Sexual Tastes switch into cuckold and trans

Hi guys,i'm new here,i felt the need to do a post since i'm like going crazy right now.I'm 26 years old and i'm in a relationship with a new girl right now since like november.The problem is the 1st time i tried to had sex with her i had no excitation at all,and obviously i had no way to have sex with her. Since i was 16 i masturbated a lot,and even started masturbating like 3 times a day for most of the times,searching everytime for more extreme porn,i even started trying anal masturbation.After i went 18 i found a girl and had a relationship with her for 6 years,where in the first year and a half i had very good sex with,and it was very pleasurable,even my life overall was super good,i was happy with everything i was doing.After that she went in like depression sex was really bad to the extent where most of times it was so mechanical that i started losing interest,and even my life started to lose meaning.So basically from when i was 20 i started masturbating super hard on hentai,and porn more and more strange.At the point that most of time i coudn't even have an erection with her,if i wasn't thinking about porn i saw.The more this thing went on the more my taste changed,with anal masturbation, and getting addicted to cuckold porn where in my mind i was passive,and i was humiliated with dick size comparison even though i've got a completely normal dick even above average and even had to fuck with the other man.From that i even reached in the last year where i was alone after i fucked with another girl but then broke up in a bad way and went into depression,to seeing gay porn where i only liked the domination and if there was a big dick,if there was romance like kisses and hugs,i felt discomfort.I even got addicted to a lot of transgendered person/Futa porn,and idk why my tastes changed so bad,i kind of think maybe due to unsatisfaction and depression.Now i really like the girl i'm with and we had a lot of preliminaries with very good result where i can have an erection even without thinking at strange things,just emotions and senses.Just recently i wanted to quit the thing of masturbating to porn and homosexual things since i feel they aren't a part of me,even though my brains react to them with excitement after the last year.Its like a month i don't watch porn and only cum when she gives me oral or masturbates me,i live all this like and new training of my body.Only big problem after i quit porn and solo masturbation,my level of anxiety skyrocketed,and now i have obsessions of being gay,and i have constant thoughts of the time i anal masturbated,i watched gay porn and i hadn't an erection with my past gf.I want to end all this,since i'm always been attracted to girl,but at this moment my mind doesn't want to let me free,i can't even sleep at niight most of the times,and i don't even like going to the gym anymore since i fear to feel attraction to mens,its a lot likely HOCD even though i don't know if i have it,still i want to get rid of all this,i want to say that in past years i masturbated like 4-5h per day while searching internet for new sites and exciting porn,and i saw my tasted switching,so pls guys help me,i want to enjoy sex with my gf,and stop these obsessions in my mind.Thanks

 

I never found man attractive at all, that's what is getting me crazy recently, just had like a dick fetish since a few years.

 

The thing like i told u is that i never found appealing to be with a man and i even always disliked even watching men kissing or hug each other,simply like most men i had a fetish to see men with big dicks in porn,the time i had with the girls too was amazing,so i have few doubt about that,but my mind doesn't want to set me free.

 

In fact its getting more and more clearer the more it goes on,i understood why i went into those fetishes this evening,i'm starting to feel a little better finally,even though i don't know if i will be able to sleep this night cause recently i'm a lot anxious.

 

Ye thats true in fact atm i'm like living hell,i have insomnia,constant anxiety about everything,and every time i see a guy i think,if u look at him it must means u like him,that is a thing i never thought my entire life,as u said compulsive masturbation was my way to relieve all my anxiety and now i'm like exploding.

 

Atm it's pretty strange, I don't feel like emotions or sexual attraction to anything, I feel like asexual.

 

Still its pretty strange atm, I like really don't anything exciting or attractive, maybe cause it's like 2 weeks that I sleep less than 3 hours per night, but it makes me feel sad since I dislike the fact of how I am when I am with my girlfriend, now it's like more than a month than I don't watch porn, and the only time I came where with my girlfriend doing things to me, like 2 weeks ago, since now she is busy. But I don't even feel the need to cum or masturbate atm, thats why I feel like asexual.