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Do porn use make me trans?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Teuthtobetold1, Nov 1, 2018.

  1. Teuthtobetold1

    Teuthtobetold1 Fapstronaut

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    Hello I am a 21 male. I have been addicted to porn for a long time and have never succeed in stopping porn for a long time my longest streak is 4 months but have never achieve that again ever since and the streak is shorter every time. I started watching porn since 9 and at that time I don have thoughts of wanting to be a girl and am contend to be a boy albeit I am not that same as other boy becuz I am more kindhearted and is a softer boy compared to others. Since that time I started watching porn it's been increasingly hardcore and proceed to lesbian, gangbang, hentai and then transporn recently and I am hooked to transporn. Before watching transporn I am hooked to bdsm porn and the torturing of women and always imagine myself as the women inside and turn on by that. I start to get confused abt my sexuality and gender identity and thought that maybe i am a girl. Cuz since I started university I interacted with more girls and feel that they have life easier compared to boys and wished I wake up as a girl but the thought after this thought is always to try masturbation as a girl. I feel that i am not like other transwomen who have thoughts since puberty cux I do not until these few years. And every time after I masturbate the thoughts of wanting to be a girl perish and I feel that i don wan to be a girl and wan to remain a man but this part of me is fading away very fast. I rarely feel the strength to resist those thoughts of wanting to be a girl anymore. But after masturbation today I feel that i need to take some actions and stop porn use and try to revive my manly side. I feel that i don really wan to be a woman except only in sexual aspect so I want to try abstain from porn for some time and then only access those thoughts again. I have deleted apps that I used to join transgroups so I can reboot more completely. and should I throw away all my female clothing?

    I wan to get back to be a cismale and I don wan to always be depressed and no confidence. I always feel ugly in myself and feel that being a girl I will look better and get all the attention. Then I feel depressed and no confidence in my looks. I am also socially anxious and I wan to change this as well. I think porn plus my not enough mixing with girls make me think that girls have life easier being that they can get attention easier and people generally treat them more gently and they can get a partner easily. And it seems easier for them to socialise.

    I hope someone can share their experience if they are confused abt their sexuality and gender identity cuz i wish to know that i am not alone in this. And what are the changes after u do nofap for some time? And how do dating changes and ur view on women changes.


    Thank you and sorry for letting u reading my dark histories.
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  2. AK47_AkiraKagemusha

    AK47_AkiraKagemusha New Fapstronaut

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    Hi,
    How's it going?
    I'm a bit older than you but your story is very similar to mine.
    I am a bit worried about your ideas that your sexuality and gender identity might be 'confused'.
    I've used porn to 'get rid' of trans desires for the last 35 years, only to constantly find myself fantasizing about being the woman as I get towards conclusion.
    We is what we is, and porn doesn't make you trans, it might reveal some deep desires that might otherwise have remained suppressed.
    Accept yourself, be aware that trans-ism happens in animals and has happened throughout history, and be proud of the complex mix that you are.
    Whoever you date, tell them, be honest, it's not a big deal, much better to get it out. Some girls think it's cute AS LONG AS YOU DISCLOSE IT BEFORE THINGS GET SERIOUS. Most girls find it a turnoff.
    And maybe your are part-bi, bi-curious, 82.7% gay, whatever - don't be scared of your inner self.
    Someone said: "Being transgender isn't a medical transition. It's a process of learning to love yourself for who you are." And someone else said "you can only lie about who you are for so long without going crazy"
    Hope this helps,
    Take care, be strong, reply if you want.
    All the best,
    AK47
     
  3. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

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    P really messes up your mind and there are many stories similar to yours.
    In general, nothing wrong with being a nice guy.
    As for whether or not you're T, I'd say: Finish a 90 day reboot and then see how you feel. You seriously need time to let your brain heal. Your thoughts, at this point, are messed up. Not saying that you are messed up, but that you aren't thinking clearly. Abstain, give your brain a healthy rest, and then see how you feel.
     
    Foxhole and Optimum Fortitude like this.
  4. Teuthtobetold1

    Teuthtobetold1 Fapstronaut

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    I guess i should try. I mean i am on 25 days now and I am still jealous of how girls look and what they can wear and do...
     
  5. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I firmly believe porn/masturbation is responsible for the "trans epidemic" . Read my posts about it.

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...not-yours-this-is-completely-abnormal.215782/

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...ou-get-fcked-in-two-ways.215645/#post-1904526
     
  6. Teuthtobetold1

    Teuthtobetold1 Fapstronaut

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  7. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Yes, i mentioned it because your case is not remote, in the last few years more and more people think they are "trans".

    Your case is one of many and i am sure porn made you feel this way
     
  8. ProtagonistOfMyLife

    ProtagonistOfMyLife Fapstronaut

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    Your streak says you are on day 68 now. Has anything changed about your feelings so far?
     
  9. Teuthtobetold1

    Teuthtobetold1 Fapstronaut

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    Nah I broke my streak I just haven't updated it. Anyway the longest I have abstained in the past is four months and I still envy women I remember at that time for whatever reason.
     
  10. Teuthtobetold1

    Teuthtobetold1 Fapstronaut

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    How are u sure porn make me feel this way?
     
    Re:Born likes this.
  11. ProtagonistOfMyLife

    ProtagonistOfMyLife Fapstronaut

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    There is no guarantees in life with this sort of thing. The probability that it's porn induced is high. That's why http://www.sexchangeregret.com/ is a thing.
    If the danger of someday thinking you are trans and having sex reassignment even though it's porn induced or simply a fetish is not enough for you, then that's your own decision and 100% your own responsibility.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  12. Be careful about therapists etc who in some areas may be more inclined to simply file you as 'trans' and suggest potentially destructive treatments, because of 'trans' being fashionable right now, and because of it being quite unfashionable in some therapeutic circles to actually treat mental health problems which lead to false beliefs around being 'trans'.

    keep fighting
     
    kropo82 and Re:Born like this.
  13. You probably have a condition called autogynephilia. It's a fancy word for sissy-fetish (imagining yourself as a women having sex).

    This type of thing is more often than not porn-induced. I used to fill out brain gender tests when looking at porn and got all high when it came back female. It's a very dark fetish, advanced porn addiction seems to cause it along with transgender or gay fetish.
    It's an artificial sexual taste more than it is natural for many.
     
    Re:Born likes this.
  14. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Do a reboot and you will be fine
     
  15. Ash.k

    Ash.k Fapstronaut

    Really detailed and honest post man, so good to hear your sharing, i feel your really worried about becoming something your not comfortable being, and that in some way perhaps you are empathizing thru sex with the actors in the videos you watch, i have noticed that this is a common thread, and have experienced that kind of reaction to various types of porn also. Sexual energy is very powerful and alters our conscious state of being at the time of arousal, im wondering if you are experiencing some transference, in that your heart is wanting to connect more and more to people authentically but it is doing so during sexual arousal, which is normal, making love is a connection to another being and sometimes that means for me anyway that in many ways i become both people, giving a sense of being the other at the same time, given you have a big heart perhaps it is taking place without your awareness during your porn veiwing
     
  16. rafanal

    rafanal Fapstronaut

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    Hello @Teuthtobetold1

    I have a strong addiction to sissy porn and i'm trying my best to fight it. It is hard but we will win this fight!!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. I just wanted to say I feel exactly the same way you feel when you said that you imagine yourself as the girl while watching porn. I remember dressing my mother clothes when I was a child, just for fun of course because at that time I didn't know a thing about sexual desires etc but I felt a kind of good feeling when I did that. I did it some more times as I grew up and I still fantasize about it and about being the girl. I also don't know if this kind of behaviour was strengthened by porn or if this is just who I am. I always liked girls but as this fantasy was growing strong inside me, I had some "hardcore" homossexual experiences. I really liked it, but again, I don't know if this is who I truly am. I'm just very confused like you said. I hope the light of wisdom may guide our path.
     
  17. Kazuro

    Kazuro Fapstronaut

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    There are only 2 genders, There is no such thing as trans. Its a mental Illness. Quit Porn and you will be fine. If you are a male go to gym and work on your testosterone levels.
     
    porsche4life likes this.
  18. Fighter X

    Fighter X Fapstronaut

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    I don't believe in trans, it's just not right. You have to quit now and restore your sexual identify. I believe in only 2 gender where they can mate ,breed and maintain our population. But this kind of homosexuality just bring misery. Keep it up Bro and correct it
     
  19. Teuthtobetold1

    Teuthtobetold1 Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, I don even watch sissy porn. Whenever I say that I imagine myself as a girl having sex I don even watch sissy porn. I have never ever liked sissy porn. Just sort of like feminity and feel that i want those features
     
  20. Teuthtobetold1

    Teuthtobetold1 Fapstronaut

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    Tbh there are people who feel they are not in the right body even since they were 4 or 5, I believe it is true for some of them. I don know what percentage are porn induced but I do know some are genuine and just like to be the other gender.
     

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