Raped by a hooker

Obviously this is troubling you pretty bad of you have to post for help so I recommend seeing a physician or phycologist about it rape or abuse is a traumatic experience so it’s not going to take 1 session and you feel 10xs better but I would suggest talking to someone about it and they can give you professional advice/help

 

It was not rape. You paid and agreed. You could just lose $50 and walk away but u decided to stay. You need to ask yourself what you need to do differently in your life style to correct yourself. One small step at a time.

From your post in may 2018, you pretty much induleged yourself in fem dom fetish and let it go out of control where you feel like sht and lose all of your money. What have you done differently from back then and now. Think about that for a min. If you are still at square one, perhaps you need someone to assist you. That could be friends, relatives, someone you can trust or even a physician. If you recognize a problem, lets make a corrective action. Act before you regret.

 

Hi Graham,

It sounds like you were traumatized by this event and seeing a therapist may help you to work out your emotions surrounding the event.

The reason I am responding to this thread, is to stick up for the sex worker in this story. You agreed to pay her for sex and she followed through on her end of the bargain and brought you to climax.

Although your gut said you wanted it to stop, you did not say anything to her, you didn't pull away or do anything to express your desire to stop. To say that she abused you or worse raped you is just plain wrong. She is a human being working in the worst conditions to survive–you need to have some empathy and rethink your perception of the situation. Wake up! You are not a victim in this scenario.

My advice would be to chalk the whole thing up to 'a bad experience' where you couldn't control your compulsions to act out and move on with your life.

 

hey bro thanks for sharing this.

I can understand the feeling you can have and the remorse.

I suggest avoid giving your power away by blaming her, instead take full responsiblity over your own action.

You chose to listen to her, You chose to go to the bank and take your money out, You chose to listen to your head rather than your heart.

Once you accept this you will feel a sense of guilt/shame this is why you have to CHOOSE TO love an forgive yourself - really and deeply realize you are trying the best you can, and this is not a failure but a very powerful lesson to help you evolve.

If you accept the suffering of taking responsibility for choices and forgive yourself you will have a chance to choose differently next time, But if you blame her or feel self pity you will repeat the same pattern in different forms.

So I suggest, journal about what happened. What thoughts entered your head, what happened after and you can write a letter from your higher self on how you are forgiven and loved unconditionally.

Remember NO MISTAKE IS UNFORGIVABLE.The thief on the cross was instantly forgiven by asking Jesus to enter the kingdom of heaven with him. The women who was committing adultery was never condemned. "Neither do I condemn thee, go and sin no more"

So take responsibility, extract the lessons, forgive yourself and continue with your other goals., this too shall pass bro.

Lastly I would say, in your forgiveness process, forgive the prostitute also.

Imagine if you felt bad giving $50 away for a BJ, what it would feel like to give away your body to strangers just to survive and be addicted and humiliated by your pimp. She is trying to do the best she can. She prob had fucked up childhood and is a suffering creature.

THrough the eyes of compassion, you can love her, for who she is and forgive her and by doing this release yourself from blame and suffering.

 

Sorry, but you were not raped. You were staying there and waiting for an orgasm to come, you didn't do anything to walk away.

 

If you didn't make any effort to say no or walk away then you can't claim it was rape.

 

That's not rape! You should go to thread tools and change the title of this thread. It's an insult to her, she didn't abuse you.

 

I don't see no raping in your story as you agreed to pay and received... The reason you probably have regrets is because your brain neurons aren't healed yet or maybe you're not used to do those type of stuff.

 

If you believe she abused you, you need to forgive her. She is just the image of someone else who abused you in the past, forgive them too. Until you let go of the hurt, you will continue hurting.

Not to argue with you though, but the others here have made good points. From her eyes, you may be the abusive one, why do you think she looked at you coldly?

But I accept your version of events as a true experience, I just don’t see that woman as the one who abused you. This issue runs deeper. Forgive your abusers. I speak to you as one who has suffered a lifetime of abuse. You need to forgive them to move on to freedom. You may win a court battle, but you’ll miss the sunshine and flowers for a petty victory. Life is beautiful, the judicial process dreary and long.... forgive them and move on to better things.

 

I understand that you may feel bad about what happend
but in a context of crime like "rape":
It doesn't matter that you "didn't want it anymore."
It doesn't matter that you regret it.
It doesn't matter that you "felt powerless."

The only thing that matters is that you consentend, you agreed, you paid her and made no visible effort to stop it. Reality doesn't change on how you feel about it.

You consented to it and from the way you described it, made no for her possibly visible effort to stop it or retract your consent.

That's like a PMO-addict saying he was "raped" by porn after relapsing, because he didn't really want it but in the moment of it happening he consented to it.


I understand that this is troubling you, but rape is something very serious and casually calling rape on something you regret and dislike in retrospective and didn't make a visibe effort to stop after consenting to is doing a great disservice to people who actually experience rape. People who cry during it, loudly shout "No. Stop", and still are getting keeped violated.
Did that happen to you?

I have read through your stories and altered my post a bit. I understand you are having a bad time and trouble unhooking from femdom.

You have been wronged by dominatrixes but that doesn't mean that you have the right to wrong other people.
And accusing that hooker of rape is wronging them. Don't be that person. You are better than that.
You are projecting the fear, rage and hate you subconciously or conciously had for your misstresses onto this person. You are overcompensating because of what you experienced in the past.

Try to not associate with prostitutes at all until you have the willpower to actually say "NO" and walk away from it when you feel unsafe and don't want something.
You can't expect people to read your mind. And chances are a hooker is doing drugs and will put her life on the line for even 1 penny so she won't give you back the money.

Don't bring yourself into sticky situations. You need to think beforehand not regret it later on.
You have come a far way but don't become a person you don't want to be.
It's okay to accept your feelings. It's okay to feel violated. But you still need to adress reality. And the reality is that this person did what you paid her to do. You need to take on your own responsiblity in this.
With responsibility comes power. Not only the other way round.
If you take responsibility for yourself and your life you simulatneously take the power to choose and change your own life.

 

Better hope you didnt get an std. And that definitely was not rape, instead you could have just given her the money and told her to enjoy herself and she should take it easy for the night, do something nice.

 

I think he gets it.

 

Very well said & sound suggestion

 

This reminds me of how Hank Chinaski got "raped" by a hooker in the book Factotum by Charles Bukowski

 

I think you should get in touch with some high ranking official in the #metoo movement. Maybe they may be able to decide on the next best course of action.

 

You gave this hooker your verbal consent to perform a sexual act on you. This is not rape.

 

Do people not read the previous replies on this forum before making a reply themselves? This amount of replies saying the same thing, seems way excessive. Especially if it's a short, simple post, while other, much higher quality posts have already been written with the same opinion...

Anyway, I wonder if graham got back to this topic. He hasn't been very active.

 

Better ask a lawyer. Don't make things worse. Maybe he can help you state that you lied because you were under pressure, afraid, etc...