Who am I and what is my situation.

Hi, community,

Since I am new here, allow me to introduce myself.

I am 21 years old, I am big into my fitness since the age of 10, basketball at first, then at the age of 14 I started going to the gym, I was bodybuilding, powerlifting and weightlifting until the age of 18. Long story short, I was depressed, I was training 10 times a week for 1 year straight, most doctors would say I had depression. I got out, through cycling it was therapy, an 18 months therapy. At the same times, I started a degree in Sport and Science, now I am two months away from completing it.

I am now cycling 5 times a week, eating healthy, sleeping well and everything that a healthy person should do.

I am a casual waiter at the hotel restaurant, I have met my first ever girlfriend, (8 months now in a loving and caring relationship), it was a shock to me, because all other girls that I asked said no to me, every single one from the age of 18, so when girlfriend said "Yes", I was the happiest man ever.

I and my girlfriend are truly in love with each, at the beginning sex was not on my mind, but that could have been because I was masturbating to porn 3-4 times a week without any problems with getting an erection, never. Fast forward, I took her on a holiday (3 months ago), and it happened, I had no erection for the whole night, however I knew I was nervous as this was my first ever time, I took one blue pill on the second and third night, and I had no problems, nothing at all.
Second holiday, (2 months ago), still PMO but less, it happened again, however on the first day, I had trouble again, so I took one pill only again, and again no problem, but this could have been because I was thinking about what happened on the first of my previous holiday, and nerves as my degree had loads of assessment due in, I took the pill and had no trouble yet again, for two nights, but the on fourth night, it happened yet again, my girlfriend is really supportive as she said it is fine and she wants to help me. I was so embarrassed that I did not want to say anything but just cry.

I have read these blue pills can be nothing more than just a placebo effect, I feel this was my case, as it helped me relax and not worry about anything. However, I am a perfectionist, so I wanted everything to be perfect, which is a wrong thinking.

I am now on my 20 days of nofap, I have stopped watching porn, masturbating, but I am still sexting with my girlfriend, but almost none throughout the day.

My next holiday with her is on June 7Th. Question, will this give me enough time to recover, and what I can do to make myself worry less about it?

Thanks in advance.

 

Welcome to the community.
It should give you enough time to get your sensitivity back which will help. It will also get you well on the path to healing mentally.
You have nothing to lose and this will not hurt you.
Read, learn and make your plan. You can do this.

 

Thank you very much, I have read also about foods, exercises and everything else that will make this go away, and I am doing all other, therefore I should think that recovery will be even quicker. Cardiovasucl exercises, I am cycling 5-8 hours a week. Gym - 1-2 times a week, Diet - I am eating healthy food, and avoiding fatty food, sugars and so on. Sleeping well - I am sleeping at least 6 hours. So it should make the recovery quicker. What do you think?

 

Thank you very much, I am not sure if I am cured, but my girlfriend is coming over to my home on Friday for 4 hours, so we will see.
Yes, 20 days free of PMO, so the recovery should appear, and because I am doing all other things that help with it too, exercise, healthy diet, sleeping and worrying less about everything. It should be fine.