We First Make Our Habits Then Our Habits Make Us - My Journal

DAY 82 of my life-bettering journey: Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Intermittent Fasting (82 days so far): I got back on rails. Today was successful; I fasted for about 16 hours and it was relatively easy.

Morning Cold Showers (44 days so far): I somewhat learned to enjoy my Cold Showers. They're uncomfortable but refreshing at the same time.

Quitting Porn (20 days so far): I calmly dealt with a few urges today. I don't want to watch porn again. What happened yesterday impacted my mood; I recognize my mistake but I don't face myself with blame.

 

Hello Mr.eleven, how are you doing buddy?

Sometimes, I just squash urges like little bugs. Other times, they're so powerful that I have zero resistance to them. I'm still figuring out how to deal with them when they start draining me. For the moment, I'm trying to keep myself busy and avoid triggers.

Thank you and stay strong!

 

DAY 83 of my life-bettering journey: Thursday, June 20, 2019

Intermittent Fasting (83 days so far): Today, I skipped breakfast and fasted for about 16 hours. It was actually hard but I managed to do it. I haven't been consistent with my habit lately so I expect a few days of hardship.

Morning Cold Showers (45 days so far): I took my usual morning shower. I'm already halfway toward meeting my objective of 90 days.

Quitting Porn (00 days so far): After some reflexion, I decided to reset my counter. As porn thoughts kept haunting me after my relapse, I felt like I needed to organize my thoughts and make a fresh start. There is no doubt that quitting porn is by far the hardest challenge of the three.

 

DAY 84 of my life-bettering journey: Friday, June 21, 2019

Intermittent Fasting (84 days so far): I fasted for about 14 hours today but it won't be counted as the minimum I set was 16 hours. It was a mistake.

Morning Cold Showers (46 days so far): As usual, I took my Morning Cold Shower. It was great!

Quitting Porn (01 days so far): Starting from scratch, again. I had some porn thoughts in the afternoon but they weren't strong. I've actually decided to take a portable notebook with me to jot down my thoughts and feelings whenever an urge strikes. I did it in the past and it worked to some extent.

 

DAY 85 of my life-bettering journey: Saturday, June 22, 2019

Intermittent Fasting (85 days so far): I fasted for about 17 hours today. I don't know what exactly changed, but I'm feeling so positive about Intermittent Fasting, after 2 weeks of struggles and uncertainty!

Morning Cold Showers (47 days so far): Another great morning shower! Everything is fine so far with this habit.

Quitting Porn (02 days so far): I didn't think about porn at all today. I'm progressively getting back on rails after my last relapse.

 

DAY 86 of my life-bettering journey: Sunday, June 23, 2019

Intermittent Fasting (86 days so far): Another family gathering prevented me from achieving the day. I decided to stop worrying about missed days that much. I face myself with so much blame for things that aren't under my control. I'm not perfect and I managed to stay in this challenge for about 3 months. I'm ready to keep fighting but if I miss a day every now and then, it's not a big deal. The most important thing is to stick with the habit and avoiding to abandon it all.

Morning Cold Showers (48 days so far): Took a looong shower today! I didn't feel cold at all.

Quitting Porn (03 days so far): A sudden and strong urge stroke me around the afternoon, but I switched my thinking so fast. It was so powerful that my heart started racing and a wave of sudden excitement flowed through my body. When I think about these signs, I come to the conclusion that I'm really addicted.

 

DAY 87 of my life-bettering journey: Monday, June 24, 2019

Intermittent Fasting (87 days so far): I fasted for about 17 hours today. It was relatively easy. One extra benefit of Intermittent Fasting is that it helps me go to bed early. Eating dinner is often associated with social gatherings, which lead to sleeping late. Also, eating at night keeps my body active (stomach function, etc.) which usually delays my sleeping time.

Morning Cold Showers (49 days so far): Took my Cold Shower today. I actually felt a bit of a resistance, but I managed to take it.

Quitting Porn and Masturbation (00 days so far): I changed my challenge to include masturbation and reset my counter. I tried tackling only porn but failed because the two are often associated. One leads to another forming somewhat a vicious cycle. Many people here advised me that it won't work but I gave it a try. Now I'm willing to eradicate porn and masturbation, but that puts me in front of a big dilemma. As I explained previously, I don't have a sexual outlet and having sex is not an option for the moment nor in the near future. I'm wondering what can I do to release tension when it builds up. I've experienced it in the past ; not having an orgasm for long time leads me to a profound depression and inability to do anything whatsoever. I've seen people succeed in PMO Hard Mode and do great streaks, but I'm honestly afraid of failure. Well, I don't have choice, I'll just try.

 

DAY 88 of my life-bettering journey: Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Intermittent Fasting (88 days so far): Didn't take notes.

Morning Cold Showers (50 days so far): Didn't take notes.

Quitting Porn and Masturbation (01 days so far): Didn't take notes.

 

DAY 89 of my life-bettering journey: Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Intermittent Fasting (89 days so far): Didn't take notes.

Morning Cold Showers (51 days so far): Didn't take notes.

Quitting Porn and Masturbation (00 days so far): Didn't take notes.

 

DAY 90 of my life-bettering journey: Thursday, June 27, 2019

Intermittent Fasting (90 days so far): Didn't take notes.

Morning Cold Showers (52 days so far): Didn't take notes.

Quitting Porn and Masturbation (01 days so far): Didn't take notes.

 

DAY 91 of my life-bettering journey: Friday, June 28, 2019

Intermittent Fasting (91 days so far): Today will be the last day of my intermittent fasting journaling. After a long reflexion about this habit I decided to stop. Not completely, just the schedule. I've figured out that doing it daily is highly beneficial in terms of health, but it interferes negatively with my social life. In my culture, getting around the table (be it with family or friends) to eat is necessary; it's a sacred moment of sharing. During 91 days, I felt amazing results, but I felt isolated at the same time. Now I won't give up Intermittent Fasting completely, I'll adjust the schedule to fasting 2 days a week ; which is commonly called fasting 5:2. Finally, I don't think journaling will be necessary for this new program as it's just 2 days, so I'll just stop and see how it goes.

Morning Cold Showers (53 days so far): Didn't take notes.

Quitting Porn and Masturbation (02 days so far): Didn't take notes.

 

DAY 92 of my life-bettering journey: Saturday, June 29, 2019

Morning Cold Showers (54 days so far): Looking forward to hit 90 days with 0 missed days. I know I can do it.

Quitting Porn and Masturbation (03 days so far): It's going well so far, except for some sudden (but weak) urges that strike from time to time. I'm currently doing my best to avoid any sexual arousing content including casual kisses in movies, etc.

 

DAY 93 of my life-bettering journey: Sunday, June 30, 2019

Morning Cold Showers (55 days so far): I took my morning Cold Shower. Great feelings, as always.

Quitting Porn and Masturbation (00 days so far): I'm really ashamed from myself to say that I relapsed again. I'm also ashamed from people that are reading my thread to find inspiration. One of my journaling purposes is to encourage and inspire my fellow fapstronauts, but here I'm letting them down again. I'm sorry. Now I'm going to try again, one more time, with no intention to give up. Starting from tomorrow, I'll be setting weekly goals to NO PMO Challenge. My focus will be on making it to Sunday without porn, masturbation and orgasm. If I succeed, I'll focus on the following week.

Quitting Refined Sugar (00 days so far): This is my newest habit. After doing daily intermittent fasting for 3 consecutive months (now I switched to 5:2), I became more aware of my eating habits. One of the things that stroke me during this journey, was my sugar intake. I consume so much refined sugar, especially in beverages, and that's no good. So I decided to put my health first and eradicate white sugar from my list. I know it'll be hard but nothing comes easy when it comes to personal growth. Tomorrow will be my first day. I'm planning to have one cheat day per week (where I'll allow myself to eat sugar) but I'm still not sure. We'll see with time.

 

Hi my friend, I hope you're doing great!

Unfortunately, I relapsed again. I feel really trapped in this but I won't give up.

I'm reading your thread regularly. You're doing a great work so far. Keep going!

 

Thank you mr. eleven for such encouraging words. You're totally right, progress is never linear; I tend to forget that and think in a perfectionist way sometimes.

Hope you all the best in your undertakings.

Thanks again!

 

DAY 94 of my life-bettering journey: Monday, July 01, 2019

Morning Cold Showers (56 days so far): I took my daily cold shower today. It was a long one (about 10 minutes)!

Quitting Porn and Masturbation (01 days so far): The first day of my new streak. I feel a bit worried because of fear of relapsing again. I'm telling myself it's perfectly normal to feel that way. I observe my sentiments with no judgement.

Quitting Refined Sugar (01 days so far): The first day was pretty hard. I fasted for about 21 hours today and when I had my first meal, it was sugar-free (only natural sugar from fruits, etc.). After a few hours I felt weakness and dizziness, with intense cravings to eat some sweet stuff.

 

DAY 95 of my life-bettering journey: Tuesday, July 02, 2019

Morning Cold Showers (57 days so far): Took my usual Cold Shower today. The weather is not stable these days. Showers can be very cold on some days and not so cold on other days.

Quitting Porn (00 days so far): Didn't take notes.

Quitting Refined Sugar (02 days so far): My challenge is faced with resistance, especially from my loved ones. They tell me it's just a fad ; you'll not keep doing it ; sugar is necessary, etc. I feel down whenever I hear such things even though I know they say it spontaneously with no bad intention.