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Wife spying

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Johntempted, Apr 28, 2019.

  1. EXACTLY!
     
    Despicable me and ultrafabber like this.
  2. I’m not sure if we were moral ( like some are talking about marriage, wives, self-respect etc) we would even be in this mess (pmo) in the first place, so calling this guy names to say he is not being moral with his wife Is the pot calling the kettle black.

    Quite frankly marriage , if not held to the original religious level of monogamy, is simply a human behavioral contract and thus has to deal with the fickleness of human fidelity.

    For one couple spanking is norm, but for the next it is prohibited. If 50% of Americans practice anal, what do we do say about the other 50%?

    Again, I don’t think we are really addressing the root of the sexual behavior in suggesting a moral high ground— sexual addictions stem from non sexual causes: trauma, emotions, repression etc. Once healed we can look to change multiple things.

    What it seemed to me she meant was that once a woman experiences the pleasureful state of double penetration it’s a experience they don’t forget.
     
  3. Just for clarity I was talking to a girl about a threesome. She was describing what is “unlocked” when there is two guys on a girl.

    Two girls on a guy is not as pleasureful apparently.
     
  4. Well I have the feeling there is more to this. Women act out for different reasons than men, did you have her consent upon marriage? Was she considered mature or immature ?

    The lady I cited who is 30 years younger said she realized she was a prize, a trophy, and that she was tired of being someone’s possession. She wanted actual freedom and actual love. Not sure if your situation will reflect any kind of repression as it did for her, but just for your to consider. Not all marriages are based on love. Some of are for social escaping, money, or even arranged etc.
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2019
  5. Johntempted

    Johntempted Fapstronaut

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    J
    thanks a lot for this note?
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  6. Johntempted

    Johntempted Fapstronaut

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    It’s the money for her. And we do love each other
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  7. I find this thread interesting because the answers are so passionate. It's like this situation reflects our deepest fears about relationships and highlights keenly our hypocrisy as PAs. It's very possible that 1000s or porn videos I watched contained women behaving exactly like this man's wife and were being unfaithful as this mans wife has been. Also I have to admit honestly I'd be curious to get these images if his wife is hot. Doesn't that show a disconnect and why so many people are outraged at the way he is being treated. We both crave that this situation keeps happening as long as it isnt us and then when it hits too close for comfort or we hear the other side we are OUTRAGED!!! Speaking for myself this is self hate of the highest order. It makes me confused much like this man is. It makes me realize how addiction makes us powerless.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 1, 2019
    Dr. Mario and need4realchg like this.
  8. Johntempted

    Johntempted Fapstronaut

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    You know you need to hold your horses and find true outlets or ways how to deal with your mental ejaculations....this is not good!
     
  9. Johntempted

    Johntempted Fapstronaut

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    By now I shared with 8 guys and 2 women..I found some banging pics in meantime. She shows that and pretends it’s me. That’s not me.
     
  10. Beautifully said @Max Fisher .

    You sir , are honest and transparent.

    Allow me to illustrate:

    This is a true story: there was a man who happened to be at a kfc ordering food. While he was picking up a bucket of chicken and left. Upon inspecting his food he discovered rolls of crisp bills in the bucket. It appeared the store mgr had unintentionally swapped the bank drop for this customer’s order. So He went back and explained to the clerk what happened. A news crew came to film the story and got the info from the store manager. When they went to interview the customer he denied their request. They wanted to honor this honest person but he would not.

    Later it was discovered why. The reason he would not be filmed is because he was buying the chicken with his mistress. A camera crew would have exposed him. He was honest but not transparent.

    @Max Fisher you are honest enough to say you disagree but like many of us have already done what the op is writing about. Thank you for your integrity, honesty and transparency.

    I know I crave to be as honest and transparent as you are , so sometimes my posts can defintely reflect that addict cruelty but hopefully most of the time , my higher better self. This man needs the latter, and I hope all of us can continue to encourage him.

    It is possible to love someone and cheat regularly. It’s what pmo is.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. Thanks man. There is not reason not to be in this community if you can.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  12. Maybe you are right. You should stick with need4realchg. He will help you
     
  13. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    dude, you did a big mistake by sharing it, you shouldnt share those stuffs with other people, even if its her fault and all, its just wrong and you made yourself look more bad than you wanted.
     
    vapid and need4realchg like this.
  14. You did an mistake.... maybe I dont like his thoughts but this man. Yes man because he has the courage to confess such things to become a better one. Dont shame him. He wants to change. And we are here to support him. I am sorry for being to harsh on you brother, John

    Lets change your life :)
     
  15. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    man, this is a serious criminal offence, im not a prosecutor in court, im just telling him to rethink about his actions before his actions will ruin his life. is it more friendly to encourage him to indulge in criminal activity or to ask him to reconsider itand stay out of trouble? needless to say, this is already a sad situation, and sharing her private conversation is no one's buisness. now he needs to live on the mercy of his friends not telling on him to her.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  16. Dr. Mario

    Dr. Mario Fapstronaut

    You say this, but then every post you've added to the thread since, you've just been indulging your newfound fetish.
    What are you deciding? Are you going to treat this fetish as friend or foe?
    I'd definitely tell you this fetish is your unequivocal enemy. But, I'm not you, you have to decide for yourself. If you don't make an active decision, your addiction will decide for you, and you'll wind up a full-on cuckold, whether or not you really want to in your heart-of-hearts.

    I'll also warn you, if you don't remove this problem sooner than later, there's a very real, very high chance that your wife will divorce you.

    Here's one last thing to consider if you're on the fence about whether to embrace or reject this fetish. There's a reason this fetish is most common among porn addicts, i.e., people who have lost control of their sex lives. Do you really want to embrace a fetish that is, among other things, the total surrender of self-control?
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  17. This is one weird situation where both of you have done wrong
    She sounds like a SA and you sound like a PA.
    Dont divorce her, if you love eachother you can fix this!


    Ive been in a similar situation with my GF who i love very much.
    Got addicted to P to cope with stress, started getting a weird fetish, didnt want to force my fetish upon my gf, found a website with a chat where others with The same fetish would share pics etc, i started chatting there alot and recieving pics from girls, soon i started showing them my GF just to hear them say fetish related conpliments to her looks that i didnt dare saying at the time.

    No real nudes or face showing, anonymously and no plans to meet up or such, wouldnt bother me if she did the same, with the same reason.


    Started feeling guilty after a while so i told her about it, about the chats, pictures and my fetish and that i never would do it again.

    She is so understanding, and dont feel betrayed or consider it to be cheating etc.
    I even stopped pmo completely to prove myself that i can.

    Now 6 months later i still feel guilty, but i know there is no harm done as it never showed ger face, and that i never would have had sex with someone else even i had the chance.


    My only advice is TALK, maybe she feels bad about it and is too shameful to tell you? Just like you dont tell her about your stuff.


    And dont share her nudes to people who know her or might recognize her, man
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  18. ...and what exactly does sexting with other guys have to do with porn addiction?
    She is cheating on him, she's not just watching porn.
    She has been sending nudes and stuff to other real people and she may even have met them.

    It seems like you all want to justify female cheating at all costs nowadays.
     
  19. Cheating is a sexual response to an emotional trigger.

    Pmo is a sexual response to an emotional trigger.

    What makes one better than the other exactly?

    Why do women say pmo is cheating on them?
    Do porn addicts Not feel they are cheating on their partners with pmo?

    Don’t want to name her but one SO said —- “my husband was (vía pmo) cheating on me with 1,000 of women all with perfect bodies every night.”

    How do we excuse one and overlook the other ?
     
  20. Because while you’re cheating you’re concretely interacting with real people. You are entirely exposing yourself to real people, you are not watching sex characters on a screen.
    I would surely be upset if my partner watched porn, but it’s not equivable to real cheating at all. Plus, I’m pretty sure that, if this situation had reversed genders, nobody would have said “Talk to him, don’t dump him, even if he has cheated on you”. There are also a lot of biological factors that play the role. Not excusing cheating, but if a man cheats it is, in most cases, because of physical sexual needs, while for women it’s way more of an emotional response.
     
    Dr. Mario and need4realchg like this.

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