Texting girls - serious issues

Hi all,

I'm male, 19 years.
When I was younger (from about 11) I was initially addicted to sex scenes in music videos, then films and gradually to porn. However I never really masturbated to it. Then one time (when I was 17) I did what I had heard from word of mouth - to a really good looking p**nstar.

However the real issues came after I began using sexting as a vice. I always used to get semi-erections when messaging girls (I was never really a social person and didn't get to meet girls often). However one day (when I was 18) I PMO'd to a girl on instagram I was talking to. It soon became an addiction, I went off p*rn as it became creepy to me. But in reality I was replacing one addiction with another. For the last 2-3 years I have been consumed by it; going through phases where I would 'edge' or sext the girl(s), becoming reclusive, until I got slow replies or rejection (probably from trying to steer the conversation sexually all the time), then I would bash out of frustration. After I bashed for 2-3 days, possibly 4-5 times in a row - until it became painful to even get a semi, I would delete all social media out of guilt and abstain for maybe a month before sliding back into it (becoming too comfy or simply finding an excuse to go back on it).

I lost the ability to get erections, even PMO was with semi-erection. I went through cycles of starting and stopping for about 1-2 years. However recently I managed to break through: I deleted everything except whatsapp and I went 60 days without PMO. I got my erections back, even had wet dreams and strong libido for real girls. I thought I was in the clear but gave in as I was desperate to have s*x (I'm still a virgin) , I used to make excuses to go out so I could meet girls, with little success as I was nervous (I'm not bad looking so I knew that wasn't the issue). Out of frustration I ended up looking for local girls I had on my snapchat, then craving messages again, then simply sexting any girl that would reply. Eventually I PMO'd again.

I have been trying to fix up again but after going to the club with my friend I met a girl (where strangely I was able to get a semi-erection while talking to her, I thought I'd lose attraction to real girls after PMO'ing). She's on holiday at the moment, which I hoped would give me a chance to recover so we can have s*x when she gets back. I deleted social media, but I found myself getting h*rny (with constant semis) while texting her as she likes to flirt and text all the time. I don't want to cut her off but I began craving her messages and reinstalling social media to satisfy myself while I wait for her reply. I know I sound like a beast but really I just want to be normal. Becoming reclusive has made me sad and lost connections with family and friends as well as going sleep late and being late for work. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm addicted and I have three questions for which I need answers: 1 Do I cut the girl off (and inevitably any other girl I meet that wants to text a lot) 2 Is it worth trying to have s*x at this point and 3 Should I quit social media forever? I feel like deleting social media doesn't really address the issue if the same thing happens when I reinstall it.

Thanks in advance

 

Yooo thanks for your message bro
I agree for 2 and 3 but for 1 : These days every girl wants to text - like I met that girl at the club, but she'll still lose interest if I just ignore her messages. It's hard to avoid

 

Yo sorry to come back but this shit is killing me man.

I tried doing a month of NoFap, was working alright. But when a girl texted me to meetup I got aroused again.

I can't even text girls anymore because if they flirt and I get aroused, I just lose night/morning wood completely and I'm meant to be seeing a girl this week. I don't even know if I can even have s*x and it's stressing me out. Like tf is the point of meeting girls if i can't even text them.

I'm losing sleep over this shit
Edit: is it possible this is all just psychological?

 

I think you're right about calling - but my mother is too overprotective for me to talk to anyone without her listening in - not really a comfortable setting to talk to her.

Anyway my situation atm - like you said i've been messaging her 2/3 times a day (but getting slightly aroused at times) and getting on with my life: I don't really feel addicted. I've been doing this for about a month now. I got my first brief full erection in a week at night in bed (but while fantasising a bit).

She's coming over on Friday but i'm worried I might have PIED from sexting/subconcious fantasising. I hope primaljade is right that my reactions are just normal.

So should I go ahead?