Nofap has just made me want to see Escorts

Hmmmm I'm going to say naaaaah

By all accounts it's underwhelming, and can become problematic in many ways. I'm sure there are many here with experience in that realm who will have something to offer from their own perspective.

Welcome to the forum! I'd honestly recommend just continuing to grind away. Do you crave intimacy as well, or do you just want a sexual experience?

 

Fair enough mate, it's good that you can be honest about that! So many people pursue relationships when they just want sex- I've done it, doesn't work out so well, hahah... I'm sure there will be other members with lived experience who can provide some perspective. Take care!

 

I was slightly older than you when I decided to see my first escort (27 to tell the truth, and I'm also in a country where it's legal). My recommendation to you is not to do it. It can develop into an addiction of it's own, which can cause problems of it's own. It's also a gateway right back to porn. In fact, I'd recommend MO without porn as a way to eliminate the temptation to see escorts. If you can't MO without porn, then you're not really craving the sexual release all that much, you're just craving the rush. Trust my experience on this one. One day you will lose your virginity, you will have sex for the first time. And when it happens, you'll be thinking something like "Wait... that's it?" About the only thing that changed when I paid some escort (whose name I can't even remember) some money to take away my virginity was that my wallet was now lighter. That's really all that will change. Sex is about the most overrated human experience there is.

You're better off to focus your efforts on meeting some girl who might actually be into it with you (that will almost certainly make the sex better when it happens). Until then, save your money. Start to value yourself. Don't just give away sex and money cheaply because "I wanna see what it's like". Instead, save those things for people and opportunities that are worthwhile. And if you want some tips on actually finding the woman to lose your virginity with, read this thead: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/loneliness-the-way-out.232185/

Good luck.

 

Your problem is that you're too desperate. I can tell that just from reading your post. You're trying to make EVERY interaction somehow lead to sex, and that's not how the world works. It sounds like on a deep level you still believe the bullshit that porn projects (i.e sex is amazing, everything else is worthless, having an actual conversation with a woman is a waste of time because sex is the only thing that matters). Let me tell you, I was exactly where you are. It led me into a world of wasted opportunities, an addiction to seeing escorts (that led me to seeing transgender escorts, risking STDs, thousands of dollars wasted and even risking my personal safety in foreign countries). This is exactly where you are headed. I know you'll tell me I was an idiot for doing those things and you're so much smarter than that. Well, I thought the same thing too.

"Talk to the girl next to you" is probably the best advice you could take. For one thing, it will help you realise that there really is so much more to women than just sex. You'll get over your "cripping anxiety" (experience really is the greatest source of courage there is), and you might just learn something. Do this for about two years while consistently staying off porn the whole time, then get back to us with the results.

 

I dont judge those that use escorts or the escorts themselves, in fact i think they should legalise it, but i wouldnt recommend it fella.

Remember, vast majority of escorts would really rather be doing something else for a living, its damaging and demeaning for both parties involved and it aint the sex your after, its the intimacy, which no matter how enthusiastic she is you always know is manufactured.

 

P actresses and escorts aren't that different, it is still fake because de don't get to interact with actual women. In both cases, watching P or having S with escorts, we're still ignoring them as human beings. We don't know what got them to be there on the first place or their issues, all we see is our pleasure, nothing else. So... no, bro. If you want to met an actual girl you need to stop needing their company to be happy. Develop your interests and keep moving foward.
I send you my best wishes

 

Okay, so you already have friendly interactions with women at work, that's awesome. Find an opportunity to ask someone who you trust at work, how you can start getting to know girls on a deeper level. Women are this wonderful, enigmatic presence in the world but at the end of the day we're all equal, they're not a different species or anything. If you can find the confidence, to confide in a trusted workmate that you're lonely (make it clear you're not propositioning her,) and that you want to explore intimacy with another human but don't know how. That'll help, honestly. There are plenty of girls out there who don't want relationships, but do want the experience of intimacy.

About 4 years ago I met a girl who was in a similar position to you, a virgin in her 20s. We met doing an organic gardening course and when it was over, started hanging out. She confessed that she didn't want a relationship at all, but found me attractive which is why she was hanging out with me. We awkwardly navigated the whole, how do we feel about doing the thing? issue, decided we were both on the same page, and proceeded to do the thing. I was happy because she didn't, to my knowledge, regret the experience at all; in fact I think she enjoyed it but ultimately it confirmed for her that she's not massively into sex. She appreciated that she lost her virginity in a safe space (she had some trauma from her upbringing,) and at all times had control over the experience. It's out there man, it does happen. It's just frustrating and it seems impossible.

The reality is though, that encounter started through being friends and having mutual interests. You never know, one of the girls you talk to at work might think you're cute but is just as painfully shy as you are. It's weird, we grow up being taught that sex is taboo but it really isn't, it fucks us up to be taught that, but pretty much everybody wants to do the thing and every one of those people, at times, just wants to have sex and not be in a relationship.

 

I don't recommend dating people at work. Sure, the girls at work are good to talk to, and good to practice your lines on (if the girl at work finds it funny, chances are the girl outside of work will too), but never shit where you nest. What this guy really needs is some kind of interest in life outside of work and sex. Some way to actually meet people he can talk to so he can get over his anxieties by working through them. The truth is that sex is neither taboo nor particularly special. Yeah, sure, it's a biological drive, but so is taking a dump, and nobody gets excited over that. In truth, the only reason sex was considered "taboo" back in the day was to prevent unwanted pregnancies. These days we have contraceptives for that.

 

Don't do it. worse decision you will regret it. Paying for sex is not ok

 

If you've made up your mind that's fair enough. I was much younger when going, so I'm not sure how it'll work out for you. But you've set your mind on going and seeing how it is there isn't much anyone can do to change that from personal experience. I'd say truly be careful with money, because that environment and some girls are basically really good con artists. It is true what some say, you may deeply regret it, or you may regret it and use it as a learning experience. The decision is up to you. Try asking someone in real life you trust for their opinions also.

 

Your not alone brother!!! am 21

No brother still keep nofap!!!

 

My opinion is save your money, further embarrassment and shame, your health, personal safety and mental well being and stay-away-from-prostitution-traps.

I speak from experience that they do not add to your body of sexual knowledge. The things one learns one must keep secret, because you can not recount an experience with a prostitute as if it were a past relationship, to anyone in a conversation. So your desire to be normal just like everyone else will be in vain.

The truth is there are a lot of virgins, many more than you currently believe.

And there's no such thing as normal. Special is what we all want so it's better to be unique.

 

Hey Monk,

I saw my first escort 2 years ago and now I can't stop visiting them, when you cross that line there is no going back, your brain will know that escorts are now an option, your motivation to actually develop yourself to become attractive will fade away because you can now simply pay for it and skip the hard work. It has led me to doing some things I regret, like eventually escalating to transexual escorts and having unprotected sex in a 3rd world country, people around me think I am so disciplined and responsible, they would have never thought me capable of doing this things and neither did I but this burning desire can take over and you become someone else.

It looks like you already made up your mind but I hope you reconsider, seeing an escort is not a solution to any of your problems, your mind may be convinced that it is but you will be disappointed and regretful after the deed, you will feel dirty for having done it, I know I did, I couldn't wait to go home and shower after the first time I did it, I felt disgusted... until the next time I felt lonely and did it again.

I hope someone had stoped me from doing it which is why I am posting here to try and convince you it doesn't lead to anything good. If you want a taste of how much of a struggle it is to stop, have a look at my journal.

 

Please stay away from escorts. Spend this time working on your self improvement and you will eventually find someone who you can have a meaningful relationship with. Escorts are NOT the answer. I along with several others on this site have regretted falling into this trap. Feed the Mind is correct....once you cross this line it can become as addicting as any drug out there and the fucked up thing is that you feel shame, guilt and like a piece of shit afterwards. Stay strong!