Nofap is ruining sex

Warning possible trigger...
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Hello,

I don't know if somebody could help me with an advice, but at least I could share my struggles..

I have a problem with nofap, actually reducing the sex quality.
The problem is that if there are more than three days, of me not PMO, I struggle to last long enough with my wife.
If I O every other day, however I am able to perform 15-20 minutes, which is enough for her.
The problem is we are making sex 1-2 times a week, which means, there would be at least 4-7 days, between sessions.
That means I would not be able to last long enough, without PMO the day before.

I know this should not be such a big problem.. at least for most couples, but I am "fortunate", to have a wife which orgasms exclusively from vaginal stimulation.

According to her, the clitoral stimulation feels bad (from tickling to pain), so even when she masturbates she does not stimulate her clit, at least not directly.
What makes her excited however, is the friction feeling in the vaginal opening, combined with a non-frictional pressure on her clit, which is why she likes so much missionary.

We tried manual stimulation, but she says, fingers does not feel nearly as good, and the pressure on clit is not enough...
No sex toys either...


So to recap

Each session I should be able to sustain moderate tempo for 10-20 minutes in order to give her orgasm, and no backup plan.
Manual/Oral stimulation is a no go.
We have 20-30 min at most, so no second round + I need at least half an hour for erection and at least half a day for genuine desire on my side.
If I stop in order to stop my orgasm, or change position, I stop my wife's orgasm as well, and we start all over.

Last time I decided to try sex after a 8 day streak (without jerking off the previous day), and I lasted only few seconds.
I could have stopped, and continue very slow, but the tempo was too slow for her, so we decided to just let myself finish, and end the session.

When I told her that I've not masturbated since the last time we had sex, she was very surprised, and encouraged me to masturbate more often.

So I don't know what to do.
I like sex, and would like to have it more often, but I don't want tо rely on PMO in order to be able to perform + my wife actually encourages me to PMO.

Since I started nofap, I started to rely on drugs to last long enough, which I think is actually worse than PMO.

 

Thanks for the suggestions guys.
There are a lot of things worth considering.

Do you think it's possible to be able to have, even after 10 or more days without sexual stimulation?
Even the idea sounds impossible to me. My longest streak was 30 days, and I almost constantly felt, like I am about to explode.
Maybe just, abstaining from PMO is not enough, without a certain mental shift, but its something worth considering.

Unfortunately since giving birth, couple of years ago, her sex drive is very low, and I am afraid, if we stop, having sex, it will perish completely.

We don't have a lot of time. Since the birth of our child, sex is something in between 20-30 min tops.
I need at least half an hour to get second erection, but even then, I just don't have the desire for a second round.
Maybe porn is responsible, for me not wanting to do it more then once a day. Second thing worth considering. Thanks

We tried, but she does't like the vibrations (maybe it has to do with her overly sensitive clit).
Also she mostly like the combination of vaginal stimulation with pressure on her pelvis (maybe that's why she likes mostly standard S in missionary).
I guess strap on, would be the only toy she would like.

P.S.
Thanks for the input. Now after reading my responses to you suggestions, I realized that, there are some deeper issues, than me not lasting long enough.
I don't know if I could manage then on my own, however. Unfortunately my wife is very sensitive on that topic, and every try to talk to her, makes her defensive, and the discussion ends.

 

Unfortunately changing positions, proved to be too distracting for my wife, and sometimes ruins her buildup, so we have to either restart, or call it quits.
I too use distraction thought. I mostly think about repairing my bike or solve mathematical problems, but that kills the pleasure from S.
I would prefer never O in my life again but experiencing fully sex, rather then, distracting myself, while doing the moves mechanically, with couple seconds of pleasure in the end.

That's what I am experimenting right now with. If the timing and quantity are just wight, am am able to keep just enough sensitivity, so to be able to perform, without going over the edge too easily.

I remember when I was a teen, and just started PMO, It would take me half an hour of vigorous M to be able to O.
I wish I could be like that again, but there are a lot of habits I need to unlearn.
Fortunately I was never heavy PMO abuser. I would PM almost everyday, but O only a couple of times per week.
So I am not that hooked to O.
But I am very used to get fast to the edge, and then just edge for couple of days. Which is easy when you do PMO, but is bad for S with real person.
Also I, never liked production P, and was always more into homemade amateur P, so didn't grow up with very skewed expectations about women and S.
But nevertheless, every couple is different, and what's good for the couples on the screen does not necessarily is good for us.
That's why I put my faith in nofap, to help me unlearn, these bad PMO habits.


I have the following plan:
1) No P at all cost - Although I didn't think it was that harmful for me, I just realized that, the whole sex obsession with my wife, is partly due, to envying other people for their sex practices, while at the same time no paying attention to the things, we do right. Also P is artificially increasing my sex drive, creating huge gap between my wife's drive and mine.I also realized that sometimes, I think I want to do S, but its actually not real desire, rather than compulsion to be like the couples on the screen.

(Things i envy other people are: Oral (both receiving and giving), Changing positions, Rough S..., Woman initiating sex - she is rarely in the mood to initiate, Foreplay - foreplay is too boring for her)
(Things I forget to give credit about: My wife doesn't need oral, because she can O very easy from PIV. No needing foreplay, makes quickies I lot more enjoyable for both of us. S is not rough, but the tempo and moves she likes are very passionate)

2) MO no more than 2 times a week, and gradually reduce it to 1 per week, or 1 every two weeks. I really like the energy, and tension I get from not O often, but the PE I am experiencing, is very demotivating. I hope that gradually reducing O, would let my body adapt to the more excited state, and in the end, be able to perform without relying on MO.

3) Learn how to route, all that energy, to strengthening the bond with my wife, and also to my hobbies and experiencing life in general.

Thanks for all the input guys. The different perspectives, gave me the opportunity to see my problems from different angles.