Need advise! Developed exhibitionist (CFNM and CMNM) attitude by inspiring women in porngraphy

Hi,
I can't speak to the dressing in women's clothes but I would be willing to bet you can reach out to the owners of a nudist resort and let them know your concerns before you try it out. Question, do you get an erection when you are nude or just like the feeling of being naked? I think both clothing-optional beaches and resorts discourage visibly 'displaying your arousal'. Good luck on your recovery.

 

Every time there is a "need" for something to happen, in your case getting naked, it is a sign of your mind having control over YOU. You must master over your mind or it will destroy you and you can never have peace.

So I suggest you look into healing work and seek to evolve consciously. There are free meditation resources such as vipassana or books such as the power of now, or you can start a 30 day meditation challenge.

Just like you gave up meat and eliminated porn greatly you can drop this habit of wanting to be naked, unless you find this habit actually narish and empowers you and is not harming any one, then you may do it as a hobby but you must have the CHOICE to do it and it shouldnt control you.

 

Not sure if the erect penis is yours or it belongs to someone else?

It sounds like you just fall somewhere on the spectrum outside of straight male. Bi-curious at least, maybe interested in cross-dressing (does not mean you are gay) and possibly role playing too. Nothing wrong with that. You are young so experimentation is part of your sexual discovery. What ever the case, stay safe and don't try and hold yourself to arbitrary guidelines like I am only going to have sex with a man twice... Follow your heart. I get the impression that many of the guys here that have come out, knew since they were very young. If that isn't you, give women a go too, they are wonderful. Good luck.

 

This is the eternal debate: did porn took you to certain fetishes that contradict your sexuality, or did it only encourage your true sexuality through mild fetishes that point towards it? I honestly don't know. Maybe without porn you would have grown straight but always feeling like something was wrong, not in place, and porn just helped you overcome the sexuality and morality guidelines that society imposed on you. Or maybe porn fucked your brain up, which is a possibility too. I guess there are people for both cases, I don't think there is a single answer that applies to everyone.
So the debate is personal, and the answer is for you to find.

 

1)
homosexuality is one way in which we humans express our sexuality. Somebody/minds are attracted to men and women. Some only to men and some to only women. neither is good nor bad it is what it is.

2)
"I often feel I should have sex with a with a man..."

when a friend said that, he didn't mean give yourself permission to become a slave to your ego, expressing emotions is different than giving to every impulse. This can be very destructive. You want to connect to your soul impulses not your mind.

Your soul/heart/consciousness's impulse comes from higher intelligence, the mind is like a puppy dog very dumb and not very conscious of many other aspects of your being, it only tells you what it like based on the programming it has received.

If you become very calm, relax, walk in nature, and connect to your essence and still feel a heartfelt the desire to express something you can do it as long as its not harming anyone.

3) "Where does a thought go when its forgotten"

THoughts dont go anywhere they crystalize like ice in the water and then they disolve.
They crystalize based on the charged emotions of your conditioning and your level of consciousness at this momoment

So a highly evolved being will crystalize loving thoughts and compassionate and selfless thoughts in his awareness, and an immature person crystalizes selfish thoughts of getting, jealousy, anger, rage, etc.

If you feel called to it you can benefit from reading the book "letting go" by Dr. David R Hawkins and all his other book power vs force.