Ask me a question (500 days clean)

Hey buddy, that's a tough question. I didn't have any partners during the first 2 years of my reboot. Why? Because I had no idea about girls.

I personally think that real intimacy and sex has great healing potential. So generelly I would say go for it, if you like each other and share some kind of connection, it doesn't have to be a great love. But I wouldn't use sex or dating to compensate longing for porn. I think this will lead very far into the opposite direction you want to go.

I know now a partnership can trigger strong feelings, that aren't easy to handle, even if you're clean for a long time. So I personally would wait at least 90 days. Start when you feel grounded and pretty stable.

For about 9-10 years.

After 90 days you'll feel like a god. After 5 months too. After 2 years you'll know that 90 days no porn was nothing more than a taste of whats possible.

NoFap helps you with social anxiety, because porn induces social anxiety and you'll start to feel weird around women. When you stop porn, this will go away. It helps you with confidence, because the semen retention will give you a better sexual charisma, and you're more stable with your emotions... so comes the confidence.

I've seen a few sexualised pics during that time, like women with deep cleavage or whatever. But that's not a relapse. Sometimes you see them without even choosing to.

A relapse is: seeking out porn - watching it - masturbating to it - cumming
A slip up is: seeking out porn - watching it

Thats the way I see it.

I spend my free time doing sports, meditation, writing, working on projects, seeing friends, going out with women. I do thing I love, and that challenge me also.

Benefits can be: sexual charisma, no social anxiety, more confidence, energy, focus, clear head, no brain fog, good ability to deal with unwanted emotions.

I would say: Let your fear be your guard. It's a good sign that your afraid of relapsing. I was terrible afraid of relapsing during the first 3 months. I knew I wanted to break free of pornography, cause I could almost smell the life that is beyond this addiction. Don't try to fight the fear. Be greatful for it.

I think a lot of people aren't that afraid of relapsing, they are more afraid to give up porn. And the relapse again and again. They don't change anything in years.

So it sounds like you really want it. So let your fear be your guard, that keeps you on the right path to freedom of pornography.

It will be a lot better after about 2 weeks... give it time... It's a healing process that takes time. Every day you're one step closer than you were yesterday.

Yes this is one of the big problems I see in this community. A lot of people feed each other in their suffering. They say relapsing is not a big deal. But it is a big deal!!!
If you keep relapsing every week, you don't learn anything, you don't progress... That's bullshit they keep telling themselfes as an excuse to stick to their addiction.

You only have limited time in this body you have right now on earth. Use it. It's your present moment, and your future, and you can decide what you do with it. Do you want to experience life with all it's ups and downs, joy and grief or you want to play with your dong watching two actors having sex?

You're question tells that you're already asking the right questions. So go for it. Stick to the successful people, who want to break free from this addictions, and stop hanging with the pretenders.

Willpower is limited. So it is not enough. What you need is a strong ability to visualize your future self and success... This picture and the emotions it fires in you will carry you over the tough times when willpower is already used up. It will give you something greater than willpower, another strength and deep trust in the process.



Thanks a lot for all the great questions. Keep it up brothers. You can make it. I know this. Peace.

 

If there are any more questions, feel free to ask.

Thank you so far.