Finally reaching 90 days: An honest analysis

Hi guys, I hope you are all doing well. This afternoon I finally reached 90 days after trying for nearly two years (I started in January of 2017) and it feels great to finally reach my goal. I thought I would take the time to write up an honest look at the progress I have made and hopefully offer some pragmatic and practical advice to people. This isn't going to be a hyperbolic rave where I tell you NoFap will cure all that ails you, because frankly it wont, but I hope to be truthful about my personal experience. I'll also try not to ramble too much, although some rambling is a given.

I might as well start at the beginning, back in January of 2017, when I first started NoFap. Back then, I was in a bad place, heavily addicted to PMO, masturbating many times a day, often to more and more fetishistic porn. I decided to try NoFap after hearing about it on some self-improvement site, and to cut a long story short, after many streaks, some long, some not, and after many relapses and tests of faith, I am here, at 90 days. The question I imagine most will be asking here is:

"Did NoFap work?"

Well, the answer to that is mostly yes, with a little bit of no. On the whole, my 90 day streak has put me in a better place than I was before. I am no longer wasting energy on PMO, no longer compelled to masturbate many times a day, my sexual fantasies are mostly back to vanilla and as my mood has stabilised I have found myself feeling more content and less prone to mood swings. I am able to be more productive. NoFap is definitely a positive thing.

What NoFap hasnt done, is be the silver bullet that some people seem to believe it is. At the 90 day point, my fetishes and urges haven't gone, and I've accepted that they probably never will completely go away. I haven't found myself suddenly more attractive to the opposite sex, and my sex drive hasnt increased either. I'm still a socially anxious introverted virgin. My PIED is getting better but is still pretty bad, and in general my sex life hasnt really gotten any better.

But you know what? Thats fine, all of that is fine, because I have accepted and am happy with my situation and now realise that in order to change your situation, you must first change your perspective. Its taken me nearly 2 years to change my outlook on life, so I cant expect the next part to be quicker, it in fact will likely take even longer. But again, this is fine. 90 days isn't the top of the hill, its the first major peak in a mountain range that stretches so high you cannot see the top from the bottom. If I just keep going, who knows how far I will go?

I want to finish my post with some quickfire bits of advice that I wish I knew from the start:

. Start and maintain a journal. Seriously, this helps A LOT, more than you might think. Keeping a record of progress makes it impossible to rationalise it away when you get urges.

. Get an AP. Shoutout to @DerNeuMann, who I wouldn't have been able to succeed without.

. Start exercising, eating right and living a healthy lifestyle. A healthy mind and body can fight addiction better and all the other benefits of doing this are obvious.

. Wake up as early as you can without entering into sleep debt, it allows you to feel more clear headed and thus more capable.

. Start reading. A honed mind is a superior mind.

. Stop paying so much attention to things like HOCD or certain fetishes, its just a distraction from self improvement. The more anxious you allow things to make you, the more likely you are to relapse.

. Finally, and crucially, STOP RELYING ON WILLPOWER. Willpower is all well and good when it works, but when it doesnt, you are up shit creek without a paddle or even a canoe. Study what practically works for you and use it to set up a bulwark against relapse, so you dont even need to try to not give in. Save willpower for when things get on top of you, thats when you will really need it.

I hope my post has been helpful to people, I'm tempted to make an update at day 120 to see if anything has changed. Until then, good luck to everyone, and for now, at long last, its sweet victory.

 

I would say yes to both. Not to say that they wont ever happen, because in my experience they will, it just becomes a rarer occurrence.

 

I think the best way to handle fetishes is to stop worrying about them so much, the more you focus on them the more power you give them, and then arousal quickly becomes compulsion. Are you sure that the arousal you feel is actually arousal, or just a compulsion or urge to PMO? I used to think my fetishes inspired sexual desire when in reality they were just my brains way of tricking me. Regardless, take heart, if you can go long enough without acting upon urges, they will fade, I dont think they will completely go away, but it becomes much easier to manage and cope.

 

I never used to get morning wood, but I do now occasionally, so I suppose it has gotten better. As for PIED, I find myself become more easily aroused without porn, but its hard to gauge this properly as I am not going out of my way to become aroused for obvious reasons, so its more a case of noticing it when it happens randomly.

 

Thank you very much!

 

Thank you for the advice!

 

Thank you!

 

Thank you very much!

 

Thank you, good luck to you as well!