Question to those who've relapsed many times

It was just the things I was into, a lot of fetish/femdom related material is what had a grip on me for a while until I beat it.

 

I started getting complacent. When 1-2 weeks streaks started becoming easy, instead of going on I thought to myself once every once in a while was fine. Then streaks started becoming shorter, until I was updating day 1 and then thinking to myself "nah I'll start tomorrow".
Somehow, it took me a whileto realize I was back deep in the addiction

 

I'm having my first relapse streak of all time, to cut a long story short I started cold turkey in january 2014 and lasted two full years hard mode. Then I caved in and PMOed joyfully for three years and now that I want to go back to it I'm hit by a wall after about one to two weeks. First streak was 40 days then on and off one to two weeks and to answer your question I've found that my number trigger is purely and simply boredom, having nothing better to do. Even more than stress and not having a valid reason not to PMO, which I had before because my grandma had died etc. Now I think I relapse because of a combination of not having a valid reason enough to do nofap (I don't believe for SHITTTT the superpowers) and because of boredom, which is often induced because I'm a borderline and depressive person.

 

Buildup of stress, general/social anxiety and depression when abstaining.

 

1 thing . When the urge hits the most , i start feeling that this is bulshit and there is no such thing as pornography addiction.
If there is , then the pain aint worth it .
It just a trick that i believe for a while and then i realize that its not true and i try to do another streak .

 

Yeah I'm only just back in the game. Good news is I'm really feeling it this time, as in I'm glad I'm working on myself and am looking forward to the whole thing. A few months back when I cycled through my short streaks I was far more focused on how much I was missing out on, and how 90 days seemed impossible to reach, and it made me want to quit. At the moment I'm thinking more like "it's gonna be long but it doesn't have to be hard".

Let's get this bread

 

Being rejected by women IRL.

 

Anxiety and impulses

 

Boredom, stress, naivity, arrogance and being in a sexual setting (dance club)

For me the triggers which made me relapse in the past;

* Small sexual stimuli
Sites like youtube, 9gag, dailymotion and so on...
* searching for non nude material on google
* allowing sexting with gf

Be also aware that booze affects the rational mind.

For me a relapse is never a dicission of now I’m going to pmo, it’s always a small mistake that results in the deed however if your ration mind becomes stronger then you can handle more. These days I can deal a lot better with seeing small sexual stimuli but I won’t be naive or proud about it because that results in a relapse as well.

 

• Feelings of hopelessness
• Wanting those feelings of my hands on myself and having all the pornography I wish to watch.
• Disbelief in becoming a better self; not believing that I can ever be like what I wanna be like in bed and O as much as other women without nasty images in my mind..

 

Boredom and depression. Those two really cause relapse every time for me.

 

Interesting thing. I just observed it, among other things. This might sound...well obvious. Things are harder in the summer, with all the sexual stimuli floating around. Especially when I have to go to a student town in my country, in the center, it is like...well, having to be surrounded by cookies , or better yet, gourmet food , while starving and with no money. Sometimes porn is also like I am just going to pretend a rock is a piece of cake and eat it.