30 yr old newbie here

Hey there fellow fapstronauts! (I feel a tad silly having just typed ‘fapstronaut’) I am a 30 yr-old male, and I’ve been using porn technically since the 90s when dial-up Internet/AOL took off. The cycle that this community dubs ‘PMO’ didn’t start for me until my sophomore year of high school, around 2003. From that time until present day, porn has been this constant, annoying, enigmatic presence in my life. Overall, I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time using it and probably an equally inordinate amount of time thinking and worrying about it and debating the morality of it in my own head. All that to say, it’s been an effing draining habit. Porn has exacerbated my social anxiety, has contributed to ED on many occasions, has sent me spiraling into depressive episodes, has brought on suicide ideation more than I care to admit, and just tends to render me unable to function in my own skin...
The way I feel about porn probably has a lot to do with my religious upbringing and how I was indoctrinated with certain ideas and values. I grew up in church. I have lead youth groups. I held a job as a worship leader. I’ve learned that religion can often fuel the porn-shame-guilt cycle. If nothing else though, church has shown me how important community is. That’s why NoFap has totally drawn me in. No matter what you believe, the aforementioned negative effects of porn are REAL. I’m done sitting around saying the same sad, sorry, bullshit prayers and hoping for divine intervention. I’m ready to be open about it with some real human beings, to be supported, and to support you right back. I think community, openness and honesty are the only true weapons we have when it comes to porn, so I hope to experience that here while getting to know other people’s journeys.
Also, I’ll be doing the recommended 90-Day Hard Mode. Today is day 1 for me. Let’s do this thing