60 day Update

Making my story short:
*Skin has improved, less acne, it is very important to me
*easier to speak with people
*over-confident when speaking (but there is a downside)
*I don't allow someone to disrespect me, it just makes me angry
*I started to respect people more, showing sympathy
*I started to care about myself more, previously I didn't respect my appearance and personality
*I am not afraid to start conversations with ladies, in parties I invite to dance almost any girl I want, I don't care if she looks like 1M euros, fk it, I am also worth something.
*I can't start my morning without cold showers
*I get invited somewhere more often


Over-confidence is a good sign, but there is a problem, that I don't understand when something I say fits in the conversation, sometimes I keep talking irrelevant stuff, nonsense, I still can't get my sense of humor good, in previous streaks on days 50 I could joke whenever I want and how I want, people always liked those jokes.
I learned to respect people more often, but mostly I am somehow a cold person, In reality, I just don't care, but I want to change this.
In parties I somehow manage to get wasted, this is sad because on the previous party I told everyone, that I would drink max 3-4 shots and that is it....I drank approx 0.3/0.4L on my own, I felt kinda good, I could control myself, even went with a beautiful girl holding hands to that party, talked about future plans, when we were there, we danced, but then her friend called, she disappeared somewhere, I though- fk it, lets move on, I found another, and we danced most of the time at that party, gazed in each other's eyes, but she said she wants to go chill a bit, we went to sit, her girlfriend came and she was gone...Well, fk it, I moved on, danced more a bit and went to take my jacket, I was standing, waiting in line and idk, my drunk ass started to flirt with two girls , one was also wasted, but she was with a girlfriend, which was like a babysitter to her, so yeah, but then that girl grabs me by the ass, says: you have a really nice ass, I thought to myself: dafuq, I haven't done squats for months, how It could be like that, but okay, I don't mind Then she says: mine is also good, then I get to check it out, and her friend: mine also is a good one....so I got to check both asses...not with my eyes XD We laughed and went separate ways, I could have tried something, but I was too damn tired, I went home, Why I tell this, because I haven't had this attention from ladies for a huuuge while, so a small victory.
Right now I am invited to the party, where I don't know any people, idk why I even go there, but I will give it a shot.

Sometimes I feel good, that I want to smile like a dumbass, but lately, more often I feel depresso , kinda serious, I have felt like I am done with something, bored and angry, tired, I stopped used tinder because I think it slows my development, and anyways, I don't write anyone because I have that anxiety, what I will write, I just think it is banal, I like to meet people in reality, in my workspace and I will start using tinder when I feel, that I am able to keep a normal conversation with person which I don't even know. I just want to talk with a girl when I am sober, I am the real me, where we can sit together at coffee table and enjoy each others company. Sooo that is about it, I don't know when I will update, but not so soon, probably, dunno, but I am not stopping. Good luck people!

 

Shure they were

 

Okey, next time I will focus more on the improvement and motivating others

 

It somehow depends on the day, but I believe that soon enough it will be back to normal