35 and Older Accountability Group

Thank you bro, I need all the motivation I can get right now. Let's do this..

 

Day 10. Back on the straight and narrow path again, hasn't been anywhere as easy as the previous days 25-40 but nevertheless I got through. Seems like everywhere I look these days there's a fragrant waft of flesh coming from the TV or computer, some small triggers and some bigger, the world is becoming darker and seeing the flesh and sexual immorality is becoming more acceptable from society's standpoint. I have to be more vigilant with turning off these mediums of temptation.

The last assault definitely knocked the wind out of me, my brain was tampered with as anxiety came back and the thought of 'can I really lift this weight off me again?' It's like as soon as you enter the enemies lair and then want to leave so soon he runs after you..."why so soon? wait wait my friend, if you wait just a while I have many more wonderful things for you to explore...I can make you much better for it"... God steps in and throws me on his chariot, lets get out of here my son...thank you Lord.

3 days after I got out I had an onslaught of negative thoughts, anger and frustration, I hated everyone and anything (I got past this after a day or so but it was a ruthless attack which poisoned my mind from the enemy as if one of his snipers got me at long range)

Anyway, as the age old saying goes if you play with fire you will get burnt.

Stay vigilant my brothers, keep guard in your tower and night watches as the enemy is relentless...

Blessings.

 

Checking in..

 

Got home last night from a hike and dinner with my wife. She went downstairs to take a shower which, in the past would have been prime time to check out some P. Instead I sat down and played my guitar. The interesting thing is that when I went to bed I realized the thought of PM never occurred to me when I got home. There was no urge - it was like I forgot about P. This battle is super tough but eventually (who knows how long exactly) there will be more easy moments like that and fewer times where you really have to fight. No doubt there will be plenty of battles ahead for us all but it can be done. Finding this website and this group has been especially helpful to me. Keep fighting guys.

 

What’s the rule on swearing? Anyway, you effing better climb high! No efforts have been lost, all you have done in the past prepared you for this moment. just do it!

 

Tuesday check in. Working in the kitchen is weird but much more social!

 

Let's do this! I've got to get back on track.

 

Yeah that weekend wasn’t great for lots of us lol, but it’s a good place to start from the same place.

Trying to get going again. Hoping for a good long streak and maybe even the streak that will last forever.

 

Wednesday check in.

 

Yeap i am still here , sorry, most of the days during the last month i was away enjoying the summer here

 

Day 1 again , lack of motivation and energy and a lot of stress are the main feelings the last days after returing from vacation.
What worries me is that i don't even have the urge to sit and spend some time in my studio which for me is something like cure in harsh moments.
So because i wasn't in the mood to create some music i pushed myself to sit down and mix an audio file mixed with positive affirmations i found on youtube comparing my hobby and meditation which i enjoy a lot.
If anyone is interested maybe i could share it with you.I would also like to hear opinions about the project so why not starting here with that.

 

Checking in

 

Gonna make a real go if it this time.

/Reboot

 

Doing good. Some urges, which I 100% expected but not as bad as I thought they would be which I am very thankful. I have an alcoholic friend with over 25 years of sobriety who always says, "a grateful heart will stay sober" and that definitely applies to this and any addiction. It sounds so simple, but if I don't have that bridge from my brain to my heart, I'm going to keep failing. It's easy to say I'm grateful, and another thing to truly feel grateful. Anyway, sorry for the ramblings. Everyone have a blessed day!

 

Sorry for stepping back . counter is ON . i wish i can join when possible . thanks !

 

Thursday check in. Kitchen situation is so different to being in my room by myself, however it's hard to get work done sometimes with all the noise around me!