Does the label "porn addict" remain useful long into recovery?

It's a matter of opinion and it depends on the individual how they label themselves.

I look at myself as a recovering Porn addict, which puts it in a different category than say someone who is addicted yet not trying to recover. I don't think I'll ever cast it aside completely, because the addiction is so ingrained, with me at least.

I too have been over 1000 days, from February 2016 through to early this year.. Even during this period I didn't consider myself free of addiction, but I was (and still am) changing and fighting against its hold on my life.

Congratulations on getting past 1000 days, I believe that is something worth celebrating, and it's great that you still have a focus on being free of this problem as well as helping others.

To answer your question: I believe it is useful to have the label of recovering addict as long as you have the problem. Which in some cases, like my own, is forever.

 

@kropo82 Well, I suppose you can guess what option in the poll I voted for.

 

"Always an addict" is the most destructive thing ever invented in addiction programs. It chips away at your will power, quality of life and so much more and is detrimental to the recovery process.

You can certainly be severely addicted AND remain addicted for the rest of your life if you don't fix the problem.

The issue is that the current "abstinence only" approach to addiction is extremely flawed, the true treatment for an addiction is exposure therapy.

I've written how that applies to PMO addiction here: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...need-to-watch-porn-in-a-different-way.235748/

 

you're not an addict, youre (or were) a person with an addiction. 1000 days clean theres no way you're addicted. as soon as you stop PMOing, you're no longer an addict.

 

You're right I can see how that could be detrimental in the long run, but this isn't the only approach people use. This is not just about abstinence, it's about recovery. It's about undoing what the supernormal stimulus has done to our brains and lives by forming individual techniques to change that.

You can say it's flawed and in your case it may be, in the case of someone else it may not be flawed.

One approach is no better than another. I believe if something works for you go for it, but don't expect it to work for someone else. There is no silver bullet for this..

If you honestly believe one single method of recovery will help as a treatment for every person with this addiction, I don't agree.

You're free to have that opinion. I believe it can go either way, it can be either/and/or constructive or destructive, depending on the individual.

 

It's an interesting question and i think it depends on the individual and how they percieve the word 'addict'

For me personally, I am from the 12 step way of thinking. Disease of the mind and allergy of the body, now i know that might not be scientifically or medically correct but 12 steps is a moral psychology program not a technical scientific one. For me, it has worked wonders and instilled in me some helpful ways of thinking.

I will always be 'an addict' in that the way my brain deals with extreme stimulus like porn, drugs and alcohol will never change. The thing i CAN change is the choice whether to use or not. I've come to accept that it is like a person with a nut allergy who is also a nut addict if that makes sense.

I feel no shame in being an addict. the only shame i have is the things i did whilst i was in the throws of addiction. I've known many people who have really struggled with the concept that they might be an addict, mostly it's denial and self preservation but to others on the outside it's obvious. I think for many, the realisation that they may be an 'addict' conjours up an image of failure but in my eyes an addict who has overcome their bad ways is a success and let's face it we all fail our way to success.

In your conversation thread it mentions keeping the word addict in your mind keeps you addicted like a self fulfilling prophecy. For some people who are still in their early days of recovery and feeling defeatest and down trodden still then i agree that this mentality can lead to relapses because they might think 'well it's hopeless, i'm an addict' but further down the line something happens to those who recover successfully and the internal narrative changes to 'i can't do that, i'm an addict' when faced with temptation

 

To me this porn addiction is/ was a symptom. A symptom of a huge lack of love for myself, respect for myself, loneliness, not being able to ask for help, social awkwardness, unresolved grief and trauma, feelings of isolation, a skewed upbringing especially regarding sex education and sex as a normal,healthy activity and more... For me the focus is not on labelling myself a porn addict or bizarro porn guy jerking off to weird shit like a zombie. My focus is on the problems behind it. Of course doing no pmo for 90 days is going to be tough just because of the normal arousal states that happen and then it's really hard but can be overcome with will power and distraction. I'd rather label myself an ' in need of more love guy' or being a ' being kinder to myself addict'. For me that is the healthier approach and at the end of the day I think the most efficacious. And I guess that's what it comes down to, whatever works for you to get away from that mind killing,body rotting activity of fapping to porn like a monkey. Get some distance and time between you and the last time you were pmoing, Ive a step brother who was in the AA, he did have a serious drink problem and he did an incredible job of recovery and all that entails. But I felt so sorry for him that they have to forever be labelled an addict, an alcoholic. To me that mindset is all wrong though I do understand it's practicality. With some things you can't let your guard down and you have to remain vigilant. Bit I think there's a line between that state and being able to trust and rely on yourself that you won't relapse, that you are in charge and in control of your actions and behaviour. And I believe that ability all comes down to self love. These addictions are caused by a chronic lack of love, bottom line, a wish to hurt oneself with harmful behaviour, caused by shame and guilt, wherever that stems from.

 

You're free to have that opinion as well, it's just that you'd be incorrect. "Always and addict" is a very bad approach, exposure therapy is the only thing that really works. Abstinence just reinforces the reward. You can read more about it here https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...need-to-watch-porn-in-a-different-way.235748/

 

Personally, while currently I see myself as a recovering addict, when I feel healed enough, I'm hoping I'll put everything behind me and just consider myself a regular, normal person.

 

I'm closing in on 2 years. For me personally, as long as I keep coming here and think about porn, abstaining from it and all of that, I'm considering myself an addict. Because I was seriously addicted and the withdrawal hasn't been pretty.
I'm not considering nofap a safe haven or a crutch, but this website is definitely useful in that it provides insight and motivation to quit, at the same time I want to share experiences with others and provide them with the info they need.

Perhaps you could say that as long as you keep thinking about porn and keep coming back here, you're not completely out of the woods yet. Unless of course you keep coming back for fun and want to help out others, that's the direction I want to go in and I feel that I'm slowly getting there. But at the same time it's dangerous to think of yourself as completely recovered before the 3 or 4 year mark I would say. The brain just needs a really long time away from all that stimulation to completely reboot after a decade of almost daily use.

 

For me i have to keep reminding myself that i am indeed an addict. If i forget, and decide to 'look at just one' or that 'i can handle it now', i will right back where i started, with 0 days.

For me, i am an addict, for life.

 

I am an addict. I have had enormous streaks, with my personal best being 454 days. Yet here I am building a new streak. Tbh, it is a no brainer. I am diabetic; I am epileptic; I am a depressive. I perceive no weight with those labels. But I live with them and manage them.

 

Labeling anyone and especially yourself as an addict has such a negative connotation. No one should be called an addict, but rather a person with addiction problem. PMO addiction is just a highly dopamine rewarding deep learned behavior, like so many others. People are addicted to food, shopping, gambling, caffeine, nicotine, sex, alcohol, drugs, social media, internet... you name it. Why would you shame yourself by calling yourself an addict once you have gained control over your compulsion? You should be calling yourself a strong person who had problems with addictive compulsive behavior in the past, but has overcome it by self-discipline and determination. We should always stay humble and vigilant, BUT also be proud that we managed to climb out of the PMO rabbit hole. We deserve a medal not an addict label!