Feeling depressed....

Hello, i have dealt with losing all of my friends because of a girl that i cared about a lot, this lead into losing my job because of depression. i had no will to do anything. life stopped for me years ago. i started to rebuild YEARS later (Because i allowed myself to hide cause of the shit talking i was hearing) but i made new friends, received decent job (without having schooling). BUT..... then i started to PMO with my ex Girlfriend back in my life (SAME GIRL FORM FIRST STORY) i would pmo while she was in the next room which caused a wide range of issues naturally, i started doing this alot because it made me feel better about the issues i caused, then decided to blame those issues (allowing self gratification) which made me depressed ... i fell back into the hole that i had just filled up ( no pun intended). this lead to my girlfriend leaving our apartment one day when i wasn't home, i chased her for one whole day until i realized id fucked up. Depressed, Lost my job again. this all happened 3 weeks ago. i am rebuilding again and the last time ( i am done with being my own loser) ; i have deleted all SM, removed all dating apps, added blockers to my phones and computers to help avoid the one thing that i could confirm had destroyed my life. the way i am dealing with this is the same as i did before but doing different stuff, i walked a lot and listened to audio books, running, lifting weights to improve my defeated looking posture. lastly, i have decided to give school a chance, i am 28 years old. the moral of the story is.... do your thing but do not do the same thing as before, also try not too PMO, allowing yourself to hold back will allow you to become hard, it will help you stand strong because your testosterone increases. you will still be optimistic. however, you will be a little less quite and for whatever reason everyone like that.. do not be depressed that you aren't allowing yourself to release, you should feel proud that you have been given this hard road to follow. remove yourself to become better and appear back when you are stronger but be humboldt -the new person that you will become will be strong this will surprise even you.

good luck to you, fill your hole with the shit you really wanna become.

 

naw man, there're a lot more folks going through this life with way more pressure on their backs. I can try to consider myself very lucky with a few setbacks if i choose to compare. thank you

 

Happens my friend, that feeling of loneliness is soul crushing but you need to learn to withstand it and it will fade away.
Friends come and go, the ones that truly are your friends will make an effort to remain in your life, those who don't are not worth your time.
There is always new people to befriend out there, takes time and patience to build a healthy social circle but you can achieve it.
Personally i prefer having fewer friends to having a lot of fake friends, i can count with 1 hand the people i trust and to me thats enough...
It's your story, worry about your journey worry not about the validation that other give, your own opinion is what matters be self sufficient.
Nothing easy is ever worthwhile, be strong.

Best wishes,

 

What do you need? Can you find connection? You aren’t alone in this. Thanks for sharing and stay strong

 

I sleep it off.