3:16 - https://biblehub.com/greek/4100.htm) To me, this is a much more meaningful translation than believe. The message of the Bible is not only that God exists, but that I can also trust Him. In my experience, that second part is life changing.

    Hope that this is encouraging!
     
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  20. Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    It is pretty complex to understand because it requires scientific knowledge.
    But you can try this out
     

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