From depression to succession.

Honestly can't believe I am writing this right now. I saw so many examples of guys talking about the benefits but something in the back of my head always said "that was just a coincidence", or "that will never be me". Even though I had my doubts I still find so much inspiration hearing everyones unique stories, but I have a hard time reading long ones so I will keep this detailed but short as I can.

Been watching porn for over 10 years and I have spent YEARS trying to break my addiction to PMO. Been a roller coaster ride, since 2016 I have never made a streak of more than a week or so. During that time I was so unmotivated, dead, drained, depressed, clueless, sluggish ect. I lost the girl that I was in love with because of my terrible mistakes and although I have been recovering I may never be able to fix what I broke and I blame PMO for all of that. I was PMOing so often (3x a day) that I begun to stop seeing my gf attractive anymore because my brain was so damaged from porn. Then after we broke up my addiction got 10x worse. Now that I have beaten my addiction I look back and realize that she is the most beautiful thing on this earth and although I may or may not have a chance with her again I know that I can only improve my life from today forward and keep my head up for new opportunities. I wanted to share this with you because I was in a deep dark place and want to remind everyone that if you want to stop killing yourself you have to start today!

Well on to the good news! I finally made it to my 30 day mark not long ago and begun to start seeing all the benefits everyone talks about! Throughout the streak I made it clear to myself that I was also not going to have sex unless it was such a perfect situation that I couldn't turn it down and well turns out its exactly what happened!

I was really skeptical about the woman attraction part that everyone talks about because I did not see much results in that field for the first month but that changed! It was around day 45 and I had to go to DMV, while I was standing in line I noticed a girl that was about 20 people behind me that I went to elementary school with decades ago! My old self would have just kept my headphones in and acted like it never happened but the new me felt the need to at least go say hi to her. I conveniently stepped out of line to use the restroom so that I would pass right by and her and sure enough the second she saw me, she smiled and we both said our hellos and then I carried on. After we got our tickets and were waiting to be called she came right up to me and couldn't wait to talk to me! I usually would have had to chase her back down to talk to her but not this time. For the first time in a long time it seemed like she was just as into me as I was her. (She was about a 8/10 so very pretty)

Fast forward a little bit and we ended up talking for 4 HOURS! 4 hours bro! The woman attraction brought her to me but the confidence and eye contact I was able to have did the rest! It seemed like I never ran out of stuff to say and she was interested in it all! I got her number and we hung out the very next weekend, went on a really fun date which for the first time a date like that felt really authentic because I felt like I was in the moment the whole time. We connected the whole time and even when I would say something awkward I would play it off and not let it bother me and continue to enjoy the night. Seemed like she couldn't wait to get back to my house and well you guessed it we had some great sex that night! She did everything I wanted her to in bed and man it was a great REAL orgasm I had for the first time in years since my gf and I broke up.

I know theres a whole list of other benefits that go along with nofap but I wanted to share this specific story because it was the first thing that finally got my mind of off my ex gf that I have been depressed over since 2016. I went 2 years of a depressing PMO addiction and literally within 45 days of Nofap I have a great experience with a new girl and started to see that there is more to life than wishing I could change the past. I will never know what would have happened if I went to DMV that day while still in the middle of PMOing, the date may have went bad, maybe I wouldn't even of been able to get her number, heck maybe I would have saw her but wouldn't of had the guts to say anything to begin with. Who knows! but I am happy to say I will continue Nofap for more results! Thanks for reading my story!

Edit: my counter is my days of retention which is now my new nofap goal, not just PMO.

 

Sorry to hear that bro. Even after the fun experience I had, I still have feelings for my ex but I know that I will never be able to work things out with her until I fix myself. 45 days is good but does not compare to the years of abuse I did to myself. I believe nofap not only helps on a physical level but also on a spiritual level and maybe someday when I have reached 90, 180, or 365 days of nofap, we may cross paths again and I will be able to show her how much I have improved. I have heard/seen countless examples of people being broken up and working things out down the road sometimes years later.

I feel that although I ended my retention streak of 45, the situation I was placed in was crucial to my healing process and now I would like to go 90 days minimum of hard mode and see how things go.

 

Yeah I hear you man I guess there always that "what if" in the back of your head that tells you that if only she gave me another chance that I would be such a better person but of course you also never know whats around the corner. The new girl was a great experience because she was very attractive but overall she still fell short compared to what my last girl was, which is probably why I still have feelings for her. Like anything else though I just have to work on myself and the rest will fall into place.