Hi nofap community!

Hi everyone!
I'm here, in this fantastic forum, to make a revolution in my life.
After years and years of slavery i want to be free from the compulsive pattern of PMO.
I want to see this as a new starting point in my life, a new journey, a new chapter.
Because can't go like that anymore.
I know, to some extent, the benefits of not fapping, because i experienced them more than once. But now i am pointing towards a clear direction: gaining my life back.
May you experience life in an intense way

 

Right, is worth it! I cannot edit firse post so i will add here.

What is fapping to me? I started out when i was 12 if i remember well. Differently from all my male friends, I didn't have the knownledge about what it was, because they started even before, when a male produces transparent sperm. The first time i didn't like, the orgasm was like a strong thing, almost traumatizing. In that moment i said to myself i would have never done that again. NEVER!

But the days after... in front of the computer, ehehe, nude girls were searched. It started with soft pics, images, hentai (because after all i love manga), and for the first periods these were enough, the see/don't see. I started to do this and as far as i remember, i NEVER approached a single girl since 18 YO. It went on, until i needed strong excitement, so i went for videos. More videos, more fantasy, more strange, more things.. more more more shit. From 12 to 18 all fapping, no talks, no flirts, no speaking, no approaching with a real girl. I never had energy, also because i was lacking fitness. I always was ASHAMED in front of any girl i could easily like. But let's say every human female creature.

At 18 i met a girl, or to say, a girl liked me and approached me. How sad. She was recycling man worse than plastic factory could recicle petrol. But i kind of fell in love with her. WTF? Her mind was like if she was trying clothes in a shop, but i pathetically stucked to her because she was the only girl that i ever kissed in my life. With heavy difficulties i managed to move on, after 4 days of intense nothing, and by sending her fuck off i met another girl. This lasted 9 months, and after her i met my longest love affair, that lasted 3 years. Good, one may say. But did fapping played any role in that? OF COURSE! It made me sick in making love. I never made love and all experiences were sad. Porns ruined my mind. Fapping between one moments and other.

Some times, when my partner masturbated me, i was thinking about having sex with some chick. This is sad, very sad. I never cared about the role of my partner fully, almost all my care in having sex was only to feel myself a good sexual partner. No respect for the feminine.

But some moments of my life were lived fully, without fapping, without the need. In these moments i experienced what benefits one can receive from life. In fact, you start living life, other doors starts to open in your life.

Now i'm 25 and i'm in a bad mood, bad moment of my life, so, expecially in boredom, i'm wasting my semen almost every day in the desperate search of some juicy of life. But this lead me to sleep all day and having not the will to live life any more. Seriously. I prefer staying in house doing nothing rather than flirt a girl. I'm depressed and without will.

So my goal is: to stop completely fapping, fantasizing, doing sex without love. My goal is that i will only be making love with a real human being. In a complete way, like a real man; and at the seemingly strange price of saying NO if a girl want to be masturbated with my penis. Why i want this? Because i think this is the highest goal a man, intended as male human being, could have about his sexual life, with different quality and intensity of experience.
I begun the 90 days challenge and i'm already enjoying this forum.

If someone is willing to know where this point of view arises from, a link to a tape from an australian master will be here. I love that person (not in the commonly intended way, not at all). He changed my perspective and brought more hope to my life and is a great inspiration. The audio may seem a bit long but in the beginning he talks about the disorders, the unhappines, the disturbances with utmost precision, so one can easily be interested.

Can there be a difference between sex and love?
WARNING: It is very different from all commond way of view it. So, take it open minded.



THAT is the petrol for the engine of my motivation.

See you on the forum!!

Francesco, from Italy

 

Thanks man i wish you may get all the benefits of this experience. Your story is heart warming, is an example for every fapstronaut

 

Thanks my friend i am keeping a written journal of this experience. You hit a fundamental point in me: the victim mindset!!
We are moving forward, may you have the best good vibes