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Can Men and Women Just Be Friends?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Deleted Account, Aug 25, 2018.

  1. Wow, that's harsh. You're obviously of the opinion that those relationships are just for finding sex or a partner and that may be the case for you. On the other hand, some people find true meaning and friendship with another woman. Some of my closest friends were women and we really enjoyed each other's company. We just liked hanging out, i wasn't drooling over her and wondering when i could get in her pants.
     
  2. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    True, and honestly much of the things I seek for in a "friend" can be met with another man. Men can provide great friendships and brotherhood... Yep, and I put boundaries on myself(or try my best to). My GF understands that I have a voracious appetite for sexual things so rather than giving her a tornado of worries, I simply try to avoid other women and put those desires where they need to be(on her). The "friend filter" is on strict lol As much as it can be anyway...
     
    Deleted Account and Ra's Al Ghul like this.
  3. I absolutely disagree. What kind of weird and sad world would it be if men and women couldn't be just friends.
     
  4. Thank you
     
  5. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    There's no such thing as friendship. Everyone is just trying to secretly fuck each other.... Lol.

    The same way you wouldn't be interested in trying anything with your sister is the same way you wouldn't be interested in trying anything with a friend that you value having as a friend. If you wanted something more, then that desire should've been expressed right away so that it can either move forward or you can move on from it.

    Not being able to trust yourself around the opposite sex or believing that you would cheat on your partner is a personal problem. If you betray your partner, then that's an issue of not placing enough value on the right person. You know the right and wrong things to do. There's a space between thought and action. Disregarding that space is disregarding responsibility and chalking it up to "my sex drive wasn't my fault" or "I'm a man so I had to absolutely fuck her, it's not my fault."
     
  6. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    "There has been some physical attraction in a number of cases, but we never acted on it" This proves what I am saying... Anyway, everyone has a right to their own opinions, I am simply stating mine. My opinions and convictions are the sum total of my personal experiences and lessons lived. Your life might be a different saga, "Es ist was es ist".
     
  7. Fair enough, like i said agree to disagree. I respect that you have your own view on it and its all good.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. Some of y’all are really creepy with your opinions. If you haven’t had an occasion where you talked to someone of the opposite sex that you’ve taken no interest to, then idk what to tell you. That’s kind of messed up.
     
  9. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    That's great you disagree. Get in a committed relationship and see what your SO says when you start hanging out with a bunch of other women on the side and then claim you are "just friends" then tell her she's sad and weird for being concerned about you and your new friends.
     
    Deleted Account and Ra's Al Ghul like this.
  10. Just throwing this out there but my wife had very few females friends when we met. She is the type of girl that feels more comfortable with men in most situations. She would routinely hang out with me and my friends over my male friends partners or over girls. I'm not sure what drives that tendency in either men or women. Some girls find girls annoying and some men prefer the friendship of women over most guys. It has been a question in my head for sometime.

    My wife's two best, best friends in HS were two gay guys. At one point she said it was perfect because they were feminine enough to do girly things, male enough to not start girl style drama and she didn't have to worry about them hitting on her or getting weird...lol.
     
  11. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    Thanks, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't creepy. Cheers, bruv. LMAO
     
  12. Jason_Tesla_19

    Jason_Tesla_19 Fapstronaut

    Men and women can be just friends, but it's easier the less attraction there is! It's usually one likes the other, and it's not reciprocated, so feelings can get hurt. Maturity is necessary, especially for the person more interested.
     
  13. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    People getting offended by my honesty and my realization that attraction can get out of control and sometimes things can escalate very quickly and that it's important to know your limits so you don't do something you regret. Yet were all here because this shi* spirals out of control... Were all addicted to sexual things or we have spouses that are currently cheating on us or using copious amounts of hard core porn behind our backs, got in a divorce because we couldn't stop ourselves from looking at porn or seeking out a prostitute, did illegal activities because our sexuality was out of control or we developed some sick sexual fantasy that's damaging our own minds, our daily lives, or damaging the people around us... Yet we have people here commenting about "if you cant control yourself around the opposite sex hue hue hue" and "Wow creepy people hue hue hue sad world hue hue messed up wtf"... It's a slippery slope in the age of hypersexuality and rampant promiscuity, I realize this... "sad world"... It's a sad world when you have a porn addiction and end up here... Did you all forget where you're at and why you're here? Look in the mirror before making any judgement on someone's self control or the actions & measures they take to rectify it... none of you have self control or you wouldn't be here.

    If you don't like my opinions, quit reading and move on.
     
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2018
    Deleted Account and Ra's Al Ghul like this.
  14. Same. I've always had male friends over female friends, and I've had a lot of issues with girls in the past. Men and women can absolutely be friends.

    Of course that should change a bit, for most people, once you're in a committed relationship or a marriage. I dont go hang out alone with a guy friend ever, really. But there have been certain situations in which my husband was okay with it. Like if an old male friend was in town and I wanted to go get coffee with them and catch up or something. He didnt mind, depending on who it was. And if I wanted to hang out with my male friends from high school, I would just invite my female bestie along, too.

    For the most part, though, my male friendships from high school have mostly fallen away now, because we are all in relationships or married and those things change. But I have new male friends now. I attend a marriage group with a bunch of couples from our church, and I would consider all of the men there to be my friends. Does that mean I'm going to go hang out with them alone? No. But they're still my friends, and I would feel comfortable hanging out with them without my husband if a situation like that were to arise.

    Like others have said, its ridiculous to say that men and women can't be friends, period. And as far as attraction goes... theres a difference between being attracted to someone and wanting to date them. In my opinion, someone who says that you have no game if you dont act on every single attraction you have, is someone who must have zero standards when it comes to dating. I've been attracted to plenty of my male friends over the years, but that doesnt mean I wanted to date them. I dont date anyone my eye finds appealing. That would be stupid, as someone who was looking for a serious and equal partnership, which I have now found.

    The short answer to this question is yes. The slightly longer answer is that it depends on the person and the situation, I guess. I've had mostly male friends my whole life, but there are some male friends that I've had to stop being friends with, because they were very interested in me, romantically, and I didnt feel the same way, and they clearly couldn't just be friends with me and ignore feelings, so it was super awkward. But that's not every situation, by any means.

    Also, fun fact, I'm attracted to girls too. Lol so what would you say about that, @ClaudeDuval? Am I just not allowed to have any friends then, since I might be attracted to all of them?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 25, 2018
  15. Literally nobody here is "getting offended." You misconstrue someone disagreeing with you as them "getting offended by your honesty."
     
  16. Hey @ClaudeDuval, i didn't want to attack you, just wanted to say I have a different opinion.
    Second, I'm only talking about my real life, and for me it's possible and preferable to go out with any boy or girl and simply have a good time.
     
  17. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    "creepy" "messed up" "personal problem" with a side of sarcasm. Reading and comprehension skill.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  18. I didn’t bother to read the entire thread since common sense would dictate, yes.
     

  19. I like reading your stuff because you always have well thought out replies.

    I'm the same way, i have both male and female friends, but i tend to get along with girls better (depending on the situation) its just always been that way for me. Guys tend to get on my nerves a lot faster (excluding my close friends of course).

    I also agree that if i were in a marriage i would back it down considerably because i know "just friends" isn't always gonna fly in a serious relationship.

    Again, spot on

    Really? I didn't know that
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  20. Short answers work too, sometimes they're the most effective lol
     

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