Streak Counter vs. Sexual Health as a Goal

I’m using the counter to motivate me, I like completing stuff and achievement and stuff, so I wanna get as high as possible, reached 75 yesterday but....

 

The PMO tracker is not the focus of this website. Rather, "NoFap is a comprehensive community-based porn recovery website. We offer all the tools our users need to connect with a supportive community of individuals determined to quit porn use and free themselves from compulsive sexual behaviours." [Sic]

Every new member decides for him/herself what tools they will use in pursuit of their recovery. To use the tracker tool you have to opt in (as you have), but it is not mandatory. If people want to reboot and continue having sex they are free to do so and the tacker can be set up with that in mind. The same is true of masturbation and the tracker can be set up only to count the days since porn was last viewed. So, I do not see your point Dave.

 

I see the points both of you are making

Kamakiri you are correct in bringing attention to the personal accountability the counter really represents. It is up to the user to set it up, be honest with themselves about what they consider a "relapse", and what aspects of P, M, or O they are specifically working on.

I would also agree with Dave though, that many member's have a tendency to let their self-esteem through recovery and personal maintenance be too attached to the number on the counter. It's an inherent facet with having any kind of public record of your private struggles.

I guess TL;DR would be; the counter isn't a problem in and of itself, but it isn't a terrible idea to take stock of how we view it or let it affect us. Are we more reluctant to respond on the forum when we have a low number on the counter? Do we feel we won't be taken as seriously if we seem like we just had a relapse ourselves? Do our motivations to keep abstaining from PMO come more from concern for health, or upkeep of our image as a Master Fapstronaut?

"But let each one examine his own actions, and then he will have cause for rejoicing in regard to himself alone, and not in comparison with the other person."
(Helpful Bible principal I appreciated growing up)

 

Abstaining from sex isn't detrimental in the least; whereas PMO is utterly destructive. Sex in the proper context is good; outside of that it will bring suffering and grief, no way around it. Outside of proper context it will bring a multitude of health issues. There are no health disadvantages in abstaining from sex.

 

The counter is a good motivator, and if it helps you push a little further than that may be all it takes to break free.

 

There are health advantages for sex in it's proper context -- but there are also other health advantages from abstaining. What is certain, PMO and sex outside it's God ordained context is a curse, and will bring about destruction upon your body and health. If you haven't realized that you haven't been paying attention.

 

Hi Dave, interesting thread. You made a lot of valid points... from my personal experience, I was able to quit PMO for 67 days. The counter did help me, but at the same time it made me adopt other bad habits as well which I will not bore anyone with long details. For 67 days, I did not miss the porn and when I broke my streak, it was real women that were the cause, not porn. It felt great four months ago, but months later porn came back into my life and I was back where I started.....

Before one quits PMO, one has to take a deep look who they are inside,how they feel, what they don't like about themselves and their life situation that led them to the downward cycle of PMO. Once one is self aware and mindful of why they practice this bad habit ( anxiety, self esteem issues, stress, etc.) , it should be replace with good habits that make you a better person with a better perception on life.

As for sexual abstinence, the only benefits I can see is your state of mind and the reasons one has sex. If you are having sex with a women because she is hot, attractive, trustworthy and someone you care for, the physical and psychological benefits are awesome. But if your purpose to have sex is driven by anxiety, depression, forgetting an ex, self esteem issues, an addiction and treating the women as a play thing, this is the only reason why I could see abstinence as a must, because you are doing it to fill a void in your life....

 

Very crucial thread, nice!

 

My dick will tell me when I’m healed not the counter.