1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Wife spying

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Johntempted, Apr 28, 2019.

  1. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    1,787
    5,061
    143
    I am afraid to change too, but this goes to far. This is drawning yourself in your own misery and jerk off to it. This is probably what would happen if an incel manages to get a girlfriend.
     
    hardowner and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Well but you see this is his feitsh... He needs hit rock bottom maybe
     
    hardowner and need4realchg like this.
  3. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    1,787
    5,061
    143
    And what would that be? She having sex with other in front of him?

    And I thought me liking chubby girls and stockings was weird.
     
    hardowner likes this.
  4. Yes... there is a word called cuckold (I was into that kinda shit into as well, but just a little bit. Like watching that shit on a video) but its disgusting.... Trust me its drags you into the most dangerous places from your addiction.
     
    hardowner likes this.
  5. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    1,787
    5,061
    143
    But the fact that you are here saying this means that you knew you had a problem and worked to solve it. He is just enjoying the attention.
     
  6. I wasn't that deep inside that crap I was just scratching the top of the iceberg
     
    llortaton likes this.
  7. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    1,787
    5,061
    143
    And that was enough for you stop know you had to stop. I understand pornography drags you and you cannot think clearly, that is why it is so dangerous, but this it not pornography, this is real life, and he likes it this way.
     
  8. he lets pornography invade his real life. first its a thought then it becomes words and then actions
     
  9. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    1,787
    5,061
    143
    Is it too late to make him snap out of it? Because he won't change by himself, and the help he was given made him worse.
     
    hardowner and Deleted Account like this.
  10. It is never too late! But it would take too much effort for us to help him. He needs to reach a point where is decides if he wants to change or not. If I don't see any will to get help I won't help. Because others could need that help instead
     
    hardowner and need4realchg like this.
  11. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    1,787
    5,061
    143
    True, there is no point in helping someone who doesn't want to be helped.

    OP, your behavior is disgusting, and until you realize that, you are a lost cause.
     
  12. I will help him when he really wants it because my ideals and beliefs won't let me give abandon someone. Being a Hero isn't easy you need to set priorties.
     
    hardowner likes this.
  13. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    1,787
    5,061
    143
    I am no hero. To me, some people are not worth helping. If he is one of them, only he can say.
     
    hardowner and Deleted Account like this.
  14. FYI—-This is not an issue of pmo it’s a issue of SA; not taking away any of your previous mentioned points.

    Plus, if the op gets off on being humiliated, then calling him names is the same that a dominatrix does—- you are now acting in the role of that—- he has converted you into feeding his fetish.

    It’s best to respond without emotion; I don’t understand the threat to beat him up?
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2019
  15. You are right. I sometimes get angry when people have "bad habits" that I have myself and couldn't change so far. So I get angry and project that anger to them. Most of the time I know that its not right what I want to do so I stop complaining and get myself together and do something
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  16. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    1,787
    5,061
    143
    You are right. There is no point in insulting him. This kind of situation makes me angry and I lost control.
     
    need4realchg and Deleted Account like this.
  17. plzrlzme

    plzrlzme Fapstronaut

    55
    41
    18
    I don't think hating on the OP is helpful to anyone in any way. Like most of you, I would rather be the one doing the cheating than the one being cheated on. But, if this is OP's fetish, the only difference between that and fat girls in fishnets is how it makes *you* feel.

    Think about it: you don't care whether those women you fantasize about are someone's wife or girlfriend. Most of us who watch porn watch people we are attracted to getting fucked by people other than us. This guy thinks his wife is hot, and he is looking at pictures of a woman he thinks is hot getting railed. It turns him on. But that woman is his wife and those men are not him, so he feels ashamed by his response the images.

    Fetishes are born from shame. We tend to obsess over it when we suddenly find ourselves aroused by something that isn't "normal." We masturbate. We regret masturbating. We try not to think about it, which is the same thing as thinking about it, and then we masturbate again. We regret it. We try not to think about it...

    Maybe this is a lifestyle choice he never knew he wanted to make. Maybe it is a road to disaster. Either way, I agree that if he wants to have any sort of meaningful relationship with his wife then they need to communicate. But it isn't my place or yours to judge other people, especially when merely being on this site means we admit that we have poor control over the things that arouse us.

    You like chubby girls in stockings. So do I. Does that mean that we need to think that guys who jack off to runway models are ****ed in the head? I also like lesbians. Does that mean that straight women are unsexy?

    Who are any of us to judge other people for what they are into? Consenting adults doing what they please is only our business if they let us watch or participate. Beyond that, you are just wasting your mental energy trying to get them to conform to a lifestyle that makes you feel more comfortable with yourself.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  18. Dr. Mario

    Dr. Mario Fapstronaut

    All fetishes are not created equal. There are harmless fetishes, then there are destructive fetishes.
    This unquestionably falls under the second category.
     
  19. plzrlzme

    plzrlzme Fapstronaut

    55
    41
    18
    Because . . . ?

    The part about him sharing her private photos without her consent is troubling and probably illegal. He needs to come clean about that. But that doesn't seem to be what most commenters are focusing on. Neither does the lack of communication, which is foundational to a healthy relationship, seem to be the source of much outcry. The majority of concern seems focused on her cheating and his response to it.

    He needs to talk to his wife about what he knows and what he is doing. I one hundred percent agree with anyone who makes that argument. Legally speaking, his wife appears to be the victim. I mean, I'm no lawyer, but I am relatively certain that is an accurate assessment. If we are going to pass judgment, let's at least use some.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2019
    need4realchg and hardowner like this.
  20. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    1,787
    5,061
    143
    What made me angry is not the fetish itself, because at the start of the thread, OP sounds like he wants to do something about it. It is his wife, he finds her attractive and loves her so I can see why he would not want to do anything drastic in fear of losing that, so he tries to just "take advantage" of the situation by pleasuring himself with it. What made me lose control is the fact that he came asking for help, and instead of paying attention to what others said about his situation, he just used that to dive further into the problem. He asked for helo but didn't really wanted it, so he made us all lose our time trying to help him. I have dealt with this kind of people before and it doesn't matter what you do, they won't get better because they like their misery being a source for attention.

    Also you like chubby girls in stockings too? Let us be friends.
     
    TimeToQuitNow, plzrlzme and hardowner like this.

Share This Page