what is the one thing almost all our relapses have in common?

Youre absolutely right man. The internet is my source of destruction. I have to make a plan how to get rid of it.

 

I tried to get rid of as much technology and internet as i could, problem is, i just need it from time to time. But i have noticed how much time i spend doing useless shit there and how it definetely doesnt help with doing nofap.
But ill try to do a few weeks completely without internet now (only got some data on my phone for important stuff, but its not enough to pmo or watch youtube, so it should helpt)

 

I'm confused. You gave up the internet? Didn't pay your bills, send an email, receive a message, do banking, make a medical appointment, use it at work, watch Netflix, make posts on this site, or do any of the things that bring us into contact with the world wide web?
Must have been a challenging three months.

 

For me the most common thing is a false confidence over how much I can control myself. These last two months Ive been terrible about exerting any sort of discipline. I can relapse over and over, but I wont let it stop me from trying to improve.

 

Boys, internet is not a problem. Technology is not a problem.
The problem is your inability to live without artificial stimulation delivered by them.

The solution is simple. Try to find another things to do. Probably, you all live in wealthier part of the world. You have plenty of possibilities to utilize your free time in valuable way.
Just think about it, do what you want and that's it.

Stop with those memes, youtube, tinders and so on. Most likely you're overdosing them. There is nothing wrong with relaxing watching videos in the internet. The problem is when you're spending whole evening and half of the night on such things.
Start a journal. Try to write down any periods when you're using computer, and you'll see how much time it consumes. If you'll realize that, there is high probability you'll start changing something. It works for me and I recommend it to you.
After that I started to write down things I'd like to do but didn't have enough time because of that internet.

 

I can agree 100%. Ditch the internet for at least a month if you can. Unfortunately many of us have jobs that demand from us to stay connected. If I'd have to start recovery today from scratch, I'd take a even more radical steps. I'd take a month off work, exchange my smartphone for "a stupid-phone" and go for a month long hike/pilgrimage. Something like Camino de Santiago comes to my mind. 6-10H daily walk will do miracles for your body/head and make withdrawal symptoms much easier to bear as you'll get so exhausted your brain will switch to survival mode, creating plenty of endorphins and natural opioids on the way, so dopamine deficiency from stopping PMO will not be a problem. It will also be so much easier to continue with your recovery once you come home as you'll be able to better reflect what your needs really are (social media and P will definitely not be on top of that list anymore ).

 

I agree with that. I deleted my social media (except for snapchat) but now i feel like i'll also have to delete that. Although, i like seeing my family members and friends on there it's becoming very sexualized with public people now being on your main page.

 

it's that basic logic of abstinence. Of course ultimately you can't abstain from life, it's just a reflection of needing to make distinctions like you can't just continuously not have food or a lot of foods. Even if a lot or most of it out there is crap a lot of it is very helpful.

And of course most people are under the impression it's only about the content, it's not. See a few Marshall McLuhan quotes to start with.

 

How does it feel to be approaching 80 days? I envy that achievement. Congratulations.

 

I'm not focusing on the count, I feel better than when I had 6 months before though. It's about what we do with the time for me.

 

I agree with your viewpoint. I have often found that when I don't focus on the "days" I begin to forget it ever happened. Today I did fall. I was an avid reader. I enjoyed reading behavior and psychology. It's always interesting to me on how we humans are defined by our habits. Although, this is one habit I plan on eradicating. I for one will try the prayer, abstinence from unnecessary internet use, and reading route.

 

In part I agree. Perhaps I haven't committed myself like I should. I believe I've relapsed enough. It brings me much disappointment and shame. I know that are millions of people that struggle with this and I long to be able to overcome so that I could be of counsel to others.

 

I remember the post a few months ago where you relapsed and said that if you relapse again you'd delete your account. But your account is still here and you're going stronger than ever. It is inspirational to see this kind of success in real time.