Thinking about not thinking about sex

Meditation seems to be the best counter to obsessive thought cycles like that, but it takes some time to become accustomed to defaulting to mindfulness rather than continuing to obsess. Do you have a practice? Buddhist mindfulness is the default entry point for most people, it's secular, it's highly effective, it takes a while but I think it will help you. It also helps one slowly become more accountable, ie, at the end of the day it is ones' mind and ones' mind only that causes relapse and obsessive thoughts. External things don't help but it really is ones' own internal conditioning that causes 99% of the difficulty in maintaining abstinence. Take care!

 

Acknowledge the thought, say to yourself "there it is" and see it like its just "something" and say to yourself "it will pass"

In my experience fighting intrusive thoughts make them stronger. Recognize, acknowledge and dismiss

 

jump in a cold shower.

In time it actually gets easier, especially once you hit your flatline

 

This I have just begun to realise.

 

100%

Ya know I used to get intrusive thoughts about hurting my loved ones. Just like I would somehow lose control of my body and beat them to a pulp or stab them or something. It used to torture me day and night. Then one day I thought to myself “I’ll worry about these thoughts the day I actually wake up in a puddle of someone’s blood. Until then, these are just strange thoughts floating by.”

It’s helped me tremendously.

 

My latest trick is when the thought/fantasy/memory hits me, I say '(my name) doesn't do this', and I repeat and sometimes do something else. I read that using the third-person helps one disassociate.
Only the second day of this full 'monk mode' but it has already made me realise just how much I live in a land of fantasy and memory.

 

Also, in terms of intrusive sexual thoughts; cutting out social media and other triggers will help immensely.

 

If I tell you not to think about a white elephant, you probably will think about a white elephant. If I tell you to think about a pink giraffe, you probably won't think about the white elephant anymore.
Focus on the things you can do to replace your habits and not on abstention itself.

 

Meditation can be a tricksy hobbits... In the middle of a session just before I became consumed, utterly consumed by very realistic, unshakeable fantasies... Unsure how to proceed now, fuck!

 

I know how powerful those thoughts are at the time. What I find helpful is playing games or thinking of things that take alot of concentration. What's your favorite sport team ? Mine is hockey. Go leafs go! So when I notice those sexual thoughts I go " OK NHL team that I'm not too familiar with it follow. I'm going to list every player I know is on that team. You really have to concentrate .

 

Hi @Drew15,
I get you man it is frusterating but when you are aware of it and try to overcome it you are on the right path !

think about it you recognise those situation ! my advice work on reconise those thoghts as fast as possible and then whenever they pop just do somthing else for example if possible cold shower will work it out or just do some activity doesn't matter what you choose if still it is getting even worse go for a run I think this is the best medicine !!!

don't give up man. rebooting is a start of a beautyful life and i think the best way to live.

good luck man

 

Try and stay busy. Create a schedule think about your schedule and sticking to it.

 

Молитва помазе исто....

 

You are absolutely right that trying to push these thoughts away will only make them come back even stronger and beg for your attention more. That's why it rarely works in the first place.
The best thing to do when this happens is to take a few deep breaths, accepting that these thoughts are there, thank your conscious mind for it and just come to terms with the thoughts being nothing but just thoughts flowing through you.
In this way, these thoughts will crave your attention less and slowly fade away by themselves.