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just about to start!

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by callel, May 17, 2019.

  1. callel

    callel Fapstronaut

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    hi, I'm 21, nonbinary (he/they), I'm currently a student and I've decided that I need to really re-evaluate porn/porn-adjacent use in my life. I basically started watching porn when I was around 9/10 and trying to imitate a lot of the things I saw, even though I was too young to actually get off (fucked up! I know) & I was lucky that nothing ever happened to me, but I was desperate for attention and up to when I was like 13 I was pretending to be older to get attention from older men ://

    my porn use is actually so much better than it used to be. Up until a couple of years ago it was destroying my relationship with my body and my sexuality, distorting the view of intimacy I wanted but couldn't have with other people & really affecting me morally and psychologically (I hate the porn industry & think it's evil but also I couldn't stop watching it). this cycle continued for a long time, I was constantly telling myself that I should stop, it made me feel so ashamed and disgusting but I would always eventually justify it somehow and end up giving in.

    I now haven't watched porn in about a year and a half (!) & while I still see sexualised images of people all over the internet, I don't click links and I don't actively look for them. my current worry, however, is that I've substituted porn for other types of stimulation, like reading erotica or listening to erotic audios. I don't think that i feel the same compulsion to use them/repeat the PMO cycle, but since I've convinced myself it's "healthy" I just want to know that I can stop if I want to and that it really is different. I'm especially concerned because I whenever I've tried I haven't been able to orgasm without some sort of stimulation of that kind.

    I have exams over the next couple of months, so my challenge for myself is 90 days (a bit ambitious, I know, lol) without any kind of erotic material, without any kind of masturbation or orgasm. I'm not sexually active (messed up relationship with my body & sexuality) but if I somehow meet someone and feel comfortable enough to have sex with them within 90 days, that would be allowed.

    I plan to start today (Sat 18th May) & would massively appreciate any support and/or advice
     
    Out of the mess likes this.
  2. Xen

    Xen Fapstronaut

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    Hi, callel

    My goal (90 days starting today) is pretty much the same.

    All the best!
     
    callel likes this.
  3. Hello! Welcome to the squad. You're in good company here, all us just wanting better for ourselves. We got this
     
    callel likes this.
  4. callel

    callel Fapstronaut

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    Good luck to you as well!
     
  5. callel

    callel Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the encouragement!
     

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