need to vent a bit

I need help, I've done many streaks with each streak getting better and better. The improvements have been staggering, my ocd is better, got a job and got close to this girl I like.


It seems every time I work so hard to get to this point the urgers come and knock me down. Some thing pretty traumatic happened on the weekedThat cause me to spiral.

Started looking at P subs with , p stars with clothes on. Thats how it starts. Just looking at that a little bit is killing me but I go back. I know if I do full blown relapse it's over. I bloody hate this cycle of hell I put my self through.

Have you guys got to this point of all most losing it all and then recovering?

My mind is a mess right now but I'm hoping if I stop this p sub edging I'll recover quicker then a full PMO

 

I know it's wrong 100% wrong, im going to reset my counter. I was doing so well and then I let me guard down. time to try again