Every. Single. Person. Can. Change.

Some great stuff in these posts and a must read for people on this site struggling with starting relationships later on in life. I only started relationships and dating at 31 and up to then I was also living at home, playing too many videogames and watched too much porn etc..

But you've hit the nail on the head - it's all about hard work and you get out what you put in.

So for anyone who wants to change their lives it really needs to be, in the words of Winston Churchill, "Action this Day", to start to make the necessary changes, as life is short.

 

I wouldn't say impossible, but rather... unlikely.
Again, trying not to rain on your parade here. Enjoy your accomplishments, my friend.

 

Thanks for sharing

 

This is encouraging! I believe that one day I'll get there!

 

You're right! I'm going to start .

 

Look, I'm really great that things have worked out for you, but titles such as yours a horribly misleading.

As someone with some success, I simply don't see the 'promised benefits' of NoFap. I get really bitter when I read some guy say that 'you too can be awesome' - the fact was you had simply hidden your potential. I didn't masturbate until I was 22, and I had NO confidence and NO attraction to women.

Please be more careful what you post in future.

 

Everyone is unique and has to do his own list of achievements. Generally, nofap helps most people. Why? The answer is simple. Sexual energy is very important in our development. But this is only the fuel. We have to create our own "engine".

Anyone can change. But you need to find your own success, what works for you best.
Nofap is very important because if you ruin your sexual energy, you have little energy, your thoughts become dead and less effective. It's much harder to change your reality.

So, I would say that nofap indeed plays a greater role to improve ourselves than most people suspect.
If you had serious life issues like me, it takes more time but it shouldn't take very long. I already did 3 months of no pornography although I did masturbate from time to time and I even watched nude pictures 3 times during these 3 months and yet I already enjoy the benefits of having stopped pornography and never relapsing.
I have my own story and I will publish it here but I am not finished yet.

What I also realized: Masturbation is also harmful if done more than once in a month.

 

Also, I have already started to develop a "theory" of mine why NoFap is so amazing for people although we basically just stop watching pornography and masturbating. I believe that most people here had an amazing potential in life and we ruined it with porn and other harmful habits. We ruined our energy levels.

And porn is so harmful that it also affects you on a spiritual level.

 

Amazing and inspiring!!!!!

 

Nice. Glad everything worked out for you

 

You're really wishing to go this path? Okay?

I had just turned 22, just had a break-up and had just finished a university degree. I also just moved into a share house with some decent people.

I was - not in a 'dream job', but in a job I didn't mind. I was left by myself on the night shift to run a printing press.

I had just finished a degree, not for something I was pursuing professionally, but because it was a subject I was interested. Yes, I'm one of the sick people who love learning for the sake of learning.

Eh... I've never really had a lot of friends. As I said above, I'm an exceedingly good target for bullies, or even someone who just wants to dabble in bullying. Even now, as a 41 year-old, I am occasionally bullied by colleagues or the general public when I do my job.

Okay, you got me! I wasn't that healthy. Then again, I've been working out five days a week and eating well since I started NoFap in March 2018, at that isn't attracting women either.

Of course I don't have fulfilling contact with women - I'M INVISIBLE TO THEM! The only women that consider me are those who have been so abused that I am the 'safe option'. Because I'm just so happy to have a woman notice me, I ignore my own needs/wants/desires/dreams. Having those things, independent of women (which I've had in the past) mean NOTHING to a woman. I so tired of hearing how women are attracted to a man on 'his mission'. My missions have made me as invisible as ever.

Okay, let's go over everything else I've started doing since I first undertook NoFap in March last year;

- started eating MUCH better
- started going to the gym, and lost 20kg (40lb) - though there has been a slight increase in muscle/weight
- I pretty much always dressed well, so that's not a thing
- started reading a lot more than I had in over a decade.
- finding it easier to meditate (I always meditated, so that's not really a thing)
- completed an accelerated Mathematics Bridging course at university for no other reason than to learn (university staff tell me I'm 'not normal' for liking to learn)
- am presently enrolled in a Postgraduate course to enter a field that, while not my 'dream job' (I don't believe that my dream job exists), it is at least something that I find interesting, and will make the world a better place.

I'm sure you can see the lack of 'social activities' in my list - I feel that any social interaction is of no value to the other party, in part because so many people throughout my life have told me this. As I've said, easily bullied, and pretty-much invisible to women.

Do I sound bitter and angry when I respond to the success of others? You're damn right I am. Either everyone else is fine and were just denying themselves, or I am THAT WRONG!

 

Thanks a lot for sharing, be blessed brother, hope you keep walking the True & Right Path of Life in all regards ! Peace & Peace

 

I did judo and some other martial arts when I was younger, but that didn't seem to make any difference. I was one of the shortest males in my classes in school, and am even now. Fun thing is, the one place where I'm not the shortest, by any stretch, is the gym. I'd say about half the male trainers are my height or shorter, and there are some absolute beasts there who are MUCH shorter.

I can walk around strange cities alone at night (done so in Hong Kong and New York, often whilst drunk), and never feared for my safety. Wandering around alone at night isn't where my threats lie - my threats are more likely to occur while I work (whether from the public or colleagues), or if I were to go out to a bar/nightclub.

My parents were tired of my 'inability to fit in' (from undiagnosed ASD) that by the time the flushings started I didn't even bother telling them. My sister probably didn't know, and I'm giving my brother the benefit of the doubt that he didn't (although he would have sided with the other kids if push came to shove). At present I am a shift worker, so there is little opportunity to study a martial art at the crazy hours I work.

Me taking myself seriously is immaterial - I have people every day who are quite willing to let me know just how worthless I am.

Since starting NoFap I have undertaken the following to put myself outside my comfort zone:

- done some parkour (not a lot, I'm nowhere near fit enough for it)
- started going to the gym, including putting myself front and centre in a class
- completed a Mathematics Bridging course at a university for no other reason than to learn (I didn't complete any math beyond the 10th grade)
- am enrolled in a Postgraduate course for Philanthropy and Nonprofit - I'm not in the field, but it is something that doesn't offend my ethics thinking about as a career

These are the ones that just come to mind.

Do it frequently. My favourite is to tell an Alt-girl I love her style (which I usually do) - doesn't mean anything though.

I have a terrible fear of constructed heights (bridges, buildings, etc). My father and siblings are aviators, so I'm not afraid in planes (though would be were I asked to jump out of one). Have mentioned elsewhere how I have repeatedly walked over a very high bridge in my city in order to deal with my fear. I walk across, but feel nothing after. I can push past my fears to cross the bridge, but once I cross it, the fear hasn't been conquered. It remains.

Probably been studying it longer than you've been alive. I see what women want, versus what they say the want. By the time I saw it, I was so beaten down by rejections from women that I don't think me being the biggest Chad Thundercock would make them respond any differently to me. Learned helplessness? Perhaps. I don't see any way to learn something else that doesn't see me experiencing more rejection. Rejection doesn't take me closer to anything beside self-castration.

I though me going to the gym and learning math was doing that?

Read most of your book list already.

 

Exceedingly so! I HATE reading/watching success stories and posts about how NoFap makes you confident and attractive to women. Any confidence I had was destroyed LONG before I ever jerked off, porn or otherwise. When I first started this journey, I asked about my fear - what would I do, even with a streak behind me, if confidence did not return? No one seemed to offer anything that placated me, but I went along anyway. All the success stories must be real, and they would work for me too.

They didn't.

Not after my first streak, of 60 days.

Not after my longest streak of 7 months.

Not ever.

This is a case where I would LOVE to be proven wrong, and I keep on coming back because I WANT to be proven wrong. I'm an arrogant arse, but not so arrogant that being wrong in this case wouldn't feel GOOD.

I'd like to clarify at this point that I don't feel I have a problem with porn. I feel not motivation to watch it, and the few times I have were more a diversion than a binge. The gap between my longest streak and my present streak only had me masturbating once or twice a week.

So yes, very frustrated, by the lies.

What do I want for my life? I want lots of money, a career that is fulfilling and does good in the world. I'd like a ripped body and able to lift a lot more.

Most of all, I'd love to be irresistible to women. I want attractive intelligent high-quality women to be drawn to me, to approach me, to have a LOT of intimate partners, and a lot more fun sexy adventures.

Well, gee, I'm doing NoFap - isn't that supposed to do it?

Okay, what else am I doing?

- I am eating well.
- I always dress well (aside from work, wear I have to wear a cheap polyester uniform)
- I go to the gym 4-5 times a week
- I undertook a math class JUST to do something different/uncomfortable
- I am enrolled in a Graduate course for Philanthropy/Nonprofit. I'm not in the sector, but I figure if there's something that 'does good' in the world, that would be it.