Stop blaming porn

I hear you brother ... it makes you something you are not! Now that's twisted from my personal experience as my viewing has become really dark and disturbing over the years! Yes, I am blaming porn for this as my brain never used to think like this and it has become hijacked. I am also blaming my genetics and environment growing up since it was my Dad's addicition too be it in magazine form which my mom handed me at 10yo to look at. Stopping seems to be beyond my control over the past 4 years as I have tried and failed more times than I can count. It's like asking someone to stop breathing. 43 years of it takes a toll in that it's now deeply rooted in my neural pathways and at 56 yo, maybe I am too old for my brain to reboot/repair and make new pathways. Time will tell. Good discussions here everyone and I agree the answer is multi-facited, not black and white (like my old TV) but in shades of grey. The truth lies in all your answers, I believe. Cheers.

 

Porn has rovined my taste.
I was become a fetish lover.
Today i'm falled, but i was excited for an ass, not feet.

 

...and I like feet and ass too. Wonder what that tells us?

 

I don't know

 

You're not too old. People can build new brain pathways as adults it seems. Good news!

 

How about seniors???

 

Leonardo da Vinci was learning new language after 80+. Yes. Never too late.

 

I've been addicted to this shit for two decades and I can relate to everything you've written. This behavior progresses over time. You need more and more twisted and dark material to get turn on and frequency goes only up. Luckily I didn't do anything illegal, but man some weird stuff I've seen still hunt my mind. You can stop drinking excessively by not having any alcohol in the house, not going to a bar and tell friends you don't drink anymore on social occasions. Same is with other substances. But with PMO you always carry your "drug of choice" with you. Only self control can protect you from yourself and this shit engraves in our lizard part of brains (autopilot mode) and does weaken and even shrinks prefrontal cortex, which is in charge of rational behavior, just like any long lasting frequently repeated dopamine rewarding behavior. It's not our fault, it's how evolution has made our brain function. The good thing is that ANY deep learned behavior (be it drugs abuse, alco, gambling or PMO) weakens when you stop repeating it. Every time you have cravings and resist, neuropathway weakens. That's why reboot period is crucial first step in recovery. I'm seriously trying to quit for about 8 years, even longer not so seriously. It gets easier over time. The trick is to keep trying. You abstain, relapse, abstain, relapse... abstention periods become longer and longer and easier to achieve. Relapsing few times a year is very different than relapsing every week and doesn't have such bad consequences on your life.

I encourage you to view presentation and read dr. Marc Lewis's The Biology of Desire: Why Addiction Is Not a Disease to get neuroscience perspective how any addiction works and how to fight it. It was an eye opener to me.

 

Well I believe porn is bad for you in all aspects, can you please list some benefits?

 

well having sex with your hand is completely normal I guess, then why don't normal people marry their hand because they had so much sex?

 

they absolutely love their hands

 

Apparently so. Aerobic exercise helps a lot.
And you are middle-aged not a senior!

 

Thanks. I guess you're right if I live to be 100. Lol

 

Good point. The only ones that comes to mind are it releives tension and horniness.

 

i agree with benvy that some people blame the addiction and don't see the real problems itself, but drugs porn and things like this have side effects that can mess with your mind or body. i watch porn because i'm lonely and bored and now i'm trying to stop PMO but i'm still lonely and bored.
i live in Brazil and i see drugs destroy people's lives, those who survive this shit have to treat the effects and have to deal with some things for the rest of their lives (rejection in society, friends and even family for example).

 

I feel PMO addiction is very much tied to P. They and sexual performance issues are directly linked to each other and guess what they are all symptoms of a root cause. Go back and dig it up. It is there somewhere.
And they all reinforce and multiply each other. It's like an ingredient list in the SA cookbook.

 

today i relapsed, but if some months ago i worshipped foot/shoejob videos, and women's shoes, now my taste someplace restored.
then i don't despair completely

 

I agree with you op